Page 36 of All I Have Left

I raise an eyebrow. “Why? She’s bossy.”

“But she fucking suc—”

“Okay.” I cut him off. “I’m drunk, but not enough forthatconversation.”

Laughing, we stumble into the field after our fifth round of Jäger shots.

Ethan holds me up, or maybe I’m holding him up. Either way, we eye the stage. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

He nods, his cheeks flushed. “Fuck yeah, dude. It’s about time we got this party started!”

The band playing for Saturday night is more than willing to let us intervene. I’m not sure if they wanted to see us play because we were good, or if they wanted to see two drunken idiots trying to perform.

I’m in no condition to be on a stage, with a microphone in hand, but you’d be surprised what Jäger can convince you of being a good idea. Ethan hands me the electric guitar. “Show time.”

After a few cover songs, I catch sight of Evie and Shane making their way into the field with Frankie. That’s when I realize that I’m on stage, a microphone in hand and up here, she might listen to me.

Maybe this way I’ll get through to her.

19

EVIE

If you would have told me three days ago the love I thought had left me forever would return out of the blue, I would have said no way.

If you would have told me that I let a guy force me to give him a blow job alongside the highway, I would have laughed at you. I’m not that kind of girl.

Truthfully, I don’t know who I am anymore because this girl standing next to a guy who abuses her, that is not me. That girl, the one crying almost hysterically earlier while scrubbing her face so hard it became raw trying to erase the humiliation, she’s lost, insecure, broken, and looking for someone holding the glue.

That guy by the way, he’s currently doing shots of Jäger with my brother on stage. Surely they’re going to pass out at any point now.

I don’t know why I’m here after what happened with Shane in his car. I should have gone home, but he wouldn’t let me. So now I’m here, with him, because it’s better than being at his house, and trying like hell not to stare at Grayson.

“You really did a number on Grayson this morning,” Frankie whispers in my ear as she uses my shoulder to adjust the strap ofher shoe. “It took us three hours to convince him to come tonight.”

“I didn’t do anything to him,” I defend, watchful of Shane standing near me with his friend Lance. “He broke my bedroom door.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Ask him.”

It makes me angry that Frankie’s accusing me of hurting him even though I know I pushed him out the door, and now hearing that he was bothered by it doesn’t make me feel any better about it.

“Andyou,” I accuse, pushing Frankie away from me, “why didn’t you tell me he was home when I saw you yesterday? Did it just slip your mind while you were whoring me up?”

“Now hold on there, tiger. First of all, you did not look like a whore. And second, he asked me not to and seeing how we share the same DNA, I let him have this one.” She carelessly shrugs, glancing toward Shane. “Besides, I don’t understand why it matters.”

“Nice. I’ll keep that in mind the next time you need dirt on Ethan.”

Frankie scowls, as if she’s deciding whether it had been worth it or not. Rolling her eyes, she hooks her arm around my elbow and yanks me toward where Ethan and Grayson are. I want so badly to go over there and tell Grayson how sorry I am for pushing him away but I can’t find the words. Instead, I hide behind what I think is doing the right thing for all of us. Staying away.

I pull my arm from hers, my hair sliding off my shoulder. “I can’t go over there.”

Turning toward me, her eyes immediately land on my cheek. “What happened to your fucking cheek?”

Shit. My makeup didn’t work. Do you notice the accusing tone she uses and the way her eyes flick to Shane? Yep.Girlfriend knows what’s up and the more I try to hide it, the more she realizes my defensiveness points toward her assumptions.

“Steam burn from work,” I lie, trying to play it off and adjust my hair. I’m not going to give her the confession she’s looking for. I don’t want her to know that the one behind me whose happiness tonight comes from a glass, is also the one that leaves black and blue behind anytime his touch finds mine. And here I am, frantically stuffing excuses into my mouth, praying what I eat doesn’t make me sick.

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