Page 79 of All I Have Left

“Well, I don’t know. I haven’t been around and this shit is fucking with my head.”

I can feel him watching me. I stare out the windshield before he mumbles, “She never said anything.” Sighing, he pulls out of the driveway and I expect his response to be left there, but it’s not. He adds, “I asked a few times, especially after I took her to the ER. She showed up at the house, bleeding, said she fell and I rushed her in. She wouldn’t say, but Frankie let it slip that Evie had a miscarriage and I guess Evie had admitted to one of the nurses that she’d been kicked in the stomach.”

I don’t know why but the idea that he got her pregnant hurts a little more than him hitting her. Probably because I’d always imagined us sharing that experience together. And that’s fucked up to think, isn’t it?

The rest of the drive to the job site, Ethan is quiet, until he blurts, “I already talked to Wyatt, but I want your blessing too.”

“On?”

“I’m gonna ask Frankie to marry me.”

I… didn’t see that one coming. They’ve been dating for a while, so I guess if I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own head, Iwould have seen it coming. “I couldn’t have asked for a better guy to be dating my sister.”

“So you’re okay with it?”

I nod, but part of me hurts. I wish I was preparing to ask Evie to marry me, but I know we’re nowhere close to that yet.

38

EVIE

Ispend the day with Kelly. We get our hair done, have manicures and pedicures, and then she takes me to lunch.

That’s when she hits me with “What’s with you and Grayson?”

Biting into my salad, I attempt to act casual. “What do you mean?”

“He’s got issues, Evie. Some bad shit happened in Iraq.”

Issues? No, I would have never guessed. “I gathered that much judging by his lack of sleep and nightmares.”

She stirs the straw around in her sweet tea. “Has he opened up about it?”

I stare out the window at the kids running past, their parents chasing after them. “No, not yet. Do you know what happened?”

“I don’t know everything, but Dad said he went missing back in March, and then they found him not long after that. Grayson hasn’t said anything to anyone about it. Dad has tried to bring it up a few times, but he won’t talk about it.”

“That’s probably where all those scars came from then,” I deduce, remembering what his back looks like.

“I think so, but again, nobody talks about it. It’s like we’re allwalking on eggshells, careful not to bring it up around him. The only reason I knew any of this is because I’d tried to get hold of Grayson and couldn’t. So I called Dad and he told me. They didn’t say anything to Frankie because she can’t keep a secret to save her ass.”

I smile through the uneasiness. “You’re right, she can’t.”

“And I guess it’s not even a secret, but he’s not talking about it. Just be careful.”

Kelly and I have never been very close. Not that I didn’t try. I chased her around growing up wanting to be like her, but being four years older, we were kids to her. I think about her words. “Are you worried I’m going to hurt him? Because I won’t. I love him, Kel.”

She nods. “I know you do. I’m worried you guys are using each other as a crutch to avoid the real issues at hand. You with Shane and the emotional damage he did, and him with whatever happened over there.”

In part, she’s right. We are using each other as a crutch. But I don’t think it’s all that bad. What’s the harm in getting through this together?

After lunch, she takes me back to the house so I can pack. Our plan is to head to the lake house tonight. It’s Josh and Kelly’s last weekend before they go back to Arizona. And given that the Fourth of July is next week, I can understand them wanting to have a party. Josh’s parents used to throw huge parties on the lake for that weekend every year.

Ethan and Grayson get home around five. Just as we’re getting ready to leave, Grayson reaches for my wrist to pull me back down with him on the couch.

He’s yet to shower, still dressed in his dirty jeans from the day and has a beer in hand. I glance back at him with surprise. He winks. He looks so incredibly hot all rugged, sweaty, lounged back and ready that I have a hard time not straddling him.

“You guys coming?” Ethan asks, noticing we haven’t moved. “We’re going to pick up some food before going to the lake.”

---