Page 40 of Smokin' Situation

Sweatrolleddownmytemples, my muscles burning as I repeatedly swung the axe into the stump of the tree they’d just felled along the edge of the river. I hated we were having to destroy so much of the tree line, but we needed to remove the fuel source so it couldn’t spread past this point.

At least the wind wasn’t working against us, although it just made the sweltering heat that much more unbearable. We were all drenched with sweat as the sun rose, my long-sleeved soaked, but it was staying on because it’d keep me safe from the inferno burning in the not-so-distant tree line.

The Chief hadn’t protested me joining the ground crew, assigning me a few less experienced firefighters and letting me guide them through setting up the firebreak. Most of them were trained for situations like this, but there was a big difference between simulation training and having to execute it outside of a controlled environment. As far as I knew, there hadn’t been a fire like this in years anywhere near Sage Springs.

“Harding! Take a break!” The sound of the Chief’s voice from behind me was almost a relief, and I stood upright, arching my back to relieve the pressure that had been building. This part of the job was grueling work, but there was something satisfying about harnessing the destruction of nature and stopping it in its tracks.

Fire wasn’t inherently bad for these ecosystems, often necessary for maintaining a healthy forest by purging the decay and unhealthy waste in the underbrush, but it could quickly become a destructive force that took out anything in its path.

While I’d been cleared medically for over a month, today was the first time I’d done anything truly strenuous. My skin felt tight, the sites of my grafts aching at the abuse. I knew my muscles would be sore, but it felt good to do something useful again.

Jogging back toward the supply truck, I guzzled the bottle of water that’d been shoved into my outside pocket. It was hard to stay hydrated out here, but we all knew the consequences if we didn’t. And we definitely didn’t need anyone passing out from dehydration like my girlfriend had a few days ago.

Fuck.I’d just thought of Rhey as my girlfriend. It’d been a long fucking time since I had one of those, but I didn’t hate the idea. In fact, it sounded pretty damn good. Maybe coming back home would be good for me in the long run. For once, I looked forward to finding my way back into the community with a beautiful, supportive woman by my side.

We still had a lot to learn about each other, but I was willing to put in the hard work.

“Meal break,” Chief grunted, shoving a paper bag with the logo of a local barbecue restaurant into my hands once I was at his side.

“Thanks, appreciate it, Chief,” I sighed, peeking at the contents. The smell of savory roasted meat had my stomach growling, and I hoped the foil wrapped sandwich inside was one of their pulled pork sandwiches.

That was another thing about doing work like this in a small town, everyone wanted to help in some way. Communities like this really came together and pitched in wherever they could when tragedy struck. A warm, hearty meal was hands down much better than the prepackaged meals that the forestry service tried to convince us were nutritious when we were out in the field. Mostly in situations like this one, I’d survive on protein shakes and power bars for days on end.

Chief Wilson patted the tailgate of the truck he was perched on, inviting me to join him.

“I know I’ve been tough on you since you started, Tristan, but I appreciate the way you’ve stepped up and done what you wereasked without complaining. It takes a lot of character to take a demotion like this and still be respectful of the chain of command.”

“Of course, I know I need to prove myself to earn a spot. I never wanted you to just hand me a job,” I replied, holding back a groan as I unwrapped my sandwich. My eyes rolled back in my head when I took a bite, and the Chief laughed while I chewed.

“I know you’ve got years of experience on some of my guys, but I also know what kind of mental toll an injury like yours can take on a person.” I wasn’t sure what to say, so I nodded, feeling like he wasn’t done talking. “You’ve proven to me this week that you’re not ego-driven and I respect that.”

“Thank you, sir. That means a lot.”

He reached up, lightly squeezing my shoulder. “And while I was about to chew your ass out for that little stunt on horseback you pulled, I knew you wouldn’t have volunteered if you questioned your ability to respond to a situation like that.”

Biting my tongue, I refrained from telling him about the panic attack I’d had in the barn after I knew Rhey was safe. There were plenty of people I’d worked with before that had the occasional meltdown after a life-threatening situation. It didn’t mean you were weak; it meant you were human.

As long as you didn’t let yourself get caught up in that negative headspace, it happened from time to time. It was a natural response to the things we saw and did.

“Today, you’ve proven to me that your leadership skills are solid. You didn’t complain when I threw some inexperienced officers at you, and I’ve watched you working with them.”

I didn’t know where he was going with this, so I just patiently listened while he got to the point of pulling me aside.

“I want you to think about what you’d like your career to look like from now on. I’d like you to consider a position as a field training officer, if that’s something you’d be interested in.”

I’d been a training officer before, mentoring new jumpers in the specialist program. It had been hard and rewarding work, but I wasn’t sure if that was what my future held. It was a job thatinvolved months of training, planning and mentoring before one of your trainees could go out on their own. Building a relationship with a recruit was vital and time-consuming.

Looking around the field we were in, at the rolling hills south, to the barn in the distance where I knew Rhey was working hard inside right now, and I wasn’t sure what path to take. Did I build a future that led back to me being a full-time firefighter? Or did I stay on at the ranch and forge a fresh path?

“Don’t decide anything right now,” he said, patting my shoulder again before he pressed a bottle of electrolyte drink into my hand. “But the position is there if you want it. And we can even make it a contract position for when we get new officers if you’d like to stay on at the ranch.”

“I’m honored, really, Chief, but—”

He held up a hand, interrupting me. “I won’t take a no today. Sit with it for a while. The offer will still be there when you’re ready to decide.”

His words lingered long after I returned to my crew, well after we ran the burn line and put it out, hoping it’d be enough to stop the fire that’d slowed down significantly. They were in the back of my mind as I helped pack the gear back into the department trucks and gathered my equipment and headed back to my truck.

The purpose in my career that had been illusive for months suddenly felt like it might spark back to life, but I still needed to think about what I really wanted in my future. And I knew one person who would help me gather my thoughts and talk through it without judgement.

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