Page 5 of Confessions of a High School Guidance Counselor

“You’re going to love it.”

“And?” I asked. “That’s a bad thing? What about the commission?”

“I don’t see you in this house!” She gestured at me, then the small home. “Don’t you think you’re going to get remarried someday? Your future missus will want space, maybe even an extra bedroom for a child-to-be?”

I snorted. “I’m a middle-aged man with gray hair and a sixteen-year-old kid. Yeah, I’m a real catch.”

She shook her head as if she knew something I didn’t. “Come on, Cohen. Let me show you around. It’ll take about two seconds.”

Chuckling, I followed her through the front gate. A chain-link fence surrounded the property, and I pictured Ollie and I getting a dog that would have run of the place. The “lawn” was mostly weeds, but I knew a guy who could help me handle that. And another who could help with the peeling paint on the exterior.

We walked through the antique front door, and I smiled at the hardwood beneath our feet. “These floors original to the house?”

She nodded. “So is the heater. But I think we could negotiate a credit for that.”

I nodded, walking through the living room toward the dining room, which had a simple gray tile on the floor. The ceilings were a little low, but the house had plenty of character with built-in cabinets and antique fixtures. The kitchen was small—smaller than the one in our apartment even—but Ollie would be moving out soon, and it would be just me. I didn’t need much.

Linda followed behind me, pointing out details about the house as I passed from the kitchen through the dining room to the small hall with the bedrooms and bathroom. Both small. But then I looked into the backyard and all that space. Ollie could have a gardenanda greenhouse if he wanted. Maybe even campfires with his friends and a hammock strung between two trees.

“I like it,” I said to Linda, who stood in the doorway behind me.

Her smile was wry. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

I looked around the place, trying to see it from her perspective, but I couldn’t see anything but potential here. “Is it really that bad?”

“I hope I’m not speaking out of turn,” she said, “and you can ignore me if you think I am. But both of my kids are grown and gone. The house gets awfully quiet after they leave. Awfully lonely. And sometimes, that fear that keeps us from opening up to someone new can keep us from a lot of great things too.”

My throat felt tight, but I cleared it and put a hand on her shoulder. “Thanks for the concern, Linda.”

She nodded.

“Can you put an offer in tonight?” I asked.

With a petulant shake of her head, she said, “Alright, but I’m going to get you a hell of a deal.”

“I’ll count on it,” I said.

3

Birdie

Confession: My best friend’s a high school dropout.

Between meetings and getting called in to classrooms, I didn’t have a spare minute all day to call my landlord. Or my best friend to tell her about the breakup.

Once I had a chance to collect my thoughts, I decided to start with the landlord. He was a douchy guy in his fifties who cared more about his frosted tips than anyone should, but there had to be a heart in there somewhere.

After I got out of the school parking lot, I hit dial on my phone and held it to my ear. Instead of a ring tone, an old rock song played, and I let out a sigh as I waited for him to answer.

Finally, his voice crackled across the receiver. “Go for Rob.”

I cringed. “Hi, Rob. It’s Birdie.”

“Your ear ringing? I was about to call you.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Yeah, Mrs. Cronckle said Dax moved out this morning? That’s a shame. I just wanted to make sure you were planning to pay this month’s rent.”

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