Page 105 of Confessions of a Smutty Romance Author

A crease formed between her eyebrows, but she nodded and followed me toward the stairs that led to a rooftop terrace. It was full of people, but we found a spot at a standing table near the corner. From here, we could see glittering city lights and a twenty-foot drop to the dirty streets below.

I couldn’t help but feel like my heart was teetering between the beautiful expanse of happily ever after with Mara and getting run over by a trash truck and smashed to pieces on the ground.

“What’s going on?” Mara asked. “I thought you’d be happy for me.”

“I didn't even know that there was anything to be happy for aside from the movie until two minutes ago,” I said. “I think I’m a little caught off guard. What's going on?”

She shook her head as if annoyed. “Charlotte just took me aside and introduced me to Bradley Mason, you know, as in the showrunner for half of the shows that we watch before bed, and he invited me to write on a new TV show that he's doing. They haven't even named it yet. But if it's Bradley Mason, I know it's going to be amazing.”

“And you’ve committed to it?” I asked. How had she made such a life-altering plan in a matter of minutes, without even consulting me?

“Of course I did! Why would I want to turn that down?”

I shook my head, trying not to feel betrayed or left behind. “I just figured that it would at least be a conversation between the two of us before you decided to up and move across the country for nine months!”

“A conversation about what?” Mara asked. “About me doing something completely incredible and amazing? Tonight, seeing my book turned into a movie, it was better than anything I’ve experienced in my life. Why wouldn’t I want to chase that feeling with a television show?”

Pain edged its way through my chest, making it hard to breathe. “You didn’t think about us?” I asked. I knew it sounded needy and whiny and pathetic, but I couldn't help asking the question. I almost blew a promotion I'd worked toward for years to support her in her time of need, and now she was going to move across the country without so much as a second thought of how it would affect me?

Mara shook her head. “Jonas, if I'm making that kind of money, I can fly back every weekend if I want to. I can fly you to come and visit me. And it's not like I'll be in Atlanta full time for the rest of my life. Honestly, I don't see why this is such a big deal.”

“A big deal?” I asked. “We fall asleep together every night, and now you're telling me that I'm supposed tomaybesee you on the weekends? And what about Tess's wedding coming up? Are you going to miss that?”

All her features were pinched as if she thought I was being insane, which only made me more frustrated.

“You know I wouldn't miss that,” she said. “But I don't knowwhyyou're trying to guilt me about this. You've been workinginsanehours lately. I hardly ever see you at night before you go to bed, and then when you do, you're obviously tired from the day, so all we do is watch a little TV and go to bed. Are you saying it's okay for you to do and not for me?”

I shook my head. She wasn’t understanding this at all. “Tax season istemporary,Mara. It's a few months out of the year. You're talking about a television series where you’re going to be gone for nine months at a time! The show could go on for years if it does well!”

A few people were looking at us now. Mara kept her voice low, talking just loud enough for me to hear her over the music. “Jonas, it’s just nine months. You’re borrowing trouble.”

“If Bradley Mason is as amazing as you say he is, you know damn well anything he touches is going to be out for at least six seasons.”

“Okay... so we make it work. We can do video calls and phone calls and letters like old times.”

I shook my head. Why hadn’t she thought this through? “What about my mom? She’s just going to go back to doing dialysis in a public place until she dies or gets a kidney?”

“Jonas,” she said harshly. “Don’t even talk about me like I would just write her off. I'll be making $30,000an episode. I think I can afford to have someone come and give your mom dialysis.”

“But it won't be you. You know how she is about strangers.” I was grasping at straws, but I knew Mom would miss her just as much as I would.

“Strangers only stay strangers for so long,” she said.

“Is there a contract?” I asked. “Anything other than just some rich guy talking to you in a club?”

She raised her eyebrows. “So you're jealous?”

“No, that's not it,” I said, flustered, frustrated, everything in between.

“Then what is it?” she snapped. “Because, honestly, Jonas, I got the best news for my career that I've gotten since finding out I had a movie deal, and you've said nothing positive about it. I would expect more from someone whosayshe loves me.”

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. “Mara, of course I'm happy for you.”

She shook her head, tears sliding down her cheeks. “It doesn't feel like it.”

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked. “Jump up and down that you're going to be away from me for the unforeseeable future? I had to practically beg you to commit to me, even as a girlfriend, and now you're just going to run off for some show in a new town with a new guy? Are you that eager to be away from me?”

“It's not about you!” she yelled, now ignoring the people staring. “Why are you making it about you?”

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