Page 109 of Confessions of a Smutty Romance Author

My heart hurt the entire time.

But it broke when I stopped.

So I didn’t stop.

Not until the doorbell rang.

I went to it, halfway fearing Jonas had sent something by delivery. It was his move, the way he showed he cared.

But instead of a delivery person, it was Birdie and Henrietta holding a bottle of Cupcake wine and a gallon of gourmet ice cream.

Birdie took me in her arms, hugging me tight. “Jonas told me what happened.”

Henrietta wrapped her arms around the both of us. “He thought you might need your family.”

This was it, I realized. His last delivery. Because even though he believed in forever, that didn’t mean he believed in forever with me.

My friends and I sat in my living room, eating ice cream and drinking wine from oversized glasses Birdie had gotten me as a joke for one of my birthdays. It wasn’t a joke right now, though. This size felt appropriate for what I was going through.

Birdie held up her own glass, swirling around the pink moscato. “If this would have happened a year ago, we’d be at the bar, drinking shots of something a lot harder than this.”

“Thiswouldn’t have happened a year ago,” I replied. I never would have let someone close enough to hurt me, much less break my heart.

Hen nodded. “I knew it would take a special guy to make you fall in love, but I never saw Jonas coming.”

“Me neither,” I agreed. A year ago, it would have taken a literal Viking with muscled thighs, a sexy armored skirt, and a powerful weapon to have even close to a chance at becoming more than a casual hookup. Maybe that’s why Jonas was able to get under my skin. I’d never expected an accountant in a suit to be the one to sweep me off my feet. But he had, with his quiet confidence, unassuming tenderness, and generosity.

I set my glass down and shoved a spoon into my melting bowl of ice cream. “This sucks.”

“Mhmm,” Hen agreed.

“And I’m so stressed about leaving Mariah. I’d pay for someone to come to their house for dialysis, but I have no idea who would do it...”

Birdie and Henrietta both looked deep in thought.

Hen said, “Don’t Jonas or Tess have friends who work from home or something?”

That would be the dream. Someone Mariah already knew and trusted... Someone who made their living online, perhaps as a virtual assistant. “Let me text Tess real quick.”

Mara: Hey, I’m going to be out of town for a few months for work, but I want to make sure your mom is covered while I’m gone... Do you think we could pay Tracey to stay with her?

I let out a breath, and we were all quiet as we waited a few minutes for her to reply. Either way, I knew the answer would break my heart. One way, we’d have to keep searching for the perfect fit. Another way, I’d be leading Jonas right into another woman’s arms.

Jonas had asked Tracey out before me. She’d told me herself she wished she’d given him a chance. What if me leaving was the thing that finally brought them together? Could I live with myself if it was? If it wasn’t?

Tess: Tracey’s in. She said she’d do it for free. She offered as a backup a couple weeks after you started.

My mouth dropped right along with my heart.

“What?” Hen asked.

I flipped the screen, and they both came closer to read the words.

“What?!” Birdie cried. “They could have had someone else handle it this entire time and Jonas had you doing it?”

My eyes were feeling hot with tears again. “Why would he do that?”

Birdie shook her head in confusion.

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