Page 124 of Confessions of a Smutty Romance Author

“You deserve the best,” I breathed, still not quite believing it could be me.

“Then I deserve you.”

I shook my head. “Jonas, you deserve so much better than me. I can't give you children. I can't give you the traditional life you want.”

“What if that’s not what I want anymore?”

“What if that’s just you settling?”

“I could never settle with you. Not when all I’ve been thinking of every day since you left is lying next to you at night, hearing your voice on the phone during the day, and making love to you for the rest of our lives.”

I was done fighting, done resisting, done thinking that our picture of happily ever after couldn’t be the same. I took him in, with his five o’clock shadow and his outfit that he’d worn since the night before on his way to me. This was the love of my life. And I was finally,finally, getting out of my own way.

I took that face in my hands, and I pressed my lips to his, pouring every ounce of my love for him into the kiss.

“Does this mean you’ll be with me?” he asked against my lips, already breathless.

I smiled into our kiss. “For the rest of our lives.”

62

Jonas

I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, desperate to feel her, to touch her, to show her just how much I loved her. I laid her back on the bed and kissed her face, her cheeks, her neck, and then I pulled back her robe, kissing every part of her I’d missed so much.

Her hands roved over my shoulders and back, savoring me just as I was doing with her. Our bodies responded to each other, and I could feel the damp heat through her underwear. I tugged them aside and slipped two fingers inside, feeling and stretching her.

She whimpered. “Jonas.”

“I know, baby,” I said, curling my fingers to touch her sensitive spot, then pulling them out and circling her clit.

Her hips bucked. “Jonas, I missed you. Please.”

I knew I wouldn’t last long. Not with her body, not with all the emotions building me up and breaking me apart. I’d almost lost this. Almost lost her. I promised myself I’d never be so stupid again.

“Please,” she said.

“I won’t last long.”

“I don’t care,” she gasped, reaching for my pants, fumbling for the button.

I gently moved her hands aside, sliding my zipper down and freeing my cock, which had been straining against my pants.

She took it in her hands for a moment before lying back and pulling me down.

Desperately, I moved my tip against her entrance, pressing once, twice, before sliding all the way inside her as close as I could.

I couldn’t hold back, not now, not with Mara, not after missing her for so damn long. I pumped inside her, going fast.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she took me, wrapping her thick legs around my waist. “I love you,” she sobbed. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you forever,” I said back, savoring the words as they melded between us, as our bodies pushed and pulled, saying everything that we’d missed in the time we’d been apart.

“I’m getting close,” I warned. I didn’t want our first time to be about me, so I pulled back to pleasure her first, but she wrapped her legs tighter around me, holding me in and not letting me go.

The motion was enough to push me over the edge. I came into her, dropping my face into her shoulder and sobbing with all the pain I’d held in. With all the hopes I’d thought I’d lost.

“I love you,” I cried.

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