Page 17 of Confessions of a Smutty Romance Author

I pressed my hand over my heart, feeling the ache for her. I might not have been a burn victim, but as a plus-size woman, I was used to the judgement. To the strange looks and people wanting to stay away as if standing too close to me would somehow make them obese.

I’d grown a thick skin to give those types of people the middle finger. But Jonas’s mom... It broke my heart that she felt like she had to hide away because she looked different.

“The house is a little... cluttered. I feel like since everything was lost in the fire, she has a hard time letting anything go. Dad makes sure it’s not a hoarder situation or anything, but there are stacks of books everywhere and photos on every inch of the walls. She pretty much spends her time reading and gardening.”

I nodded, wishing I knew Jonas well enough to cover his hand with mine. “I’m sorry that happened. And thank you, for letting me know.”

“She’s excited to meet you,” he said quickly. He shook his head with a pained smile. “Apparently my sister’s wedding coming up has her thinking I should probably get the ball rolling too.”

I smiled slightly, trying to hide my painful envy at this whole life he had. A mom who loved him despite her demons, a dad who stuck with her, a sister looking forward to her happily ever after... He’d won the lottery. I wondered if he knew it. “Why don’t you date?” I asked instead. “Since it seems like you believe in love and all.”

He studied me for a moment. “Despite my involvement in this... shenanigan, I take love seriously. Once I’m in, I’m in.”

7

Jonas

My gut worked itself in knots as we approached my family home. The one where I’d grown up and made mistakes and had way too many baby pictures hanging on the walls. The one where my parents and sister waited to meet my new “girlfriend.”

I’d never lied to my mom before.

Scratch that.

I’d lied to her once as a seventeen-year-old in high school. She’d asked me if I used protection sleeping with my girlfriend and I said yes. There must have been a tell in my expression because she slapped me in the face and made me come to the store with her for the morning-after pill. Mom had looked me in the eye and said, “Conceiving and caring for a baby never happens alone. You’rejust as responsiblefor every single step in the process as she is. You can choose whether you want to be responsible for preventing pregnancy or caring for one.”

The next day, when my girlfriend came over, we had the world’s most uncomfortable conversation, in front of my parents and giggling sister.

Needless to say, I wore a condom from then on out, and now I asked my adult girlfriends if they needed help paying for their birth control since my mom was absolutely right. It shouldn’t just be on one person.

That was the kind of woman my mother was. She was smart and strong and loving and wouldn’t hesitate to tell you if you were royally fucking up.

I just hoped this wouldn’t be one of those times.

We parked in the carport in front of my old bedroom, and I stared at the navy-blue curtains in the window. Mom and Dad had converted the garage to my bedroom when I was twelve and Tess was ten and sharing a bedroom with my little sister just wouldn’t do anymore.

“Ready?” I asked Mara.

She only nodded.

“Wait in your seat.” I got out of the car and walked around to her side to open the door. If I didn’t, my dad would be out here making damn sure I knew how to treat a woman.

Mara stepped out, giving me an annoyed smile. “I can work the handle perfectly fine myself.”

“Not relevant,” I replied with a smirk. “Not when you’re with me.”

Her smile was contagious. I extended my elbow for her and she slid her hands through the gap, linking her fingers in the crook of my arm. The warming of my skin under hers felt natural. I wondered if it was because she was so comfortable with men. Or if she was just easy to be around in general.

Before I even reached the door, Dad was pulling it open and smiling wider than I’d ever seen at the girl on my arm. “You must be Mara!” he said, stepping aside. “Come on in, sweetheart.”

It was clear how ecstatic he was for me to have a woman with me. Tess, on the other hand, gave us a tight smile from where she sat on the couch in between our mom and her fiancé, Derek.

Tess had been more than a little suspicious at my all-to-convenient revelation of a girlfriend who’d be willing to help with Mom’s dialysis. Between her and Mom, I had about a one in a million chance of pulling this off. But Mara was already working magic with my family.

She released my arm to shake Dad’s hand. “Mr. Moore, I see where Jonas gets his good looks from.”

She had that fifty-year-old man blushing like a teenage boy. “Call me Cade,” he said.

“Cade,” she corrected. “It’s nice to meet you.”

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