Page 27 of Confessions of a Smutty Romance Author

“Tess owns a boutique that sells baby clothes and furniture, and Derek came in looking for a gift for his brother- and sister-in-law. He sat on one of the rockers, not realizing it was display only, and the whole thing kind of shattered.”

I laughed out loud. “No! That must have been so embarrassing!”

“Oh, it was, especially when one of the pieces went up his... Well, let’s say Tess was closing down the store and taking him to the emergency room.”

I covered my mouth with my hand. “You’re kidding.”

“Derek wishes I was,” Jonas said. “So she locks up the store and takes him to the ER, but he can’t sit down in her car, so she opens the trunk and hashim lie inside face first. And it’s not a big car, so the trunk’s open and his feet dangle over the edge.”

I laughed so hard my stomach was shaking. “Oh god no.”

“Yes! And Tess drives two miles an hour to the hospital with her window rolled down so she can hear him if he screams—it’s only a mile away from her store.”

“Shut up,” I laugh, picturing the whole thing in my head.

“So when they get there, the nurses rush out with a gurney and take him back, this chair rod sticking out of his... well, you know, and Tess stays with him because that’s just Tess.”

“Of course,” I said. “Naturally.”

“She in the waiting room for hours while they do all these tests to make sure he’s okay. And then his mom and his brother- and sister-in-law and their preacher come to the hospital.”

“Poor Derek,” I said, still shaking with laughter.

“Poor Tess because the second they figure out it was her store where he got injured, they start threatening to sue her and questioning her on why she would have a chair set up that you couldn’t actually sit on, which, fair.”

“Right,” I said.

“She’s in tears by the time the doctor comes out and says Derek’s going to be completely fine. The tear was really small, and they were able to sew it together with an endoscope. The stitches will dissolve after a couple weeks, and he has to take antibiotics and stool softeners for a while to, you know, protect the area.”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I said.

“Well, Tess was,” Jonas said. “She threw up, right on the doctor’s shoes.”

“You’re kidding,” I said, cringing. Even I couldn’t make up something so embarrassing.

“Nope. Then she ran away to the store and was just waiting for a lawyer to call and tell her she’s being sued for everything she has. But instead, Derek walks into the store that evening, and he has a deal for her. She’s so nervous she apologizes over and over and says she’ll do anything to make it up to him as long as he doesn’t try to destroy the store.”

“What did he say?” I asked, desperate to know.

Jonas shook his head, smiling. “He said his parents wanted to sue, but he’d drop the suit on three conditions...”

“Which were?”

“One, she let him set up all furniture in the store.”

I laughed. “Naturally. And two?”

“She picked out a gift for his new nephew. He had no idea what to get them.”

“Cute,” I said.

“And three, she let him take her out to dinner.” Jonas smile, the love and amusement clear in his eyes. “She said yes to all his conditions, purchased liability insurance, and now we havethe beststory to tell during speeches at the wedding.”

“That’s the best worst meet cute I’ve ever heard.”

“What’s a meet cute?” he asked.

“It’s the part in the story where a couple meets for the first time. Usually it’s adorable, like a guy and a girl bumping into each other on a sidewalk and dropping all their books,” I explained. “They start picking up their things and slowly rise, looking into each other’s eyes for the first time.”

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