Page 38 of Confessions of a Smutty Romance Author

I wanted to fuck him tonight. To get out of this shower, completely naked and dripping wet, and wait for him in his bed until he came and found me there, ready for him.

I wanted him to use those strong arms to hook around my hips and drive himself deep inside me.

I wanted him to fuck away every messed-up thing that had happened today until we were both panting and gasping for air, satisfied in every sense of the word.

No matter how lame my pajamas or underwear were, they’d match his marble floors just fine.

I crossed my legs, trying to ease the pressure there. Any other night, I would have called up Hayden or George or some other guy to distract me, but that wasn’t a possibility now.

So, I pulled the showerhead from its slot and lowered it to hit my most sensitive spot.

My head instantly dropped back, and I stifled a moan.

The thought of Jonas showering in here later, standing in the same place where I’d fucked myself just thinking of him… Shit, it got me hot.

With my free hand, I cupped my right breast and thumbed the nipple before moving to the other one. If I closed my eyes, I could picture the way he’d look, sucking on my tits, tasting them and teasing them with his gorgeous white teeth. The way his dark brown eyes would haze over with lust.

I bit back a moan, getting closer and closer to the edge with the pressure of the water and the idea of what Jonas could do with me. If the way my heart raced with his hands on my knees, toying with the edge of my dress, was any indication, he could do plenty.

I wondered if he was thinking of me too. If the idea of me being naked sent him wild. What he would do if he saw me. How his touch would feel. I was fucking desperate for it.

I bit down on my bottom lip as I came, letting the shudders take over my body.

With weak hands, I put the showerhead back in the rack and lowered myself to the floor, taking in every sensation. The aftershocks of my orgasm, the steam rising around me, the hardness of the floor and tile lines under my ass.

Part of me wished I could act out those fantasies with Jonas, but I knew better. This was strictly business; our hearts or bodies had no need getting involved past what was required to trick the media into thinking our relationship was legit.

Besides, he was too nice for me. No guy I’d ever been with would have been so adamant about me staying at his house for my safety. His pleasure? Sure. But never when he wouldn’t get anything out of the deal.

Maybe Jonas could be a friend instead of simply an acquaintance I knew through my friend’s husband. He would make a good friend with how loyal and thoughtful he clearly was. The thought should have brought a smile to my face.

It didn’t.

The water was cooling, so I pushed myself up and turned off the shower. I pulled down the towel I’d hung over the glass shower door and wiped off my face, going to the mirror. After wiping off the steam, I took myself in. The ruddy color in my cheeks and chest. The way my hair looked nearly black when it was wet. My full lips and even fuller stomach and hips.

I tilted my head to the side, wondering what Jonas thought of me. I knew I was sexy, knew I could please a man. But did he know that?

I let out a sigh—it was best not to worry about things that couldn’t ever come true.

I finished toweling off my body and hair, then applied my favorite apricot lotion to my body. It made my skin so soft and the smell was heavenly. As soon as I was done, I twisted my wet hair into a bun and pulled on my Christmas pajamas.

Now I was smiling in the mirror. The red shirt said Santa Loves Curvy Girls, and the pants were red with white Santa hats printed on them.

After putting the last of my things back in my bag, I stepped out of the shower, shivering as the air-conditioned air hit my still-damp skin. I listened for the TV, but when I couldn’t hear it, I walked down the hall, calling, “Jonas?”

There was a bumping sound from the guest room, and he called back, “In here.”

I slowly went to the door and cracked it open. The top few buttons of his dress shirt were undone, and his pants were rumpled, surely from a long day. But then I caught sight of a giant mattress where there used to be none.

“You’re airing out the bed?” I asked.

“I’m assuming the security company won’t be able to come set up at your house until at least Monday, and I’d hate to be a cliché with the only-one-bed thing.” His smile was so endearing, especially with the extra color in his cheeks. His eyes slid over my body, and he chuckled. “I like your shirt.”

“I don’t have many pajamas since I normally sleep naked,” I lied, just to see his reaction. His cheeks gained even more color, and I laughed, pointing at him. “Got you!”

He shook his head at me. “Ha ha. I’m going to shower. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the house. I had groceries delivered a couple days ago, so there should still be plenty in there.”

“Thanks,” I said with a smile.

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