Page 53 of Confessions of a Smutty Romance Author

The words both hurt and made me worry. Why did it feel like she was breaking up with me already? “What do you mean?”

“Any time a man has done something for me, there were always strings attached.” At the crease in my eyebrows, she added, “Like if a guy bought me a drink at a bar, it was only because he wanted to take me home. Or if someone let me crash on their couch, they did it because they wanted to have sex on hand at any time.”Or when a guy agreed to fake date her, he did it so his mom could have dialysis at home.

She let out a sigh and turned, resting her back against the railing. “Eventually, I think I just found safety in my girlfriends and physical pleasure out of guys. And I know that sounds terrible, but it's just the truth.” She met my eyes now, lifting her chin as if challenging me to fault her. I didn’t. “So, I'm really sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable last night, but all of this is new to me.”

I shook my head, not wanting her to feel an ounce of guilt or shame over her past. “I think you’re better at being a friend than you think you are.”

“How so?” she asked.

“You came to Seaton Bakery with me to try out wedding cakes for my sister's wedding. That’s definitely a friend thing.”

She smiled slightly.

“And we went to Waldo’s Diner together, where you told me I have crappy taste in milkshakes. If we were dating, you’d definitely try to agree with me more.”

She laughed. “I can’t argue with that.” Then she looked over at me, her smile sincere. “It is nice to have a friend.”

I smiled and agreed, even though part of me wished we could be so much more.

20

Mara

Confession: I still miss my mom.

Jonas offeredto go with me to his parents’ house the next morning, but I waved him off and told him I would be fine. And it was the truth. His parents were some of the kindest people I’d ever met.

So I got in my car and drove to their house, remembering the way there because it was so close to Hayden’s house. Luckily, his car wasn’t outside when I drove by because that would have been anawkwardconversation.

As soon as I parked, Cade came out wearing his work uniform with his name stitched in red thread above his breast pocket. He grinned big, saying, “It’s great to see you, Mara!”

I smiled back at him, stifling a yawn. “How can you be so cheery in the morning?”

“Years of practice.” He chuckled. “I have to get to work, but I left breakfast for you two on the table. The technician should be here in half an hour. If you have any problems, my number’s on the fridge. Just call and I’ll be here in fifteen minutes flat.”

I put my hand on his shoulder. “We’ve got this. Have a good day at work, okay? No need to worry about us.”

He gave me a bashful smile and admitted, “I have been a bit worried.”

“Totally understandable.”

He nodded. “Have we mentioned how lucky we are that Jonas met you?”

I let out a laugh. “I’ve been feeling the same way lately.”

Glancing at his watch, he said, “I better go,” and walked toward his truck.

I waved before going to the front door and knocking.

“Come in!” Mariah called.

I did as she asked and found her sitting at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of orange juice. There was a stack of pancakes on a platter, along with a plate full of crispy bacon and another of scrambled eggs. Now I knew where Jonas had learned to make breakfast.

“Hi, honey,” Mariah said. “How was your weekend? We watched you two on the news, and you both did so great.”

My cheeks warmed at the thought of her seeing me kiss her son. I wasn’t a prude by any stretch, but there was a time and place for everything. “Thank you.”

She passed me an empty plate and said, “Eat up. Cade will be heartbroken if he sees too many leftovers in the fridge.”

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