Page 55 of Confessions of a Smutty Romance Author

“So, what about Liza and Reid? How did they get together?”

“It’s a marriage of convenience,” I said. “Reid needs to be married as a term of his trust fund, and Liza’s willing to marry him if he’ll help her buy back her family’s dairy farm. They’re total opposites, of course, her waking up every day at four in the morning to milk cows while he’s having maids deliver breakfast in bed. They hate each other at first.”

Mariah clapped her hands together. “Ooh, I can’t wait to read it!”

I grinned. “I can hook you up with an advanced copy, if you want it.”

“Um, yes please.”

I signed into my laptop and went to one of the sticky notes I kept open all the time. “I’m writing it down right now. What’s your email?” She spelled it out for me, and I said, “Got it... Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, honey.”

The way she called me honey... it melted my heart. My own mom had left when I was twelve, and she wasn’t the affectionate kind. I wondered what it must have been like for Tess and Jonas to grow up with her as a mom. And I realized I wanted her to like me, maybe even more than I wanted Jonas to.

It took me a second to work up the courage to ask. “How do you feel about your son dating a sex writer? I mean, doesn’t it make you uncomfortable to know the things I write about and my... history?”

One corner of her thin lips drew down. “I feel like romance is misunderstood. People think it’s all about getting off or indulging yourself. That’s not what I see when I read your stories. When I see your life.”

“What do you see?” I asked, desperate for her answer. To be truly seen by this incredible woman.

She reached across the gap between our chairs and took my hand in hers. “When I look at you, I see someone who needed an escape. You could have picked anything—drugs, violence, alcohol... But you chose one filled with love, and you’ve shared that love with so many readers. I think you’re incredible, Mara.”

My eyes stung with unshed tears. I’d never felt so understood before in my life. So un-judged for my past or for my career. “You’re going to make me cry.”

“Remember what Jennika said in your book? ‘Tears are pain’s way out, and the emptiness they leave are love’s way in.’”

21

Jonas

“Are you okay?” my bookkeeper, Karen, asked me after she had to repeat her question for the third time. She was nearly fifty years old and had worked in this place longer than I had. She had the same big blond hair, rosy cheeks, and penciled-in eyebrows that she’d had when I met her on my first day at ESR Accounting.

I rubbed my temples and sat back in my chair. “Sorry. My mom’s doing at-home dialysis for the first time, and I think I’m a little nervous.”

“Oh, sugar,” she said, in only the way an older woman could. “I’m sure your momma’s fine. Those machines have gotten so good they practically run themselves.”

“I know,” I said. “I should be focusing on that promotion up for grabs, but I’m having a hard time.”

She shook her head. “Best not let Mr. Rusk see you waffling. You know how he is. One wrong move and...” She drew her finger across her neck.

I nodded, doubling down on the work. “Now ask me that question again.”

Only three hours left until I could break for lunch with the guys and talk to Mom about how her morning went.

* * *

I calledmy mom as I drove to Waldo’s Diner to meet Steve and Cohen, and she answered within a few rings. “Hi, honey.”

I smiled at her standard greeting. “Hey, Mom, how’d it go?”

“It was great. Mara and I had a grand time, the technician was cute, and we’re all set to do it again Wednesday morning.”

“Wait,” I said, slowing at a stop light. “What was that about the technician?”

“He was cute!” She laughed. “Jealous?”

“No,” I said, far too quickly.

---