Page 98 of Confessions of a Smutty Romance Author

“Thank you, sir,” I said, grateful for the acknowledgement. I really had been breaking my back, wanting more than ever to take over. Before, work had been all about a stable income, providing for a family, but now I knew if I got into a leadership role, I could truly change the lives of people here at the firm.

We reached the door to the parking lot, and he paused. “I like where your priorities are.” He smiled, deepening all the lines on his face. “If you keep this up for the next month and a half, I see great things happening for you. Better wear your best to our end-of-season party. People are going to be looking at you.”

He held the door open, and I walked into the darkening parking lot, grinning. I was so close to this promotion; I could taste it.

I waved goodbye and got into my car to meet Cohen and Dad at a tux fitting for Mara’s movie premiere. This was a big deal for her, and it was exciting to know we’d be spending the night with her, watching alongside the dozens of people who’d worked on the film.

A quick drive later and I pulled into the parking lot and parked next to Dad’s old truck. Through the big front windows, I could see him and Cohen already inside, standing by the front counter. The bell rang over the door as I walked in, and they turned to greet me.

Dad put his hand on my shoulder. “I never thought I’d be fitted for so many suits in such a short amount of time,” he said. “First Tess’s wedding and then this premiere... I didn’t even wear a tux to my own wedding.”

I chuckled. Dad was definitely a jeans-and-work-shirt kind of guy, not into anything fancy.

A sales guy dressed in a suit came up to the desk and said, “We’re ready. Follow me, gents.”

Cohen nudged my elbow, mouthing,Gents.

I smiled at him, glad he was along for this too. Even though Mara didn’t have blood family she was close to, it felt like he was her family just as much as he was my friend, him and Birdie and Henrietta. And I had better get used to it since we weren’t going to make a family in the traditional way.

The sales guy (his name tag said Jarrette) had us sit on some chairs around a podium while he went to get the tailor. They were modern chairs without backs, and Dad cringed as he sat down.

I worried about him. How his body would hold up in his line of labor. It made me want to make more money to take the pressure off of him and Mom that much more. They’d given me and Tess the best life a kid could ask for—I owed them that much.

Cohen said, “How are you and Mara doing? I know you’ve been busy with tax season, but I haven’t heard much from you since the big disagreement you told me about a couple months back.”

“What disagreement?” Dad asked. “You better be treating our girl right.”

Cohen laughed. “They’ve already got a new favorite.”

Dad didn’t deny it. “What happened, son?”

I gave him the abbreviated version. “We were talking about kids, and she said she doesn’t want to have any. I tried to tell her she’d be a great mom, but...” I let out a sigh.

Dad sucked in a breath through his teeth. “How’d that go over?”

“Like a lead balloon,” I replied. “I don’t know. I always pictured myself having kids.”

Dad and Cohen nodded, listening.

“But Mara, you know how she grew up. She said she doesn’t want any children she could possibly mess up.”

Dad frowned. “Mara would be an amazing mother. I can already tell by the way she takes care of your mom.”

Cohen shook his head, explaining, “It’s not about that. When you grow up like she did, you spend your whole life knowing that the worst-case scenario could come true.”

Dad and I exchanged a glance. We just didn’t understand. Not in the same way Mara and Cohen did. Sometimes, I felt jealous of how Cohen inherently understood her. But I knew I wouldn’t trade my upbringing for his. Not in a million years.

“Is that something you could get past?” Dad asked. “That’s a pretty permanent decision, not having kids.”

“It’s a pretty permanent decision to break up with Mara for kids I don’t even know I can have,” I said, looking across the room at all the suits. The thought of making a decision that would change my entire life was scary, but not having Mara in my life, that seemed just as outrageous. Each day with her got better than the last. She was always having fun, working toward something, talking about characters that existed only in her mind and on the pages of her books. I loved my life with her and knew I would love it more when I wasn’t so busy with work.

Dad thought for a moment, then put his hand on my shoulder. “Every time we say yes to something, we’re saying no to something else. If you’re saying yes to her, make sure you’re okay with the no as well.”

The tailor approached, holding a floppy pink measuring tape. “Let’s get you gents set up for this premiere!”

44

Mara

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