Page 46 of Confessions of the Funny Fat Friend

I laughed. “I guess that is one of the benefits of not living back home anymore. No surprised redecorations.”

He snorted in agreement. “What’s up with you? Job going well?”

“It’s fine. Actually, I... uh. I have a date tonight.”

“Hot damn,” Rhett said, grinning ear to ear. The look instantly made me regret calling. “It’s been what? Two years since Sheridan?”

I lifted my eyes toward the sky, trying to forget my crazy ex-girlfriend. I’d been up-front, telling the girl, Sheridan, that I was only in town for a few months. I’d thought we were just having fun together, but she’d been completely heartbroken and even showed up to my next job site, trying to win me back. Jim had been pissed, calling it a liability. So my no-dating rule commenced.

I cleared my throat. “Two years. Which means I’m rusty as hell. Any tips?”

“On getting laid? I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

“Okay, now I’m really regretting this call.”

Rhett laughed. “Girls always loved you. You have that mama’s boy charm no one can resist.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m hanging up now.”

“Girls like it when they feel like the most interesting thing in the room,” he said. “That hot waitress walks by? Don’t give her a second glance. Eyes on your date. She says something about her boring job? Ask her questions about it like it’s the most intriguing thing you’ve ever heard. She talks about how her nephew blew his first spit bubble, you’re in awe. Got it?”

I nodded, although it seemed easy. Henrietta was like a puzzle, and each new thing I learned about her felt like a piece that would get me closer to the full picture.

“But if you like the girl, which I’m guessing you do because you’ve never asked me girl advice before...”

I didn’t argue.

“You want her falling for the real you and not some lame tip your brother gave you five minutes before the date. Just be yourself, okay? It’s enough. I promise it’s enough.”

I cracked a smile at that. “Thanks, Rhett.”

“Any time.”

We hung up, and I took a deep breath before leaving the house.

Tonight was going to be big. I could feel it.

23

Henrietta

Confession: No one in my family has any chill when it comes to first dates... especially me.

Both of mybest friends sat on my bed while I looked at myself in the mirror above my dresser. Birdie had helped with my makeup while Mara picked out my outfit, and even though I was all dressed and ready, I was more nervous than I’d ever been in my life.

I turned toward my friends and said, “Are you sure this is the look?”

We’d gone with an olive-green dress, a denim jacket, white and cheetah print sneakers, and a white headband tied around my hair to match. It was cute, but was it enough for the firework show picking me up tonight?

Mara got up from the bed and put her hands on my shoulder. “Hen, you look amazing, but Tyler already knows what you look like! He already likes you! Remember, this is just for you two to spend more time together and see what happens. No pressure at all.”

Birdie nodded from where she sat on the bed. “I totally agree. You two are going to have so much fun tonight. Wherever you go.”

I tried to stifle my giddy smile. Tyler was surprising me with the destination of our date, and if I was being honest, I loved surprises. I loved that he was thinking of me enough to plan something he thought I’d love.

I glanced at my watch and saw I only had fifteen minutes until the date. “You guys should probably go so he doesn’t find out I needed my besties to help me get ready.”

Birdie winked. “Playing it cool, I like it.”

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