Page 66 of Confessions of the Funny Fat Friend

The music slowed, and the DJ came over the speakers. “It’s time for our bride and groom to cut the cake.”

We walked closer to the table with the cake, getting a better view of Mara and Jonas. The cake was stunning—lots of creamy frosting, decorative frosted flowers, and multiple tiers so everyone would have plenty to eat.

Just like every other wedding, Mara and Jonas approached the cake. A little couple mirroring them stood on the top tier, holding hands. Mara grabbed the topper first and licked the bottom, making me laugh along with everyone else.

“What? I’m not wasting perfectly good frosting,” she said.

“Here, here,” I called, raising my beer. (The open bar was a nice touch.)

Hen giggled. “That’s my girl.”

Jonas grinned adoringly at Mara, picking up the knife as the photographer’s camera sounded with each new picture. She placed her hands atop his, and they cut a chunk from the bottom layer. Jonas put a small piece in her mouth, and she sucked his finger suggestively.

Everyone whooped, cheering and making comments about the honeymoon.

“That sums up their personalities,” Hen confirmed with a laugh.

Then Mara held out the cake for Jonas, and after he ate it, he kissed a stray bit of frosting from her lips. I tightened my grip around Hen’s waist, and she smiled up at me, that ever-present light in her brown eyes. Feeling like my heart couldn’t get any bigger, any fuller, I bent my neck and placed a kiss on her lips.

She smiled up at me, and it was good.

It was so fucking good.

We danced for the rest of the reception, held up sparklers as Jonas and Mara walked away from the venue, and cheered along with everyone else as their car drove toward the airport, cans rattling on the ground behind them.

People around us began dissipating, getting into their cars and lighting the dark parking lot with headlights and taillights.

“Did you drive here?” I asked.

She nodded. “I can follow you to your place?”

I kissed her, hard. “I’ll see you soon.”

38

Henrietta

Confession: Cleaning supplies turn me on.

As I droveto Tyler’s place, all I could think was... I’m about to lose my virginity. My heart was beating fast and my hands were shaky on the steering wheel, but when I saw him standing against his truck in the parking lot, my worries faded. He’d been the dream guy since I met him—sex wouldn’t change that.

I got out of my car, acutely aware of his eyes sizzling over me like no man had ever looked at me before. His gaze wasn’t greedy or hungry... It was... appreciative. And oh so sexy.

I noticed something sticking out of the truck bed behind him, and I nodded toward it. “Bring your work home?”

“Oh this?” He turned toward the boxes as I walked beside him, looking at them.

My eyes instantly watered at the labels.

Engineered hardwood flooring, oak brown.

“Tyler, that stuff is so expensive. We have fifteen hundred feet to cover.”

He ran his hands over my hair, my shoulders, and hugged me from behind. His breath feathered my hair as he said, “Can you believe me when I tell you it’s no big deal?”

I shook my head, the memory of my mom begging with credit card companies fresh on my mind. I turned to face him, linking my hands behind his neck. “It’s a huge deal, Tyler. A very, very big deal.”

He leaned his head forward, resting his forehead against mine. “Then would you believe me when I told you that you’re worth it?”

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