Page 123 of Hello Doctor

“I love you, Fletcher. But I love myself too.”

He held me close, cupping the back of my neck as he kissed my forehead. “I wish I could be what you deserved.”

I stepped back, looking into his eyes. “You could be, Fletcher.” I twisted my lips to the side. “I’ll see you next Monday, when I’ve had a chance to recover from the surgery.”

“You’re leaving now?” he asked.

I looked around the room. “I’m out of reasons to stay.”

62

Liv

I drove away from Fletcher, fromhome, tears streaming down my cheeks.

I barely registered the music on the radio or the countryside passing out the window until I reached the Griffen Farms sign. Just like the windmill tattoo on my arm reminded me, these would always be my people. This would always be home. No matter how far I went, no matter who came in and out of my life.

I pulled into the lot and got out of the truck, taking deep breaths and wiping my eyes as I walked down the sidewalk. The lights in the house were off, but the door was unlocked. I went inside, but I couldn’t find it in myself to lie alone in my childhood bed. It would be just another reminder that I was right back where I started. No college degree. No life partner. No home. Nothing to show for thirty years of life.

So I walked to my parents’ front door, left open as always. My dad’s snores echoed through the room, familiar, soothing. And I went to my mom’s side of the bed, kneeling beside her.

“Mom,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “Mom.”

Her eyes snapped open, and she took me in. “Liv?” Understanding registered on her face. “No...”

“I had to leave,” I cried over the words. “I couldn’t stay there, and I can’t be alone. Not right now.”

She scooted back and said, “Come here, honey.” She lifted the blanket.

I curled under the covers as she wrapped her arm around my middle, and I cried until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.

It hurt like hell to leave that man with his big brown eyes begging me to stay. But I had to stand up for myself and what I wanted in life, even if it ripped my heart to shreds. This was the gift of growing older—perspective.

I’d been through heartbreak before.

I’d survived, even if it had never hurt this bad.

And I had to have faith that someday I would find a man who had the same dreams in life as I did and would give me all of himself. If not, it would be better to be alone than living with someone, knowing they didn’t love me quite as much as I loved them.

63

Fletcher

I sat on my couch, staring at the blank TV screen, and Graham pushed his head under my hand.

My heart broke further as I scratched his ears, remembering how he came to be ours. “She’s gone,” I whispered.

He let out a short whine.

“I know. Me too.”

I looked around the house and saw Liv everywhere. At the counter, making pancakes in the morning. On the living room floor, wrapping Maya in her tortilla blanket. On the couch, laughing at a movie she’d seen a million times before.

If I got up and left the living room, I’d only see more of her.

Coming into my room during a nightmare to make sure I was okay.

Sitting with Maya at bedtime, singing “Red River Valley.”

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