Page 26 of Hello Doctor

When we reached the back corner, Hayes handed us both helmets, then goggles. After we put them on, he gave me a bigger sledgehammer and Maya a smaller one. “Come with me.”

Maya had lots of questions, but Hayes stalled while he walked us to the car lot next door. Outside, he pointed at three rusted up vehicles. “You can use any of these. Okay?”

“Thanks,” I said.

He gave me a small, sad smile before patting me on the back and walking away.

“Tell me what we’re doing,” Maya said, no more room for questions. She leaned against her small sledgehammer on the ground.

I picked mine up, held it over my head, and then crashed it into the windshield of the closest car.

“Hey!” Maya said.

But I did it again, feeling my muscles work, the rebound of the hammer as it hit glass, hearing the shatter and crunch under metal.

“What are you doing?” she yelled.

I turned back to her, lifting up my glasses and kneeling in front of her. Her eyes were wide as she stared at me.

“Maya, I get it,” I said gently. “You’re eight years old and your mom and dad split up. Your dad works a lot. Your mom doesn’t call as much as she should. And you’re confused. You’re angry.”

Tears started forming in her eyes, telling me I was hitting the nail on the head.

“You have every right to be angry at what they did. You can be mad, pissed as hell that they didn’t stay together like they promised and that your life isn’t what you think it should be... But you’re taking it out in all the wrong directions.”

She tilted her head, and I reached up, brushed a piece of hair back over her shoulder.

“Parents aren’t perfect,” I said sadly. “They make mistakes. They break up sometimes. But you can’t push away the people that are here. The people that love you. So let’s be mad at these stupid cars and smash the hell out of them, okay?”

She sniffed then wiped at her eyes.

“You can do this,” I said. “You can get all your anger out. Right here, right now. And if you ever get angry again, we can always come back. Hayes promised me we could.”

“Really?” she asked.

I nodded. “I’m on your team, okay? You and me against this anger.”

She nodded, her little lips pursing together. And then she picked up her hammer and swung it as hard as she could at the side mirror. The glass shattered, and the plastic broke off the car, hanging on only by a few wires.

Grinning, Maya jumped up and down. “Did you see that?”

“I sure did!” I said. “Now beat the shit out of it!”

She didn’t even scold me for it. Just picked up her hammer and wailed away. She hit the car over and over again until her arms were shaking, and her breath came fast. And then she looked at the damaged car, her hammer dropping at her side.

“What is it?” I asked, looking at her. “Are you hurt?”

Tears streamed down her cheeks and she came to me, burying herself in my arms. “I’m sorry,” she cried.

“Oh honey...” I held her close, brushing my hand over her hair. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.”

“Why doesn’t my mommy love me?” she asked.

I held my breath. Some questions didn’t have answers. But I was going to try.

15

Fletcher

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