Page 28 of Hello Doctor

“But look at it.”

There was quiet, just the sound of a soft breeze playing through the short grass growing around all the cars.

“How much is it worth now?” Liv asked. “Could we take it to the store and buy a candy bar?”

After a moment, Maya said, “Yeah. We could.”

“You’re right,” Liv said. “You know you’re like this dollar?”

“I am?” Maya asked, her voice sounding small.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Was Liv telling my daughter she was damaged goods? I was about to get up, and confront her, but something held me back.

“You’ve gone through some hard times,” Liv said. The paper crumpling sound came again. “Your parents divorced.” She ripped the paper. “Your mom didn’t call.” She ripped it again. “A nanny quit.” Another rip. “And another nanny quit, and then another. And it really freaking sucked.”

I heard Maya sniffle, and my heart went out to her. I wanted to take her in my arms and protect her from all those things. But I couldn’t. I hadn’t.

“But no matter how many tears and crinkles this dollar has, it’s still a dollar. It still has value. It is still worth spending and still worth taking care of. You’ve got some rips and wrinkles and some hurts, Maya Madigan, but you are still a little girl. And that means you are worth loving and taking care of, no matter what. Do you understand?”

A small cry broke loose from Maya’s chest, and Liv said, “Come here, baby girl. I’ve got you. Always.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I pushed up from the car, walking back to Hayes’s shop.

When he saw me, he asked, “Everything okay?”

My voice sounded rough as I said, “I think it will be.”

But deep down, I wondered. Was I like that dollar? Or was I damaged beyond repair so no one, especially not Liv, could see the value in me?

Studying me and seeing a little too much, Hayes said, “Come on, let’s grab a beer.”

I glanced at the car he was working on. “I don’t want to interrupt your work more than I already have.”

“To me,” he replied, drying his hands off on a rag, “it looks like work is interrupting family time.”

He started back toward the office, and I followed him. He reached into a mini fridge in the corner and pulled out a couple beers, passing me one.

The liquid slid over my lips, tangy and cool then warming my insides. I took a breath and rolled the can in my hand. “I needed that.”

“I know,” Hayes replied.

“What do you think happened today?” I asked him.

“They didn’t say, but Maya looked like she was in a mood and Liv was on a mission.”

I chuckled. “That about covers the last couple weeks.”

Hayes looked up at me. “You’re lucky to have her, you know?”

“Liv’s been a lifesaver,” I agreed.

But Hayes shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong, Liv is great. I was talking about Maya.”

I looked up at him, needing to hear more. For the last several months, I’d felt like I was flailing, like I was being judged for Maya’s behavior. Hayes’s words... they were a life raft, and I hung on tight.

“When Mom died, I was just a little younger than Maya. I know I wasn’t easy for Dad. I probably acted out the worst of all of us. And one day after I ripped up Deidre’s flower beds for the hell of it, Dad took me out for a drive. I thought he was going to ream my ass. Tell me to shape up or he was shipping me off to military school.”

“Sounds like something Dad would say,” I agreed.

---