Page 69 of Hello Doctor

She knew something. “Did Rhett talk to you already?”

“He didn’t need to.” She opened the barn door and marched to the ladder leading to the upper floor, where we used to hang out as kids.

When we crested the top, it looked the same: hay stacked along the walls, a rope swing dangling from the rafter, plenty of dust and cobwebs. But this time was different, because Liv was staring at me with upset blue eyes.

“What is going on with you two tonight?” she asked. “You were so off in the car, and then Rhett barely acknowledged you when you got here. No one made a dumb joke or even smiled.”

My eyebrows rose. It depended on what he’d told her about our last appointment. If anything.

“You aren’t hiding anything,” she snapped. “So I’m going to ask you again. What happened between you two? And don’t you dare lie to me.”

My stomach churned. I couldn’t tell her about the skin test because of HIPAA. But there admittedly was some awkwardness between Rhett and me because of my growing feelings for Liv. I could be honest about that.

“Rhett had a talk with me,” I admitted. “About you.”

Her lips parted. “Me?”

I nodded, rubbing the back of my neck. We were adults. And in light of what I read on the report, Rhett’s protectiveness over his sister seemed so trivial in comparison. “He guessed that I had feelings for you.”

Her breath hitched, catching in her chest. “You have feelings for me?”

I nodded, slightly.

“He’s upset?”

“He doesn’t think I’m good enough for you.”

Confusion colored all of her features. “But you’re his best friend.”

“Which means he knows me better than anyone else.”

Her voice was gentle. “I’ve known you since we were kids, Fletch. There’s no one better than you.”

Each word was an axe to my heart. Because she thought I was a hero, and I needed to tell her the truth. “I’m not the guy you think I am.”

“Fletcher.” Her voice was breaking. “What is going on?”

I paced the weathered wooden floor beneath me. “You know Regina and I divorced, but do you know the reason we got together?”

She shook her head. “Because you liked her? Why does anyone get together?”

I scoffed, the sound rough on my throat. “I wish that was why.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I worked at the children’s hospital in the emergency room, I saw things I couldn’t unsee... Some people, they’re able to go home and leave work at work, but I couldn’t. I started having panic attacks, nightmares. I’d get mad for no reason and lash out. Stopped visiting my little brother Bryce when he was just twelve because I knew if I went home, I’d see all my patients in him. The only thing that helped was drinking and...” I shook my head, ashamed of how I used to be. “I used girls, sex, for a release, a distraction.”

If she was breathing, I couldn’t tell. She was just watching me. Waiting for me to tell her what a piece of shit I was. She would be right.

“I was a doctor. I should have been ready for it, should have fucking known to go to a psychologist and get some help, but everyone around me was fine. I thought I should be too. But one night at the bar turned into every night, and one hookup turned into more. Regina was one of the girls I slept with the most. After work, I’d get drunk, I’d take her home, and pretend I forgot about it all the next day.”

“Fletch, you were going through a hard time...” she said gently, giving me far more understanding than I deserved. I needed to crush that belief in me now, before it hurt us both even more.

“Regina kept hoping for me to turn our hookups into something more. But I couldn’t handle more because...”

“It kept you sane,” she whispered.

“But then she got pregnant.” I shook my head, ashamed of my first response to the pregnancy. “When I found out, I kicked her out of my house. I yelled, screamed, demanded a paternity test. I treated her like shit... And when I found out that Maya was mine, you know what I told her to do?”

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