Once we had all settled down, which was quite the accomplishment considering the amount of people in here, Maya said, “I’ve gathered you all for a presentation.”
“Presentation?” Fletcher asked his daughter. “Thought you were done with school for the week.”
“This isn’t school related,” she said, every bit as serious as her dad.
Then she turned on the TV, and I stared in horror at the words on the screen.
WHY HAYES SHOULD GET A GIRLFRIEND: A PRESENTATION BY MAYA AND EMILY
“Oh, hell no,” I said, already getting up from the couch. But Ford held me down. Damn him and his NFL training.
“Fine,” I muttered. “Let’s get this over with.”
Maya smiled evilly. “Great. Let’s get started.”
She moved to the first page of the presentation.
Exhibit One: Forever alone.
There was a group photo of our family from the reception where we celebrated the Super Bowl. Then she pushed the remote, and a circle formed around my head.
“Hayes is the only person in this photo who doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Maya said.
I opened my mouth to protest.
“Aside from Bryce, who needs to focus on his studies, and Grandpa, who’s denying his feelings for Agatha,” Maya said.
Fletcher gasped, while Agatha blushed bright red, and Dad covered his face. “Hey, I thought this was about Hayes!” he said.
Maya shrugged. “Two birds, Gramps.”
He shook his head at her.
“Moving on,” Maya said.
Exhibit Two: Think of the children.
There was a photo of all my nieces and nephew together in purple outfits.
“Knox got married to Larkin, and I got a really great cousin out of the deal,” Maya said and gave Emily a squeeze. “Do you really want to deprive us of lifelong friendships?”
I looked over at my brother Knox to see him hugging his wife. They did look awfully happy. How, with these little hellions, I was starting to wonder.
Maya passed Emily the remote, and she clicked it.
Exhibit Three: Aren’t you bored?
There was a collage of photos of my brothers and their families playing together, having movie nights, attending games.
“What do you do at night if you don’t have kids or a wife to play with?” Emily asked. “That sounds awfully boring to me.”
I muttered. “Trust me, I’m not bored.”
Ford elbowed my side.
“What?” Emily asked.
“Nothing,” I replied. “Let’s wrap this up.”