Page 37 of Niccolo

I faced him in the fast chess semi-final rounds in Copenhagen. I found him unpleasant from the very beginning.

He smirked and gave off an attitude that he considered this ‘fast chess’ thing a joke – but he would still do me the honor of being defeated by him.

Instead, I beathim.

I was thrilled, obviously. It was only speed chess, and not really a true test of our abilities. But it was a big feather in my cap to beat the reigning – and previously undefeated – Number Two player in the world.

The Dane was absolutely stunned.

Once I’d checkmated him, he stared down at the chessboard in mute horror…

And then he threw a fit.

When I put out my hand to shake, he angrily got up and stormed away.

I just thought he was like so many other men I’d faced over the years: garden-variety misogynists who couldn’t handle being beaten by a woman. Irritating but basically harmless.

That was, until I was about to play in the final match against a Russian.

Ten minutes before the game began, a bunch of tournament officials grimly interrupted and demanded to search my bag.

It was in a locker elsewhere in the facility. I was shocked at their demand, but I went along with it.

Inside my purse, they found a small handheld chess computer and a short chain of metal beads.

Anal beads, specifically.

Yes, really.

A few years before, a male player named Hans Niemann had played the world’s number one champion and won. Afterwards, he’d been accused of using wireless vibrating anal beads during a tournament to receive coded messages about how to counter his opponent’s moves.

Niemann brought a defamation lawsuit and settled out of court, but the damage to his career was incalculable.

And now I was being framed for the exact same thing.

Utterly, completely ridiculous.

When the officials pulled out the objects, I was stunned. I said I’d never seen them before.

When they accused me of cheating, I pointed out that I wasn’t using the damn things. They were in my purse and thus must have obviously been planted – probably by “a certain butthurt Danish grandmaster.”

Those were the exact words I used.

They made international headlines the next day.

Not only that, but I pointed out that using such things in speed chess would be beyond stupid. You wouldn’t have time to process any sort of information you got – the game went by too fast.

The officials ignored that obvious logic.

When they demanded I submit to an internal body cavity search, I angrily refused.

I told them to dust the handheld chess computer for fingerprints and do a DNA test on the beads. Then I would provide a saliva swab for a DNA comparison. If I’d actuallyusedthe beads, they could find out that way.

They said no.

When I refused to cave to their demeaning and ridiculous demands, they declared me a cheater and ruled all my previous victories in the tournament null and void –

Including my victory over the Danish grandmaster.

---