Page 1 of Free Fall

1

My brother had the Spring Hill blues.

I don’t know that I ever did. I was content living my life here, even if Spring Hill is a small town by anyone’s standards and we don’t have the greatest variety of things to do. I was the best in my class. I had great friends. My family was amazing.

I didn’t see that I was missing something.

Now, I do. Now, I’m definitely missing something, and the hole is greater than I ever imagined. Made worse because I know I’m never getting back that void no matter what.

So, yeah, my brother had the Spring Hill blues, and when he died, he passed them on to me.

I blink up at the school. The flags wave high out front above the main entrance door. The wind whips at them while I stare. Underneath, kids I’ve known all my life are walking through those doors, hurrying to get to their first class before the bell rings. I had no intention of being back at Spring Hill High for my junior year. In fact, my only plan was that I wasn’t going to be here. Maybe I would drive up the West Coast, the sea air tangling my hair. Maybe I’d hitchhike to Arizona and see the cool rock formations. Maybe I’d check out the East Coast for once. I didn’t care where I ended up as long as I wasn’t here—in Spring Hill. The place Brady couldn’t wait to leave.

I guess those blues are why I’m in trouble now.

I sense Jules next to me. I don’t even need to look up to know it’s her. First, because I’m barely on speaking terms with anyone else right now. And second, her sad vibes are as familiar as my own.

Jules is Brady’s girlfriend.WasBrady’s girlfriend.

“Hey,” she says softly.

“Hey,” I say back, mustering up all the excitement I can, which isn’t a whole hell of a lot. I sound like a fifty-something year old on his birthday while he’s going through a mid-life crisis.

It’s not a lot, but it’s all I’ve got.

“You ready for this?” she asks.

I can handle the walk into school, but what I can’t handle is living the rest of my life without my big brother. That’s the scary part. That’s the part that seems so wrong that nothing will ever be right again.

Jules nudges me. “Come on, Briar. You know he wouldn’t want this.”

I’m not going to be the petulant one and say something like,Yeah, well, he doesn’t really have a say anymore, does he?Even though those same words are on the tip of my tongue. I don’t know why it seems like I’m mad at him sometimes. I think I’m just mad at the world.

“I know,” I tell her. The thing is, I just can’t get my feet to move. I’m telling them to start forward, to take one step followed by the next and the next, but they aren’t cooperating. Jules nudges me again, giving me the momentum I need to finally take a step. Then, we start our slow, steady walk toward the main doors. There aren’t very many people in the parking lot anymore, so I’ve successfully avoided pretty much everybody at this point. Yes, school hasn’t even technically started, but this feels like a win to me.

But that’s where my day stops winning.

As soon as I walk through those doors, it feels like I get punched in the face. Jules runs into me from behind after I stop abruptly. I’m sure she’ll have the same reaction as me, but there’s no way for me to stop her from looking up, from seeing the banner already announcing Spring Hill football games. ThisisSpring Hill after all. This town is football through and through.

Jules grabs my arm, and for a moment, we hold each other upright, our gazes locked straight ahead. One step, the next, and the next. Eventually, we get to my locker, and I lean against it as if I’ve just run a marathon. My forehead rests on the cold steel. I try to slow my heartbeat, but I can feel my pulse right through my palm as it quivers on my neighbor’s locker.

“They’ve been up for a week,” Jules says. Her voice is still quiet. She’s so quiet now, sometimes it’s as if she doesn’t even know how to talk anymore.

“Hey, Jules,” someone says, calling out to her.

I’m still turned the other way, so I don’t know if she greeted the person with a wave or not, but I know she didn’t answer them. Believe it or not, Jules used to be a lot of fun. She wasn’t loud for the sake of being loud, but she was happy and didn’t mind sharing that with the world.

“I got to get to my locker,” she says finally after I don’t move.

I nod against the steel. “See you at lunch,” I manage to choke out.

With that, she’s gone. The air in here still feels stifling though. Maybe even moreso now that I’m by myself. There are shouts and laughter and just a thick tension layered in the air. People are excited. There isn’t much to be excited about in Spring Hill, but this is one of them. New school year. New football season. That about sums Spring Hill up.

“Miss Page?”

I carefully remove my forehead from the locker and look up at the school counselor. She’s young. She graduated out of Spring Hill exactly seven years ago. Just enough time to go get her degrees and then get hired back here. I envied her once for that. For applying herself, going to school, and then coming back to our perfect little town. Now, I think she’s an idiot. She had a way out. Hell, shewasout of here. She had her chance, but she blew it.

I try on a smile, but those things are as foreign to me now as pastel colors.

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