Page 13 of Free Fall

“Briar, come on,” Lex complains, but he follows me to my room anyway.

When we get there, I close the door behind us and dump my bookbag by the foot of the bed. “You knew about this last night, huh?”

When he doesn’t answer, I turn toward him. He’s leaning against my dresser. When he meets my eyes, he nods. “I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”

A smile plays over my lips. “I wonder what my parents would think if I said the only thing that makes me feel better is when Lex and I are together…alone?”

He shakes his head. “Don’t say that. You don’t even mean it.”

“I beg to differ. You know I mean it. How many times have you made me cry out your name now? In fact, I’m thinking you owe me big time for what just happened.” I stalk toward him, putting my hand on his chest and roam upward. I still for a moment when I feel his heart beating underneath chiseled muscles. His heart beats once, twice, then I move my hands around his pectorals. His skin is warm, even through his t-shirt.

“I’ve let everyone down, including you.”

“You haven’t let me down once, actually,” I tell him, my voice a little breathy. Lex is alive. He’s warm-blooded and breathing.

His hand closes around my wrist to stop my slow perusal of his massive chest. His brown eyes stare right through mine. It’s like he can see right through to my very core. A sliver of anxiety works its way up my spine at his next words. “I’ve let you down every day, and for that, I apologize.” He brings my hand up and kisses my knuckles before letting me go. “I’m not going to do it anymore.”

“Lex,” I say, emotion thickening my throat. “I don’t think you understand what you do for me.”

“I know you always leave the car crying, and that’s all I need to know.”

“I cry all the time now,” I tell him, dismissing his concern. I try to reach my hand up to touch his chest again. It feels so good to be this close to another human being.

He catches my hand before I make contact. “Call me crazy, but I don’t want someone I do that with to leave upset.”

I swallow. “So, I’m not good enough?”

“No, you’re not good enough,” he says, his voice clearly pained. He places his hands on either side of my face, his thumb trailing across my bottom lip. “You’re even better than that. You just have to start seeing it again.”

I move forward. His lips are calling me. The heat of the moment, the desire his touch raises inside me. My lips don’t even brush his before he’s angling away from me.

“I’m not going to hurt you anymore. That’s the last thing I want.”

My hand sneaks down, and I cup his semi-hard cock. He moans at the contact, and so do I. “I know you want this.”

My words break him free of whatever spell he was under. He pushes my hand away and moves to the other side of the room. “I can’t do this anymore, Briar. I know you don’t see it yet, but Iamhurting you. I won’t be showing up outside your house anymore. Okay?”

“Lex,” I say, amusement coloring my words, but then I can see how serious he is about this. He already has one hand on the doorknob. I nod. “This is what you wanted to say to me out in my intervention, huh? You wanted to tell me this is over and blame it on being for my own good, but shouldn’t I get a choice in this?”

“Not when you’re not thinking clearly.”

My jaw hardens at that remark. I cross my arms in front of my chest. “Fine. Get out. I’m sure I can find someone else who wouldn’t mind helping me.”

His eyes turn hard. “Briar.”

“No, it’s cool. I get it.”

“Briar,” he growls. “Sex isn’t helping you heal.”

“But it’s helping me forget!” I scream, losing myself in the fear of having to feel everything again.

His eyes widen, and I step back a few steps, shocked at the emotion that rocketed out of my body just now. I take in a few deep breaths to get myself back under control.

He starts to move forward, his hand outstretched, but I hold my hand up to stop him. “Just leave, Lex. I’m fine.” I smile, but it’s wobbly on my face. It’s obviously fake.

He looks like leaving is the last thing he wants to do, but there’s really nothing he can do for me.

“Bye, Lex,” I tell him. I turn my back and pull my bookbag onto the bed, acting as if I’m about to do homework.