Page 33 of Free Fall

He knows I can’t resist a good volleyball game. Brady used to tell me he was surprised I never took it up in high school. I could have. I was always just focused on my schoolwork rather than a sport. Reid holds his hand out and pulls me up when I take it. There are others walking toward the net too. A bunch of football players and some of their girlfriends. Every single one of them is from SHH. The last time I played volleyball here, it was a similar situation except Brady and Jules were playing too.

I take a deep breath, trying to relax into myself. Reid, Lex, and I end up on the same team while Cade ends up on the opposite side of the net. I fall into an easy rhythm when the game starts. Seeing the guys play another sport other than the one they excel at is comforting. They’re not bad, not by any means, but the fact that I can keep up with them is promising. We play the best of three games, and the team Lex, Reid, and I are on cream the other team. Mostly because it looks like Cade is preoccupied with trying to get into a Sophomore’s pants by the end of the day instead of on the game.

When we finish, it’s high fives all around. Even Reid gives me one, along with a smile. I almost forgot what he could look like when he wasn’t staring at me while pissed off. His look stops me in my tracks and throws me back in time. Maybe I always did have a soft spot for Reid Parker but kept it under wraps for the obvious reason that he was my brother’s best friend. Then again, I had a soft spot for all of them. They were my…friends.

Lex hovers in the background and then turns in the sand as he heads back to our towels. I head that way, too, but instead of stopping where our stuff is, I keep going. Reid is rubbing sweat off the back of his neck when I pass while Lex is digging around for a beer in the cooler next to us. I keep going until my toes hit the water. The waves splash over my feet and up to my ankles, dousing me. It feels so good that I keep walking. When the water is up to my waist, I dive in, swimming under the surface until it feels like my lungs might burst. I come up around the buoy line that separates the shallow area from the deep end. I slip under the line and set my sights on the diving platform. There’s only two other people out there at the moment, sunbathing.

I take my time, letting the water slip through my fingers before diving back under to swim, bubbles from my nose rising to the surface until my hands clasp onto the ladder. I heave myself out of the water and stand there. From here, the people on the beach are tiny. I can see Sasha and her friends who’ve avoided Reid all day. Looks like she wants to ignore him as much as he wants to ignore her. As I stand there, water sloshing off me, the two who were sunbathing decide to get up. I don’t recognize them from school, even though they look like they could be my age. They must be dating because they hold hands and jump into the water at the same time.

I move over on the platform to even it out. The waves from the couple diving in rocks the platform for a moment or two before it evens out again. Another figure has passed from the shallow area to the deep area, and it doesn’t take me long to figure out who it is. Before long, Lex appears at the base of the platform, pulling himself out of the water. His wide chest eclipses the ladder, making me laugh. He looks up, his head cocking to the side. His trunks slip lower and lower, so once he’s on the platform, he hikes them up and ties them again. He shrugs when he looks over at me. “I swear I could hear your mother in my ear telling me to make sure you were okay out here.”

The smile doesn’t leave my face. “I remember.”

After what happened between Lex and me, we haven’t talked much. Since we’re the only two out here, I take a seat on the platform, letting the sun’s rays shine down on me. I sprawl out, leaning back on the palms of my hands, and he mimics my stance, sitting next to me in the same position. “I’m sorry all that happened,” I say.

He must be thinking about the exact same thing. “Yeah,” he says, jaw working.

I reach out to pat his hand. “I miss talking to you, Lex.”

He looks over. Lake water is still dripping from his chin. It falls to his chest then traverses over the dips and hard planes of his abdomen until it slides right into his belly button. “I need to ask you something, Briar.”

“Okay…”

“Or tell you something. I don’t know. I guess I just need to get something off my chest. Something that doesn’t seem right.”

I cock my head at him.

His throat works for a second before he lifts his gaze to meet mine. His dirty blond hair is plastered to his forehead, giving him an almost boyish look. I swear we could throw ourselves back a decade and be in this same exact position. “Be careful around, Reid. He may look like he has everything together, but I—I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “I’m not sure he’s in the right head space right now.”

“You mean because he locked me in a room all night?” I tease.

“Yeah. Maybe,” he says, trying to smile.

This is different. These three—used to be four—were untouchable. No one would dare say shit about one to another or they’d have hell to pay. “He seems…angrier than I remember,” I say, almost whispering as if the lifeguard who is at least twenty yards away gives a shit about what we’re saying.

He shakes his head. “That’s not all I wanted to say either.” He shifts up, placing his elbows on his knees, letting his hands dangle out in front of him. “I want you to know I don’t regret anything we did. Not at all. I loved every second of it. What I do regret is that maybe you were doing it for the wrong reasons. Maybe that’s why it made you sad.” He runs a hand through his wet hair. When he looks over, he slides his hand over mine.

I don’t have the ability to speak right now. I want to. I can see the need for me to say something in Lex’s eyes, but nothing’s coming out.

I open my mouth, but Lex is quick to jump in. “Don’t say anything until you’re ready. You don’t owe me anything. You don’t owe anyone anything, so don’t think you have to start something with me because of guilt. Or shame. I don’t want that. I just wanted you to know how I truly felt about it.”

Lex stands. He looks down at me and gives me a half smile.

“Wait,” I say, just before he jumps in. “You—you like me?” Is that what he’s trying to say? I really wish he would spell it out for me.

He nods once, then dives into the water. He doesn’t come up again until he’s halfway to the buoy line, and even when he does, there’s still a stranglehold around my throat and my thought process.

The only thing that keeps whirring through my head is that Lexington Jones the Third just told me he likes me.

14

On Sunday, the guys must get sick of me because I spend the whole day at my house texting with Jules. Ezra still hasn’t responded to my pic even though I can tell he’s seen it. I agonize over what to do about it since things suddenly got awkward because of it. So, I end up messaging him that I was drunk, so he can delete the picture if he wants.

When Monday morning rolls around, I hear voices in the other room while I’m still lying in bed. I can pinpoint one voice intermixed with my mom and dad’s. It’s crazy that he’s here this early in the morning. Usually, he’d send someone else, like Cade, to do his dirty work, but not today. His voice rouses me, forcing my feet to the floor. He completely ignored me at the beach after I got in from the diving platform. In fact, he completely ignored everybody. It’s like his mood did a one-eighty, and when we left the lake, he dropped me home without a single word being said.

I had all day yesterday to think. I tried to read my textbooks, maybe even get ahead in class like I’m used to but going to the lake and then not having anyone to talk to right after about the mixed emotions flowing through me wasn’t great for my mental state. Coupled with the fact that Ezra never messaged me back and that Jules was surprised I’d went to the guys’ party, and I think hurt that I didn’t tell her, made me slide into a deep yearning for Brady—for normalcy. Not some place where I have to “pay” because I wore a jersey I picked out of a closet.

I don’t ever lock my door, but I walk toward my door now and flip the lock so Reid can’t get in. Let’s see how he likes being locked out instead of locking me in. Prick. There’s something wrong with his head if he thinks doing that is normal. Then, I go to my closet, yank the doors open, and peruse what I got. I settle on an old t-shirt of my dad’s that I used to sleep in. It’s big, baggy, and has the name of some band I’ve never heard of scrawled across the front. Then, I find a pair of black leggings and throw them on. To me, everything else just takes too much effort.

---