Page 41 of Free Fall

“Have you lost your freaking mind?”

She laughs, then pumps my hand a couple of times. “I think—I think your brother would want us to go, Briar. Let’s just go have a great time. I’m serious. We can do this. Especially on the backs of retail therapy. Come on, we don’t have much time.”

I shake my head at Jules as she climbs behind the wheel. We may have been forced together based on the fact that she dated my brother, but I’m not sure I could’ve picked out a better best friend myself.

Images of Reid, Lex, and Cade pop up, and my stomach twists in a high school crush kind of way. I have to grip the handle to the car door hard as realization sinks in. Brady left me with an amazing support group. I didn’t pick any of these people for my life, but they’re here anyway. And I’m right, I couldn’t have chosen better for myself if I tried.

17

Idon’t know how we pull it off, but we do. Jules and I look fucking fantastic. Newly purchased dresses, shoes we had in our own closets, and we decided to do each other’s hair and makeup because we were running out of time, but by the time we head out into my living room after getting all glammed up, we look seriously hot.

When we walk out, my mother does a double take. “Whoa, you two. You look great.” For the second time today, she insists on taking a picture, so Jules and I hug each other on the same wall Mom took Reid’s and my picture this morning. Though, this picture is way less awkward. “Have fun,” my mom calls out to us on our way out the door.

A niggle of excitement starts to spark in my lower stomach. It’s been a long time since I’ve been excited about anything, but I can’t help myself. Remembering how Lex and Cade treated me last year makes me want to go this year despite the fact that I’ll probably be missing my brother more than anything. Maybe I can spin it and remember how much fun we had last year instead of thinking about losing him.

Jules parks in the parking lot as a bunch of students make their way into the school in droves. It looks like we got here just in time for the dance to start. We link arms and walk in. The gym is bright with purple and yellow streamers and balloons. In the center of the gym stands the football team. They’ve gathered together in a cluster, all of them still wearing their suits from school today and flanked by our school colors. They look like a posh pack of athletes, easy enough to distinguish from the rest of the male classmates who’ve decided to go a little less fancy for this dance.

Reid is in the center of everything. It might be his height that makes him stick out initially, but he just has a way about him, like hot guy sonar that immediately draws attention. Of course, after I see him, my stomach twists because there’s a Grade A Bitch hanging off his arm, smiling and laughing like nothing happened between them at the party the other day.

My teeth immediately grind together. He’s an asshole. Seeing him with her makes me feel like a toy he’s been playing with on the side. Sure, he doesn’t really have anything to defend himself for. We didn’t actually take it too far, but there were definite moments of connection. There’s something here. And the way he got so fucking jealous over Lex liking me?

I tried to talk myself out of the fact that Reid Parker might have a thing for me, but maybe part of me hopes he does. From the way I feel right now, I can tell I secretly held a candle for him, which just makes me feel so fucking stupid because the sight in front of me screams the opposite.

I hesitate while Jules keeps walking. My elbow around hers makes her stop. She follows my gaze and frowns. When she turns back to me, her face drops. “I knew you liked him, Briar. You should stop trying to fool yourself and go after what you want.”

I shake my head. “Yeah, and risk being torn down again by the most popular guy at school? I don’t think so. I have enough on my plate to worry about this year.”

Jules looks me straight in the face, eyes commanding my attention. “You know Reid’s a good guy.” The look I give her tells her I’m not so sure of that, but she keeps talking anyway. “Think about how much we’re suffering. Don’t you think he’s probably suffering, too? He’s probably confused and lost, and Sasha is just there. She always has been. Old habits are hard to give up.”

Earlier, my subconscious reminded me that Reid’s birthday is tomorrow. I wasn’t allowed to go out with my brother and the guys for his annual party before. Now that it’s coupled with the football game, I’m sure they’ll be doing some major partying after the game tomorrow, especially if they win. It’s weird that no one’s mentioned his birthday yet though. Then again, their practices have been crazy difficult to prepare for the important game. They are missing one of their most important players after all.

My eyes flick over the rest of the people surrounding Reid. Lex is there, of course. He’s looking especially sharp and swaying side to side with the music. As far as Cade goes, he always just has this swagger that draws people in. I must’ve repressed the idea of my brother’s best friends being so freaking hot out of respect for my brother. It isn’t as if I never noticed how good looking they were, but I knew there could never be anything between us, so I shoved it down until I only saw them as good friends. And yes, maybe I have—and had—a sort of brotherly affection for them too.

Those three guys would do anything for me. I know that now more than ever. I may not agree with their tactics, especially Reid with his caveman type style of “just do what I say, or I’ll make you do what I say”, but that’s just the way he is. And now, standing back from all that, I have to admit that it’s a little hot. In a way. A weird way, possibly.

“Are we just going to stand here all night?” Jules asks. “We look really good, so we should try to enjoy some of it.”

I cock my head at her. Jules is in no way ready to start dating again, and I honestly don’t think that’s her intention here either. Forgetting for a bit, maybe. Hell, I can relate to that. I just hope she doesn’t do something she’ll regret.

She gives me a small tug on my hand, and I relent. We walk toward the huge circle of football players and step inside. After Brady died, it felt weird to do this, but now I know it’s not. It was dumb to try to fight it. I belong with these guys. Not as a fangirl outsider who drools over them like over half the girls in the school, but as friends at the very least. And whether or not anything comes from these new feelings that are sprouting, they’re still my people.

“Sexy ladies,” Cade says as soon as we make our appearance. There’s a hip-hop song on with a hard beat. He dances over to us, fake grinding in the way only he can do. He accomplishes what he set out to do, though, he gets us moving, laughing, and enjoying ourselves.

In all my life, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so carefree as I do in this moment. There are so many thoughts and feelings that want to try to anchor me down, but for tonight, I’m determined to put a brave and happy face on for Jules. We dance together, uncaring if anyone looks at us funny or wonders what the hell we’re doing. Maybe that comes from the knowledge that the worst thing has already happened, so what else could possibly go wrong? Oh, someone thinks we look stupid? Who freaking cares?

There’s more than one pair of discerning eyes on me though. I ignore them as best I can. I don’t engage with either Lex or Reid. One of the football players steps behind Jules to try to dance with her, and she locks up. Cade immediately comes to the rescue, hip checking his teammate out of the way before I can even say anything. I’m sure whatever was going to come out of my mouth was a lot harsher than Cade moving him along. My dark-haired friend looks up and winks at me. A part of me melts inside. For him to notice what happened, he had to have been paying attention. People can say whatever they want about Cade sleeping around, but he’s a genuinely good person. So what if he likes sex? What people our age don’t?

“Decided to come out of the goth phase?”

My stomach sinks as I look up into Sasha’s twisted gaze. She’s so conniving and evil. Her eyes are almost black, and I’m not just saying that for effect. It’s true.

She leans over. “I’ve heard whispers about you and Reid. It’s never going to happen, Skank. I have him by the balls.”

“How endearing,” I counter. “I’m sure he gets all kinds of turned on with that dirty talk.”

Her eyes flash. “Just know that while he’s playing Save the Princess for you, he’s in my bed at night.”

Not every night, I think. But I’m not going to throw Reid under the bus. Sasha definitely isn’t worth my time.

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