Page 43 of Free Fall

I look over and see that Cade is already dancing with Jules, even though there’s about three feet between them and it looks awkward as fuck, almost like they’re at a middle school dance.

When I look back at Lex, he’s still staring at me. He leans down, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. It’s like he’s thanking me for asking him. I blink after he pulls away. I was so not expecting that. Then, he leads me further into the circle near where Cade and Jules are dancing and holds me to him, his hands around my waist. His thumbs make tiny circles against the fabric of my dress, making my nerves pitch higher and higher. I start with my hands on his shoulders, but then I wrap my hands around his neck as we turn in slow circles.

My gaze happens to lift at the same time I’m facing Reid and Sasha. Reid’s glaring our way while Sasha has her head leaned away across his shoulders. His stare is hard, and it makes me swallow some guilt down. Lex said nothing would come between him and Reid, but why does it feel like he’s lying to me? At least from Reid’s point of view because he seriously looks like he could kill Lex right now and be okay with it.

I turn away from Reid. Lex holds me closer to him. I’m betting it’s because he felt the slight difference in my posture, from relaxed to stiff, while meeting Reid’s gaze. He rubs my back for a moment then settles back on my hips, but I still can’t get Reid’s gaze out of my head.

18

The day starts out with a group text from Reid that includes Jules and me, and Lex and Cade. He’s telling Jules and I that he secured a place for us to sit, front and center, in the stands tonight during the homecoming game. It’s roped off, apparently.

I nibble on my lip while reading it. My parents have decided not to come, which is fine. To each their own. Jules seems excited for it, so even if I didn’t want to go, I’d go to support her. Us girls have to stick together. But the main reason why his text has me on edge is because I know I need to tell him happy birthday, but I also don’t want to do it through text. That seems like a copout. I also don’t want him to think I forgot about him.

I go back and forth on it all morning, sometimes picking my cell up to just send him a text already, but then putting it back down without a word being written. We may not agree on the way Reid got me out of my funk, but I know his heart was in the right place. I mean, I’m pretty sure it was. With Reid, it’s a fifty-fifty chance, but I like my odds.

Deciding I’ll tell him in person, I get myself ready for the game. Since the guys are busy, my dad drops me off at the school. He blows out a breath when he sees the line of cars and the pop of purple and yellow as people make their way to the small stadium. “You could come,” I suggest.

He shakes his head. “I’m waiting for your mother.” He looks over at me, a small smile spreading his lips. “I’m…really proud of the way you’ve turned around lately, Briar. I know it’s not easy since we lost Brady, but I think you’re headed in the right direction. Finally.”

I smooth my SHH t-shirt down, avoiding his eyes. “Thanks, Dad.” I could tell him I’m sorry for running away. I could apologize to him for a lot of things, but I’m not sure I actually am sorry for them. Not a lot of people would understand, but it felt like I needed to do those things. “I’m working on it.”

He rubs my shoulder briefly, then I get out of the car. I walk toward the field by myself after shooting Jules a quick text that I’ll wait for her by the main gate. My phone buzzes in my pocket. Thinking it’s a response from Jules, I pull it out. It’s not. It’s a message from Ezra. Finally.Sorry. I’ve been crazy busy. You’re fucking hot.

I narrow my eyes at the message. It took him that long to respond, andthat’swhat he said. I shake my head. I’m thinking it was definitely stupid to try to meet Ezra in Calcutta, but I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t like the time away from everything. I know I worried everyone to death, but while I was there, by myself, I was able to work a lot of things out in my head, too. I don’t know. Maybe that’s one thing I could thank Ezra for. It’s certainly not going to be him telling me that I’m “fucking hot” weeks after I sent him a tittie pic.

Jesus. What the fuck was I thinking? I blame it on the booze. And on wanting to just feel like someone liked me. It’s stupid and, yeah, maybe a little shallow, but losing Brady left a big hole in my heart, and I have to fill it up somehow. At least, that’s what I’m beginning to understand.

While I’m waiting for Jules to show, I see the guys exit out of the locker room. I run over to the path they always take to get to the field, the same one I actually ran myself when Reid took me out of detention. A few of the guys greet me as they run past, but I’m waiting for one in particular who has a birthday message coming to him. Cade approaches me first. His eyes are glassy, taking me a little off-guard. He throws his arms around me, which is slightly uncomfortable with all the pads he has on. I squeeze him tight, matching the ferocity of his hug, and it reminds me of when Brady used to hug me while he was still in his gear. “Hey, Shortie. Thanks for coming.”

“Where else would I be?” I say, trying to keep myself in check. I don’t know what they have in mind for dedicating the game to him, but I’m hoping I can get through it without waterworks.

He pulls away and cups my cheek. “I haven’t said this to your face yet, but I’m really proud of you. I…uh…can’t imagine what it’s like, and all in all, you were— You just— Fuck.”

I laugh at that, and he looks at me with his deep brown eyes mixed with shards of black that match his hair. “I know,” I say to him.

He leans over and kisses me on the cheek.

I blink when he runs away from me. The spot where he kissed tingles, but I can’t dwell on that fact because Lex is in front of me. He pulls my hands up and kisses my knuckles once on each hand. He smiles then. “Remember when we used to call you our lucky charm?”

My smile grows bigger at the memory. It started when they were in middle school. I happened to be watching them practice once when Reid threw this amazing pass to Brady. It was super long, and Brady caught it effortlessly. After celebrating in the end zone like a bunch of middle school kids, they turned toward me, insistent that it was all my doing because Reid had never thrown a pass that far yet, and Brady hadn’t made a touchdown off a Hail Mary before either. They explained to me after that that I was expected at all their games, home or away. No excuses. It was fun at the time. It made me feel special. “Yeah, I do,” I tell him. They haven’t called me that in years, but the memory, instead of making me sad, makes me smile.

He runs his thumb over my lower lip. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” I tell him, and I know in my heart I’m not lying. There really is no other place I’d rather be right now. “Good luck, Big Man,” I tell him, using the phrase I coined around that same time.

After Lex runs away, Reid is next. He saunters up to me after patiently waiting his turn. I feel like things are a mess between us right now. I don’t know quite how to feel when I look at him. Turned on? Conflicted? But I do know what I want to say to him. “I came over here because I wanted to tell you happy birthday.” I tack on a smile when I look up at him.

His eyes widen. “You remembered my birthday?”

I shrug. It’s not like I haven’t been celebrating it with him for years. He shouldn’t be that surprised. “Well, yeah. Of course.”

His chest inflates in front of me. The shoulder pads he has on makes him that much bigger than me. He has black lines under his eyes to help keep the sun out while he reads the field during plays. “We’re all celebrating tonight, whether we win or lose,” he tells me. “You and Jules should come. It feels…better when you guys are there.” I nod. I know what he means. He starts to turn away, but he stops himself. “Thanks, Briar.” His gaze drags over me, setting my skin on fire.

His throat works. He shifts away, then back to me. He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, but a throat clears behind him. We both look back and see Coach Jackson waiting there.

“Sorry, Coach,” he says immediately before taking off and running onto the field.

I give Coach Jackson an apologetic smile and go to turn away from him, but he stops me. “Briar,” he calls out. When I shift back to him, he says, “I was actually waiting to talk to you.” I stand up straight, not knowing what’s going to be said, but wanting to be prepared for anything he might say. “Reid told you that we’re doing a little something for Brady at the beginning of the game. I wondered if you could follow me, so you can accept the dedication?”

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