Page 51 of Free Fall

He stares at me, taking in every little nuance of my face. “When your brother first told me he didn’t think you and I were a good idea, I had a brief thought about sneaking around with you, but I didn’t think it would be worth losing my friendship with Brady over. After that kiss, it would’ve been fucking worth it. Worthanything.” He plays with my hair again, tangling the darker tresses in his fingers. “What stopped me is that you never gave me any indication that you felt the same way. No lingering looks. No flirtations. Not anything.”

He implores me with his green eyes like he needs me to put an end to his suffering over this one point. Reid Parker doesn’t look like the star quarterback right now. He’s tense and unsure. He needs me right now instead of the other way around.

I give him a small smirk. “I’ve been wondering what world I was living in not to notice that my brother’s three best friends were super hot. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t because there’s no way Brady would’ve let me hang out with you guys if I was always drooling over one of you.”

Reid’s face temporarily pinches, but he brushes it off in the next second. He studies me, taking me in like I’m a world-renowned painting. “You’re fucking perfect.” His fingers tease over my collarbone, move to the center of my chest to trace down my cleavage, and stop just above my belly button. “I wish this whole party would fall away, and then it could be just you and me. I’d get you naked right here on this dock.”

I peek around. There are people everywhere outside the house. Some are even wading into the water at the base of the dock we’re standing on. We’re nowhere near being alone, but I can’t pretend my heart doesn’t skip a few beats at his words. “Mmm, voyeurism.”

He shakes his head. “Not my style. No one gets what I have, not even a look.”

It suddenly makes sense why he gets so upset with Sasha. I thought the whole stripping for him thing was stupid myself because who wants to see her strip tease? But it went beyond that for Reid. He’s territorial, which is probably why he punched Lex when he found out about us. I swallow. “You can’t fight with Lex anymore.”

Shadows cross over his face. “You have no idea how much I want to throttle him for touching you.”

“It wasn’t his fault.”

“Funny. He told me it wasn’t your fault. He says he took advantage of you while you were grieving. He feels sick about it.”

I shake my head. “It was a mutual decision, but neither of us was in our right minds. I just wanted to forget. Don’t…don’t tell him that though.” The last thing I want to do is hurt Lex.

Reid kisses my forehead. “He already knows, baby.” He keeps his lips there, eyes closed. “He told me it wouldn’t work between you two. Not that he wasn’t hell-bent on trying.”

“It wasn’t one of my finer moments,” I confess. Shame washes over me at the fact that he and I did that. “Lex is too nice. He didn’t…” I trail off. I don’t know exactly where to go with that. “If I’d known he actually liked me, I wouldn’t have done any of that.” I blow out a hard breath. “Which I guess makes me sound like the skank Sasha keeps telling me I am.”

Reid turns my head toward him. “The fact that you’re questioning whether it makes you sound easy means you’re anything but.”

I let that sink in, but I only half believe him. I think Reid Parker would pretty much do or say anything to make me feel better.

22

The next few weeks are a blur of schoolwork, football games, and Reid’s kisses. We’ve only ever gone as far as some heavy makeout sessions. Hell, we did more when I didn’t know he liked me like this. It’s been frustrating, but what Brady said must’ve gotten into his head because it’s not like I haven’t been ready and waiting for more.

Things with Lex are fine even though we try not to be affectionate in front of him. Hell, we aren’t affectionate at all in school. Jules still doesn’t know what’s going on, and I think, in a way, Reid is trying to save me from all the Sasha shit, so the only time we have together where we can act like a couple is when he comes to pick me up in the mornings or if either one of us ends up at the other’s house after practice.

After pulling my grades back up to where they were in Freshman year, I’ve been begging my parents for a car. It’s been pretty much non-stop, but I feel like they’re giving in. It’s a Monday morning, and Reid hasn’t gotten here to pick me up yet, so I sit down with Mom and Dad for breakfast. Things seem more comfortable around here now that I feel like a human being again. “So…” Dad starts, his usually punchy early morning voice a bit reserved. My ears perk up, hoping this is the part where he tells me they’re going to take me car shopping, but the conversation doesn’t go that way at all. “Your mom and I have decided to go away for a little while. A couple’s retreat.”

I tilt my head at them. They’re both making their morning coffees. Even though I absolutely love the smell of coffee, I just can’t bring myself to drink it. I think it was all that talk about it stunting my growth when I was younger. “Yeah?” I ask, surprised at the sudden turn of events. We’ve only ever gone on family vacations before.

“For a week or so,” Dad explains. He comes down to sit at the table with me while I eat my Cheerios. “Now that it looks like you’re finally back on track, we’d just like to take a little time for ourselves.”

“If you don’t mind,” Mom tacks on.

She’s swirling the creamer in her coffee, but her eyes are plastered to mine. “No…I don’t mind,” I say. Listen, I know what it’s like to need something after someone’s gone from your life, and I think if my parents need this time, they should take it. No questions asked.

Mom looks a little relieved at my statement. Now that I look at her, she has more lines by her eyes than she ever had. “We’re hesitant to leave you here.”

“I’ll be fine,” I tell them, trying to relieve any worries they have about doing this for themselves.

“Not just that, but physically leaving you here alone,” Dad says, clarifying my mother’s statement.

“Oh,” I say. I didn’t really think about that. I look around the house we’ve lived in my whole life. It will feel so empty without them here now that Brady’s gone. “Um…”

“We were thinking,” Dad says. “You can try to stay here if you want. It’s a lot of trust that we’re willing to give you because of how well you’ve been doing recently. Or, if you’re not up to it, we’ll talk to the Parkers to see if you can stay there. I know you’ve always gotten along really well with Mrs. Parker.”

This should probably be the moment where I tell my parents that I kinda, sorta, might be dating Reid Parker, but I’m certainly not opening my mouth about that right now. “Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, I’ve stayed there before,” I say, trying to sound calm, even though on the inside I’m bursting at the seams.

Mom frowns. “I just hate to impose on the Parkers again,” she says. “Reid has been so good to Briar since Brady… Since Brady,” she says with finality. My mother’s words have piqued my interest. Could I have been that self-absorbed not to notice that my mother can’t even bring herself to say that her son’s dead?

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