Page 55 of Foul Line

He captures my lips again, this time a steady and fierce possessiveness that’s just the right amount of push and pull. He gives as much as he takes.

Nighttime wakes up around us. The colder air breezes in. The night owl insects wake up. They chirp and buzz, and it sounds like they’re all cheering us on with a long sigh of “It’s about time.” I slow the kiss, burning the memory of it into my brain before I pull away. I lean back on his thighs and reach up to brush a hand over his cheeks. He’s flushed with want. With a small smile, I say, “I can’t do this right now, Ryan.”

His jaw ticks, and I think that’s the last thing he thought I’d say.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him while extracting myself from him. I manage to flop back behind the wheel not so delicately.

Ryan runs a hand through his hair. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. This is all my fault. I’m the one who keeps pushing you away.”

We both just sit there, staring outside the car as the moon begins its reflection over the lake. Once the mosquitoes show up, I push the button so the top comes back up, enclosing us in the car. “Did you mean what you said about me having a shot at overall MVP?”

“You’re just as good as any one of us, Tessa.”

It’s crazy, but the fact that Ryan Linc is acknowledging that, pride seeps into me. It shouldn’t matter what he thinks, but for some reason, it always has to me. I lean on the seat facing him. “Can I ask you something?”

He nods, finally looking over at me.

“My dad thinks I should make a bet with Lake. He says I should bet him that if I win shooting guard MVP, he has to leave me alone from now on.”

His eyes widen. “What if he wins?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I guess that would be up to him.” When he doesn’t say anything else, I ask, “What do you think? You made an agreement with him before. Do you think he would do it with me?”

“I think he’d take that bet,” Ryan says. “But I also think you should be worried about what he’d want you to do if he won.”

“I figure he’d probably ask me to leave you guys alone. That seems like what he wants.”

“Are you willing to take that bet?”

I bite down on my lip. “I would if I thought I could win.”

Ryan scratches his jaw then wipes the back of his hand over his mouth. “I can ask him about it if you want.”

“Maybe. Can I ask you something else? I just really have to know, Ryan. I’ve heard it from the others, but…why do you guys put up with him?”

“He’s my best friend.”

“It’s just insane,” I say, my fists clenching in front of me.

His gaze narrows. “We all have a history, right, Tessa? A secret? Like it being hell in your house right now without your dad. Something you haven’t come right out and told everyone. What if Lake had the same thing?”

“I’m not sure whatever it is could excuse everything he’s done.”

“I guess that’s for outsiders to judge.”

“Well, are you going to tell me what it is?”

He shakes his head right away. “No. It’s not for me to say.”

“I don’t think I can ever forgive him.”

Ryan looks away. “I’ll never ask you to.”

I dribble my fingers over the steering wheel. “Right. Well, I suppose we should head back.” I put the car in Reverse, and back all the way out of the short path until I hit the main road again. My dad brought me fishing there once before I was even invited to camp. It was probably the only time we ever went fishing period, and I have no idea why he even thought it was a good idea. Fishermen we are not. It’s the whole waiting for something to happen aspect that blows. Kind of like my entire season where I rode the bench. Not fun.

My headlights light up the road as we drive back to camp. Ryan and I must be stuck in our own little worlds because neither one of us speaks. Maybe it’s because we don’t really know what to say to one another. I basically just told him I wasn’t ready to start something with him again. Trust me, my body is ready. As he’s pointed out in the past, I’m always ready for him, but my body and my mind aren’t reconciled. They’re on completely different pages at the moment, especially since our parents are a thing now, which makes it almost taboo to think of Ryan like that even though I’ve been thinking about him like that longer than my dad has even noticed Leslie is alive.

I remember a time when he only had eyes for my mom. She was the first one he wanted when he got off the court. The first one he would call after an away game. He used to send her postcards when he was gone of every single city he went to. My mom still has them stashed somewhere. That is, if she hasn’t thrown them all away lately. Maybe she won’t want the mementos after what her relationship with him turned out to be.

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