Page 71 of Foul Line

On the night before the last day, I take a card around to everyone and have them sign it. The messages the players have left in there are beautiful. It fills me with pride to know that my dad has affected so many people in such a positive way. No, he’s not perfect. Far from it. But in this one sliver of his life, he truly is great. He’s pushed boundaries, he’s helped those less fortunate than him, and he’s always giving back. My father truly cares about all the players at this camp, so when I present him with the card and make a speech, he’s truly humbled. My dad’s not the crying type, but his eyes get glassy as he stands up to give a speech of his own. “No matter what happens tomorrow, you’re all winners. The amount of growth I’ve seen over the past weeks is astounding. For some of you, this is your last year.” His voice breaks then, and heat swims in the back of my eyes. “I wish I could have you all stay. Some of you have been with me for years. But I also know that there are a lot of players just like you out there that also need my help. The end of camp is always bittersweet. It’s saying goodbye to the players moving on to the next part of their lives, and it’s thinking ahead to the young ones I’ll be inviting next year. That new, fresh potential. There’s one thing that I see in everyone’s eyes no matter if it’s their last year or their first though. It’s hunger. I promise you if you keep that hunger, that drive, you will go far. Never lose it. All the coaches in this room can attest to that.”

As he’s talking, I’m dreaming about making him so proud tomorrow. I want this more than anything. Lake and I happen to look at one another at the same time as my dad sits. His cold eyes seem to reach out and clasp ahold of me. He doesn’t let me go for the longest time, and when he does, it’s almost as if he’s dismissing me. I’ve had a long time to think about Lake O’Brien this year at camp. I’m sorry for the troubles he’s had to face, but that doesn’t mean he gets to have free reign over me and anyone else. It’s just such a shame that someone with so much talent is a prick.

Hayes leans over. “I have faith in you tomorrow.”

I shrug. “I’ve pretty much done all that I can do. It’s up to how everyone sees it now.” I gave it my all and I know Lake has given it his all. I honestly can’t say how I think it’s going to go down. Like the coaches said last week when they put us on the same top spot, it’s anyone’s for the taking. The only thing I hope they don’t decide is that we should share the top spot. I would rather come in second than share anything with him.

The last dinner breaks up. Sloan stands from his seat on the other side of Hayes and waltzes over to put his hands on my shoulders. He kneads my skin, and I bite down on my lip as he presses into my sore muscles. I hope Mom will take me on our annual trip to the spa after I get home. “It’s time for our annual bonfire,” he says.

I look behind me. “Annual bonfire?” I’ve never been invited to any annual bonfire.

He shrugs. “It’s a tradition.”

I turn right back around. It sucks that I’ve been excluded from these things in the past. Part of me doesn’t want to take part in it this year either, but the look Lake is leveling at me right now pushes me over the edge. “Sounds great,” I say, smiling at him. At least if I don’t win tomorrow, I can make his life miserable tonight.

By the time I meet them an hour later on the beach, I’m so hyped up for tomorrow I don’t know if I’ll even be able to sleep tonight. I tried so many different hairstyles in my hair just to pass the time, but eventually, I just wear it straight down. I have my hoodie around my waist as I walk out in a pair of capris and an RHS shirt. The situation is pretty much identical to the bonfire the lacrosse players had except for I know these guys more. I know why Ryan is sitting next to Lake. I know why Sloan is checking his phone, and I know why Hayes is the first to get to his feet and meet me where the grass turns to sand.

When he pulls me to the sand, sandwiched between him and Sloan, we easily break into a conversation about camp over the years. The guys dig each other about things that happened in the past that I wasn’t privy to. That is, until Lake brings up Ryan pretending to like me. His words don’t sting anymore though. I know the truth. Ryan did like me. Ryan does like me. And I know that Lake saying that is just trying to hold onto the past when I’m the Ballers’ future. I let it roll off my back and not caring who’s there to hear it, I say, “At least he was my first kiss though.”

Lake almost gags. If he wasn’t trying to be an asshole to me all the time, I honestly think we could get along. It’s not possible. He’s made it clear he hates my guts for reasons unknown to me, but when he’s just talking with his friends, I think he can be a decent guy with a funny sense of humor.

“I was your first kiss?” Ryan asks.

When I look over at him, the small smile on my face fades. He swallows, waiting for my answer. I shrug in response. “I was just coming out of eighth grade.” Should I have been kissing by then? I don’t know. All the guys at the private school that fed into Broadwell were obnoxious. Ryan was nothing like them.

Lake elbows him in the ribs, and I know what he’s thinking. He’s thinking Ryan gave me a fake first kiss. He didn’t. It was real, just like the feelings pulsing between us all these years later. No matter how hard Lake tries, he can’t take it away.

Thankfully, Sloan diverts the conversation after that, but the way Ryan stares at me for the rest of the night, I think he’s still stuck on that fact. Eventually, the time for curfew comes, and none of us wants to test the boundaries and have our top rankings stripped just because we wanted to stay out a little while longer.

Ryan looks at everyone around the fire, locking gazes with us each individually. That’s when I miss Alec the most. He’s supposed to be there. “May the best man win tomorrow,” he says.

“Or woman,” I say with a smile.

He nods. “May the best person win.”

Right there in that moment, even Lake doesn’t balk. That feeling of being a part of something drenches me in a warmth I hold close. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but as of right now, it feels like I’m accepted, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

34

Something’s not right.

The morning went as normal. I stayed in my room packing everything that I’ve used over the past few weeks, getting everything ready for the presentation of the awards. The only thing is, instead of being herded into the main building one last time, we’re being led out to the outdoor courts. The weather is beautiful today. There’s a slight breeze that keeps the heat at bay and tickles the tiny hairs at the base of my neck.

When we get there, my father is standing in the middle of the court, his hand around a ball. He’s smiling, but it’s not a full-on smile. It just kind of lingers there. “Thanks for coming, everyone. I’m going to hand out the awards we have ready here, but then I’m going to need your assistance in handling one small thing.”

I shift from foot to foot, my shoulder bumping into Hayes who’s looking on at the scene with a perplexed expression.

“As you guys have seen, there’s been one position that the coaches have been having a difficult time deciding on who should take the top spot. As it concerns my daughter, I haven’t been involved.” I take in a deep breath that fills my chest and then release it slowly as my father keeps talking. “The coaches and I have discussed that the only true way to pick a winner in the shooting guard position is to have a head-to-head game between Lake O’Brien and Quintessa Dale. I want to reiterate that this was the other coaches’ decision and that as long as Lake and Tessa agree, the player who scores five points first will take home the award and the scholarship money of one thousand dollars. Tessa?”

My dad looks at me expectantly, but I’m still trying to sort through everything. I didn’t win. At least not yet. I look toward Lake whose face is glowing red. He looks indignant, like he thinks he should’ve won outright. “Sounds good to me,” I say, keeping my eyes peeled on my opponent.

“Lake?” my dad says, moving to stare at him. My dad’s jaw ticks. He’s mad I didn’t win outright either. He knew all about the agreement we all made, minus the drug part. He knows what’s at stake for me here.

“Fine,” he shrugs. “I’ve beaten her before.”

My lips thin. He has beaten me before, but I’ve also beaten him. And, he’s forgetting that the last time he beat me, he cheated like a little bitch. This time, I won’t let that happen. I quick check to see what bra I put on that morning. When I see it’s a sports bra, I walk forward and take my shirt off, throwing it to the side. Sloan intercepts it and folds it, throwing it over his shoulder with a wink. I’d smile, but I’m both excited and pissed that we have to go through this. As far as I know, this hasn’t happened before.

The other coaches clap. I start to limber up on the sidelines while the other MVP awards are given out. Ryan, Hayes, and Sloan all win for their respective positions. I clap for each of them, trying to ignore Lake on the other side of the court prepping just like me. His brother is in his ear, and even now, it hits me hard that I’m all by myself.

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