Page 42 of Beautiful Soldier

I turn in my seat, reaching out to set my hand on his thigh. “And you will tell me someday, but you know me. I’m tough and resilient. Your dad won’t break me. He can’t.”

The look Johnny throws my way says he believes otherwise, but I know what I’m made of. You don’t do what I’ve done to cower at someone’s feet when the time comes.

“Listen,” I try again. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you, so don’t worry about me during the meeting. I’m not saying a thing unless he asks me something directly.” Which actually works for me anyway, considering every time I’m in his presence, I want to gouge his eyes out...or my own.

Being around my guys is easier now that I don’t have to hide my distaste of Big Daddy K. Not that I’m going to up and tell Johnny I plan on murdering his father soon, but I also don’t have to watch everything I say. It’s completely normal to hate your boyfriend’s abusive father. I shudder to think about what he’s had to endure his whole life.

Fuck abusers. All they do is start a long line of abuse—mentally and physically. I’m not saying everyone learns the behavior, but it can be learned, and it does perpetuate. Take Johnny, he struggles with it. I now understand his reaction when he threw me against the wall outside the clothing shop. No, it doesn’t make what he did right. It never will. I’m just saying I understand where he got it, and I can see the connections in his mind that he’s made that he can be better than that. Heisbetter than that.

The block the tower sits on looms ahead. As we get closer, I tilt my head to gaze up at the building. Despite the fact that I know I was in this vibrating building the other day, it looks fine. No cracks in the exterior. No missing walls or crumbled rock on the sidewalks. It withstood a fucking bomb.

“I’m positive it’s safe to head back inside,” Johnny says, noticing my stare. “I would never bring you back if I thought differently.”

“I know,” I reassure him. “I’m just shocked the building can withstand what they threw at us.”

“It was made that way. Plus, they were amateur bombs. The noise of the explosion was worse than the damage, and they didn’t even add the charges in the correct places for maximum damage.” I lift my brows at him. When I don’t immediately respond to him, he looks over at me and grins. “What?”

“You know a lot about this.”

“I may have blown up a building or two in my time.” He snickers, and a flash of cruel delight simmers in his gaze. “I even set the school science lab on fire once.”

I laugh, the sound bursting from my chest like I can’t contain it. The sound surprises me, which only makes me laugh harder. First of all, I can barely think of Johnny Rocket in a classroom setting. It seems too lowly for him. Did he sit through lectures dressed in his suit pants and tie? Second, just the fact that he set fire to the school has me rolling.

“To be fair, it was an accident the first time.”

I shake my head at him. “I bet the administrators were happy to get rid of you.”

“Except I keep showing back up.”

My gut clenches as I think of Johnny with the school secretary. He was a little playboy, wasn’t he? Unrepentant, took what he wanted, and gloated about it.

The guard at the station waves us under the building and into the parking garage. While Johnny parks, I ruminate over how far he’s come. At the same time, I’ve gone in the opposite direction. I’ve backslid. Do I even have morals anymore? Did I check them at the city limits of Rawley Heights, only to get them back when I leave this town? Maybe. Hopefully….

Then again, I never claimed to be a good person. I came here to murder someone. In that way, Johnny and I are the same. We act for our own happiness, regardless of how bad those actions might be.

Now, though, the deeper the guys imbed into my life, I like to think I’m acting withallof them in mind. I just hope Johnny sees that when he finds out the truth.

Magnum steps off the elevator, holding it for us as we close the car doors and step up to him. He eyes me briefly before moving his gaze to Johnny. “Everyone’s upstairs already.”

Johnny checks his watch, but we’re not late. At least not by the vehicle’s clock.

“Heard any rumors as to what this is about?” Johnny questions, taking my hand to lead me to the elevator.

The copper-haired stunner shakes his head. He’s dressed all in black, as usual. At this point, it would be a jolt to my system to see him in any other color. Plus, the black offsets his hair nicely and clings to his muscles, and... I block those thoughts as he answers. “No, nothing.”

“Stay with Kyla,” Johnny orders. “She’s been instructed not to say anything, but—”

I pierce Johnny with a look, and Mag smirks. “But you’re not sure she’ll listen?”

“Basically, yes,” Johnny deadpans.

These assholes. I do have some restraint. “While we’re giving out orders, no one comes to my defense if shit starts to go down in there,” I tell both of them. “Also, I promise I won’t say a word unless spoken to.”

“Still,” Johnny says to Mag. “I don’t want her left alone.”

The worried look in Johnny’s pale blue eyes alarms me. Does he think Big Daddy K will do something to me right now? Does he know? I shake that thought out of my head immediately. If he knew K was going to do something to me, there’s no way he’d be bringing me here right now. “How worried should I be?”

Johnny presses his lips closed and all of us step into the elevator.

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