Page 14 of These Reckless Hearts

He drops one hand from the steering wheel to his lap. “What part?”

“You said I was the key to finding the treasure. You told everyone that.”

“I’ve always believed that,” he tells me, briefly glancing at me to drive his point home.

“Because of the information my family has?”

He shakes his head. “Not even remotely, Dakota Wilder. Because you’re you, that’s why. Because even when you looked as if you were dragged through the trenches, you always showed up, determined. Your light always burned brighter than your father’s.”

My heart squeezes. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over thinking of Clark as my father and hating that I do at the same time.

“Sorry.” Stone reaches out to trace patterns on my thigh, flirting with the hem of my dress. “Can I ask you a question?”

I push my tongue against my teeth. I have a feeling this is about my dad which is a little too close to home right now. I want to dance in the knowledge that we bested Lance today, not dwell on what Cole told me yesterday. But, I wouldn’t have any of this if it wasn’t for Stone, so I can’t refuse him. “Anything.”

He presses his lips together, peeking at me from the corner of his eye before moving his stare back to the road. He shifts in his seat, and I start to squirm. Nerves on Stone bother me. It’s like an electric voltage sign near water. “Why didn’t you want Cole to tell you what your real name is?”

I flinch. Truth be told, my initial reaction spurred right from my gut. When Cole asked, I all but yelled no at him. I couldn’t get the word out fast enough. I kick my flats off and flex my toes on the rubber floor mats.

“Aren’t you curious?” he continues.

“Yeah,” I admit, hating the clashing, swirling thoughts inside me. “I am, but….” I breathe out. “I already feel like I’m slowly being unraveled, and I have to grasp onto something. If he told me my birth name, it would be like seeing the truth in black and white. It would mean a total upheaval.

“I know you’re going to tell me that it doesn’t matter what my name is, I’m still me, and I agree with you,” I murmur, hating the taste of the lie on my tongue. I understand the logic, but that doesn’t mean my mind is on board with that feeling. “All my life, I’ve been told I’m special because of my last name, that my whole entire family legacy hinges on the fact that my last name is Wilder. I really can’t fucking deal with the fact that it’s not—thatI’ma lie.”

My eyes burn like tiny matchsticks are being lit behind them. I hate that I can’t keep my emotions under control. This part kills me the most. Not that Cole killed the man I believed was my father. Not that my father was actually not my father. It’s that I have no reference for who I am. Hell, I hated a boy for most of my life that I now love because I was a Wilder and I had to hate the Jacobs’. They were our arch enemies. Finding out that was a farce makes me feel as if I don’t know what, or who, I am at my core.

Stone nods, wiping his palm down his cleanly shaved jaw. “Right now, I think I’d give anything not to be a Jacobs.”

His words punch a hole in my gut. He’s been betrayed, too, but his was hidden in shrouds, lurking in the evil shadows of his father’s business dealings. “You think I should know who I am, don’t you?”

Stone turns toward me, eyes flaring. “No. Not if you don’t want to. None of us are in your shoes, and I’m not going to tell you what to do with that dumpster fire that was forced on you. No one should.” He shifts in the seat again. “If you ever change your mind, I’ll be there for you. And Lucas and Wyatt will be there for you, too, at the drop of a hat.”

“A cowboy hat?”

Stone rolls his eyes. “If Wyatt has his way.” He drums his fingers over the leather-bound steering wheel, a frown tugging at his lips. His whole body sighs as if he’s just decided to let go of the last remnants of rope he’d been holding and fall into what lies beneath. “I’m devastated I did so much for my father… things that I knew were wrong, but I wanted to please him. Now, I want as far away from him as possible.” He stares at me, knuckles turning white on the wheel. “I’ll never be able to apologize enough. I hate myself for what I did to you. I can’t help but think that some of this uncertainty in who you are is because I stood up on that altar with Marissa when the only person I’ve ever dreamed about marrying is you.”

Fuuuuck. There it is again. I press my knees together. The marriage talk gets me every damn time. Maybe there’s something hardwired in my brain that makes me turn to goo at those words. From someone who thought she’d never be able to escape her family’s isolation, I grasp onto Stone’s every promise of somethingmore. He saw me when no one else did. When I was invisible to my own father, he was there. He watched. He dreamed.

I want to straddle him and fuck his brains out. I want to erase the memory of his almost wedding because even though it was a huge farce, it chipped a piece of my heart. I don’t care who you are, if you see the man you love standing before an officiant with another woman, you’re going to change. No matter how much I want to give in to him—how much my body wants it, too—we need to be on stable ground before we can move past it.

This isn’t me making Stone pay in some fucked up withholding sex game to make sure he truly feels bad about what he’s done. In fact, it’s not about sex at all. It’s about having more dignity for myself. It’s about making sure I’m ready to move forward without the chains of what I saw holding me back. It’s about being able to give my all to him when I’m absolutely sure it won’t break me.

But also, I’m horny as fuck, so…it’s complicated. I guess it’s a good thing I have two other dicks at home.

Without a word, I grab Stone’s hand, teasing his fingers with my own and drawing out the connection between us both. He captures mine in a firm grip and holds me the rest of the way home.

Home. I’ve never felt the significance of the word until I shared one with Wyatt, Lucas, and Stone. Inside the Spanish-style house sit two more pieces of my heart. Whatever brought us together, it’s our strengthening ties that will keep us a unit.

Stone walks me to the door, opening it for me like the gentleman he is. I press up to my tiptoes to brush a kiss across his cheek before turning toward my room. Words fail me, otherwise I might explain everything that’s going on in my head, but I think he gets it.

“I love you, Dakota,” he calls out after me.

I turn, walking backward with my flats in my hands, my bare feet against the cold tile. “You know how I feel, Stone Jacobs.”

Tension releases from his shoulders, and he watches me disappear down the hallway. I retreat inside my room, shutting the door and letting the cool glass against my forehead relieve some of the heat from me, but it doesn’t work. I crawl up the bed, lie on my back, and hike my dress up. I find my pussy with my hands, using the fabric of my panties as friction to work myself up. My mind wanders to my guys, picturing them fucking me with their hard cocks, and even though I can get myself off, I want more, and I want to keep Stone’s face as far away from me as possible so I don’t break down. I reach inside my clutch and FaceTime Lucas. He picks it up on the second ring, and it takes him no time at all to figure out what I’m doing. “Wild Girl…” he breathes. “I didn’t know you got home.”

I bite my lip, my curly hair swirling around my pillow in the screen. “I need you.” A breathy cry escapes. “Lucas….”

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