Page 57 of Finn

It makes for a fun night until one of the Elite Boxing athletes gets knocked out bad. The ref stops his opponent from causing even more damage while the guy is sprawled out over the baby blue mat with his eyes rolled back into his head and everything.

“Damn,” Jared grimaces. “That was rough.”

My heel bounces on the ground as Jax rushes into the cage with medical professionals. Blood streams from a gash in the athlete’s hairline, and even though I can’t see the exact moment he regains consciousness, I spy his feet move through the bodies crowding around him. I sigh in relief, hoping the guy will be okay. I’ve never been knocked out, but I imagine it sucks.

He’s still out of it by the time they announce the winner, the other guy’s hand gets raised in the ring solo. It’s his sixth knockout in a row, the announcer informs the crowd. There’s a whole section in the third level that goes crazy, and I glance up to see them jumping up and down, drinks spilling everywhere.

When the last fight ends anticlimactically, I still can’t keep my mind from the poor guy who got knocked out. Jared wants to go down and talk with some of the guys he knows, so we all head down to the first level again. He and Jaz move toward a group I recognize. For a moment, I stand there, greeting the guys with a smile, but I can only stand it for so long. I lean over to Jaz to tell her where I’m going, and then I motion for Dempsey to follow me.

I walk toward the door in the corner, pushing it open and navigating the back hallways like I know where I’m going. Dempsey’s footsteps are close behind as I make my way to the locker room. Surprisingly, the door opens in front of me when I get there, and I’m greeted with an expanse of bare man chest. “Hey Leenie,” the guy says.

I smile in return.

“We miss you at the gym.”

A hard lump lodges in my throat. “Me too,” I tell him. “Can I um...?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Everyone’s dressed.”

I walk in. The sounds and the smells hit me all at once. They’re both comforting and make a dull ache start in my chest at the same time. Searching for the guy who got knocked out, I find him in the corner, Jax sitting next to him talking softly.

Ignoring my rapidly beating heart, I stride toward them. Jax lifts his head when I get closer, complete shock registering on his face. “Leenie. I didn’t know you were here.”

My mouth dries out. I lick my lips and put on a brave face. “Yeah, I’m here with Jaz and Jared. Jared trained with you a few times.”

“Right,” he says. He glances behind me as if he’s looking for Finn. Instead, his eyes shadow over because I’m sure he sees the Dragon flame licking up Dempsey’s neck.

“I just wanted to check on your guy,” I say, motioning to the fighter next to him. “I was worried.”

The guy glances up, grinning. Sweat drips from the ends of his hair, and his teeth are stained red. He looks like he’s been through war. “All good,” he assures me. “I’ve had worse.” Turning, he spits into a bucket. Jax runs a lumpy washcloth over the fighter’s back that more than likely has ice in it.

“Okay, well...” I look around, and it hits me that I didn’t just come back here to see if the guy was okay. That was a major part of it, but I was also sick of sitting on the sidelines. It seems so wrong now. I should be back here with everyone, listening to them talk shop about how they’re going to win next time. “I guess I’ll leave you guys alone.” I clear my throat. “See you later, Jax.”

I spin on my heel, brushing past Dempsey to get the hell out of here. He’s right at my back when Jax comes jogging up to me. He puts his hand on the door before I can open it. “You okay?” His eyes are similar to his brother’s, and they burn right into me.

I glance away. “Totally fine.” I give him a fake smile that I’m sure isn’t fooling anyone, but he moves aside so I can leave anyway.

As soon as I can take a clear breath without everything in that room fogging my brain, I realize leaving the locker room isn’t enough. I want to get the fuck out of this place, too. I tell Dempsey as much, and he leads me out the side door while I send a quick text to Jaz telling her that I’m leaving.

24

Dempsey walks me all the way back home and up the stairs to mine and Jaz’s apartment. He doesn’t linger, I’ll give him that. Something I really appreciate.

Jaz replies to my texts with a couple of sad faces, but she understands. I’m not in the mood to get all hot and sweaty with anyone on the dance floor right now, but she should totally stay and hang out with Jared. I don’t need to be anyone else’s buzzkill, I’m doing enough of a job of being my own.

Settling in for the night is rough because I’m too worked up. I can’t shake the feeling that being here is wrong. It blows my mind. I love this damn apartment. However, at this point, I’m just a slave to the thoughts running circles through my mind, and they’re all revolving around Finn and the world I was a part of—if only for that short period of time.

Groaning, I sit up in bed, breaking my staring contest with the ceiling. I pull on a hoodie over my outfit and some sensible sneakers before leaving.You’re just going to go look at the house, I tell myself all the way to the bus stop. That’s perfectly acceptable and non-stalkerish at all. Just a quiet stroll in the waning hours of the night. Maybe Max will be in the window, or maybe Finn will return home and I’ll get to see him walk through the door. The only thing I know is, I can’t go another minute thinking about their house—him—without actually seeing it.

The uneventful bus ride is quiet, keeping my own thoughts on repeat. Since there’s nothing else to occupy my mind or a voice of reason to tell myself this is a dumb idea, the silence only reinforces the loneliness I’ve been feeling. In trying to help me, my brother has become more inaccessible than everandhe sent Finn away. It’s no wonder why it feels like everything is falling apart.

My phone buzzes in my pocket as the bus nears my stop, and speak of the devil, it’s Cole.Dempsey told me you left early. Are you okay?

I give him a thumbs up back.

His reply is unexpected, and my stomach clenches.I’m leaving again, Leen. Just wanted to let you know. Dempsey will be here for you. If you need anything. ANYTHING. Call me.

I don’t know what I expected. He already told me he’d have to return to his business that’s not quite finished. He fixed my problem like he said he would, and now he’s gone. I want to tell him to send Finn back, but at the same time, Finn hasn’t even messaged me, so I won’t have my brother give my crush a message like atotalstalker. Instead, I text back:Be careful, big bro. Love ya.

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