Page 19 of Jax

“Why do you want to know?” she fires back.

Frustration lances through me. “Forget it. Are we done here? You stayed all this time just to ask me those questions?”

“No, I stayed because there’s no way in hell you’re going back to that psycho tonight. And no, Jax isn’t here.” She nibbles her lip when she says that, and I try to gauge her reaction but I don’t know her well enough to understand what she’s thinking. My heart sinks with the knowledge that Jax is gone though. He didn’t stay. I mean, of course he wouldn’t but I don’t know. For a second there, I thought I could see a slice of the way we used to be. Him slinging me over his shoulder when I didn’t do what he said. The way he looked me over when we were back in the Ring as if he was checking to see if I was okay. He was protective almost.

I guess Leenie is right about asking me that question.What the fuck am I doing here?Am I being Psycho’s bitch? Or am I playing out my fantasies where one day Jax forgives me?

I growl in frustration and then hit the button for the nurse.

“What are you doing?” Leenie asks.

“Leaving.”

“They’re still treating you.”

I laugh. “I’ve lived for years the way I am. If malnutrition was going to kill me, it would’ve had the decency to do it already.” When no one comes immediately, I yell, “Nurse!” loud enough to be heard over the cartoon blaring in the other room.

A hand throws the curtain back, and one of the guys who first brought me in sticks his head in. His brows are pinched like he’s had a long night, and he’d really like to tell me to go fuck myself but he smiles blandly instead. “What can I do for you?”

“I want to leave. Take this IV out.” My mind is a jumbled mess. I have no idea where I would even go. What am I doing? Going back to the storage facility tonight? Not fucking likely. Psycho thinks I’m going to be with Jax and if I show up without the information he wants, he’ll kick my ass.

But I can’t go with Leenie. Where? To Jax’s house? Please.

Even as I think it, that’s what my heart longs for. So many good memories in that house. So many peaceful, quiet nights. Some other type of nights too—sensual ones—but I was never afraid there. Not until I got caught.

“Let me get with the doctor.”

“No. Now,” I demand.

“You’ll at least have to wait until I get the discharge papers.”

Before I can even respond, he turns his back and walks away. I scream in frustration and start peeling up the tape that they used to keep the IV down.

“Jesus, Sadie. You’re not going to tear the freaking IV out. Just wait.”

“Easy for you to say. You ever not had anywhere to go?” I sneer in her direction, looking her up and down. I can tell from looking at her that she doesn’t have the same background as me. She’s never had to lie, cheat, or steal to get by. She’s never had to lose herself.

“If you don’t have anywhere to go, why are you in such a hurry to get out of here?”

I open my mouth to retort but I just stand there like a gaping fish. I honestly have no idea. I only know I don’t want to be here.

She smiles. “Thought so.”

I lift my hand and flip her off. She shrugs like she could give a shit. I sigh. “I bet you and Finn get along well.” From what I can see, she’s just what he needs. He’s so laid back and she’s feistier.

A dreamy look takes over her eyes, and I remember that feeling well. “Finn... Finn’s... Everything,” she finishes.

I almost snort. “You missed him in his teens. He was a bit of a dork.”

She leans forward, a grin pulling at her lips. “Not possible.”

“Totally possible. Picture him minus all those new muscles he has. Shorter. He had this floppy hair like Nick from the Backstreet Boys. It wasn’t a good look for him.”

She laughs, the sound echoing around the small space. “What about Jax?”

“Jax always looked gorgeous,” I say, my voice turning wistful. I bring up an image of him in my head. I’m staring at the pocked ceiling in the emergency room but instead, all I see is Jax back when we were the only thing the other needed. “Less tattoos. A little less muscle.”

“Still with an attitude?”

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