Page 21 of Jax

Before I can even move to turn, Leenie says, “You can’t go back to him.” Her voice is firm as steel.

I close my eyes. I wish it were that easy but there’s one thing she’s right about. I can’t go back to him tonight. “I’ll find someplace to stay.”

“Right. With who? With what money? All the hotels around here are roach-infested pigsties.”

“Not your concern,” I call out as I really do turn this time. It’s been a while since I was on the street in the Heights, and I bet the whole town has changed. I can find somewhere though. I’ve had to do it before.

Finn swears under his breath, and then I hear his footsteps behind me. He cuts right in front of me, making me stop. His long lashes half hide his eyes as his frown deepens. “He’s going to murder me.”

“Finn,” I caution, not knowing if I’m telling him not to do this because it will hurt Jax or if I’m still playing Psycho’s part. That’s the hardest part about being me. Sometimes, I don’t even know myself.

“You’ll come back with us. You can’t fucking stay for long but it’s the middle of the damn night and you’re hurt.”

Leenie looks pleased with herself but I doubt she’ll keep that look for long when Jax sees me back at the house. I don’t know if it’s the fluid from the IV or what but I feel unusually full—almost painfully so.

Finn turns before I can say anything else to him. Leenie and I follow him to the street where he starts looking for a taxi. Leenie grabs the sleeve of her hoodie that I’m wearing, slowing me down. When we’re several feet away from Finn, she lowers her voice and says, “Maybe you could start with an apology?”

I blink at her. “If you think that’s all it’ll take, you don’t know Jax.”

“You have to start somewhere.”

Or I could just leave him alone... But I can’t, can I? I’m a prisoner in my own body. The very thing I want to do—get close to Jax again—is the very thing that will hurt him if I do it. Psycho will lord it over me. He’ll exploit the relationship.

If I was a better person, I’d turn and run.

Instead, Finn gets the attention of a taxi, and I’m sliding into the front seat so Finn and Leenie can have the back. I ignore their whispered conversation as much as I can but I gather that Jax isn’t answering his texts, and he’s probably not even at the house.

Wonderful.

Less than ten minutes later, the driver drops us outside the cracked sidewalk leading to Finn and Jax’s front door. No lights illuminate the windows, so it certainly looks as if no one’s home. I follow them up the newer steps. They don’t creak anymore when you walk on them like they used to. As Finn fishes for his keys, I ask, “How are your parents?”

His jaw ticks. I wait for the answer I already know. “Good. They moved to Florida, so we bought the house off them.”

“Nice. You did some work on it.”

“Yep,” he says, popping the p.

He gets the door open, and a dog barks. I nearly jump out of my skin, but Finn bends over to pet it, only it bypasses him and goes right to Leenie. “Aw, hey there Maximilian,” she coos. “Aren’t you a good dog?”

“Shut up,” Finn mutters.

As soon as the dog gets enough pets from Leenie, the black, white, and brown furball runs after Finn who disappears into the kitchen. The back door opens and closes, and then he returns, switching the lights on. I blink at the familiar yet changed surroundings. Everything in the house is updated and nicer. They have brand new furniture and a huge TV. I’m also pretty sure I can see a few Leenie touches here and there. A bit of feminine sprinkled throughout. Honestly, it’s the homiest room I’ve been in since the last time I was in this house.

My stomach clenches from the memories of the past. Living in the Flats, I can forget about this place because what I’m doing is so different. Now that it’s shoved in my face, it’s front and center, and a huge ache rips my chest open.

“You can sleep on the couch,” Finn tells me. “I can’t get ahold of Jax, so don’t freak out if he’s hovering over you in the middle of the night like he wants to murder you.”

“Hmm. Maybe too soon for domestic abuse jokes?” Leenie questions.

I shrug. “I’d deserve it, and thanks, you didn’t have to do this.”

“Thank Leenie.” He crosses his arms over his chest, and we all stare at each other until the dog barks.

Finn moves back into the kitchen as Leenie opens the top of an ottoman and pulls out a couple of blankets. “Let me grab you something to sleep in. I can put your clothes through the wash if you want?”

I peel off her hoodie and hand it over. Standing here in their house, I look at how ratty my clothes actually are. I’ve had these clothes for years and years and maybe in the Flats or under the dark lights of seedy bars, these clothes pass inspection, but they don’t here.

A quick peek at Finn as he comes back into the room and I realize Leenie’s offering to do way too much. I don’t want to drive a wedge between these two. “I’m okay,” I tell her. “Thanks.”

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