Page 23 of Jax

Fear and sorrow slice through me simultaneously. Did I really hurt him that much that he’d take this from me? Heat gathers behind my eyes. “I’m sorry, Jax. So sorry.”

“Not sorry enough. You have no idea the shit I had to go through in jail. Lifting weights so I could be the big, scary guy. Getting tattooed, picking fights so no one would fuck with me.” He takes a deep, shaky breath. “It was worse when I got out. The way the neighbors looked at me. The huge billboard over my head that read,rapist. If you were sorry for all of that, you would’ve begged for my forgiveness. You would’ve been there to call when I sat in a cell for fucking years because of you. You would’ve been there for me when I got out.”

Fresh tears track down my cheeks. Images of the hell I put him through flash through my head. Spiraling guilt chokes me as I envision him doing all those things. Being the bully, then the target of whispered accusations. Enduring it all because of me.

Despite his words, Jax massages my hip, awakening old memories. I suck in a breath as my body starts to move in tandem with his. Everything I haven’t felt with Psycho rushes to the surface. My sensitive flesh begs for more, and soon, I’m too caught up in it to stop.

I moan as his fingers explore, moving closer to my heat. Jax’s eyes light up. “You want me too. Do you still think about me?”

In answer, I angle my hips until his thumb passes over my slit. Excitement rocks my body. I grip the hem of my shirt and pull it up so he can see exactly where he’s touching me. Whatever pain reliever they gave me at the hospital must still be working wonders because a dull ache is the only thing that plagues me.

He purses his lips. “Sadie. Sweet, perfect Sadie is so wet for me. You can’t rape the willing.”

I grab the back of his head, digging my fingers into his skull. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” I won’t ever be able to make it up to him but I’ll fucking try.

He fists the Elite Boxing shirt I’m wearing and yanks me forward. I slide off the couch and onto his lap. “You wanted it with me. All of it.”

The workout pants he’s wearing do nothing to hide his erection as I straddle his hips. “Always,” I breathe. Being here, doing this, it feels like coming home. It’s like no time has passed.

He reaches under my shirt and squeezes my bare breast. I peel the shirt off me, leaving me naked before him. His whiskey breath lets out in a whoosh as he takes me in. “Too skinny.”

His words sting. They shouldn’t because I deserve everything he throws at me and more but I’m only human.

“Not like I pictured,” he slurs, still studying me.

I swallow the hurt. “It’s been years.”

He growls, moving forward so I slide onto the floor. My aching body doesn’t stop me from wanting this semblance of normalcy. My knees fall apart, and he stares at me hungrily. “This is for me, not you.”

I nod, watching as he reaches inside his pants and strokes his cock. My body doesn’t listen to his words. I’m so turned on just by being near him. For me, this is a moment I’ve always wanted again.

He runs his fist down his length while watching me, his body shuddering. When he finally yanks his pants down, I whimper at the sight of him. Every fantasy I’ve had about him ends here. I almost have to pinch myself to tell me that this is real. My pussy clenches in anticipation.

He lowers over me, hard eyes meeting mine. “You won’t like this.”

11

His words reverberate around me as he pushes inside. His hard strokes are unlike the last time we had sex but I can’t help but be engrossed in this new Jax. Over the years, darkness has beckoned me into its depth, and I’ve thrived there. “Oh god yes,” he growls, hips slamming into me. He moves me up the floor, following after me until he wraps his arm around my back and over my shoulder to pin me in place.

I gasp as he digs his hands into my bruises, but it quickly turns into a moan.

“Don’t talk,” he rasps.

I snap my mouth shut, meeting him stroke for stroke. Pleasure overtakes the pain I’m in. Our loud breaths mix as we seek out joint pleasure. My mouth falls open as he hits the perfect spot inside. “Oh fuck. Yes, Jax.”

He stumbles, losing his rhythm. “Don’t,” he growls out a warning.

I’m so fucked up that it turns me on even more. He returns to his pace, and I let out a breath, not caring when it ends in a long moan as my orgasm rushes to the surface. An uninhibited, needed pleasure breaks loose, and I cry out, “Jax, yes!”

He shudders as my pussy grips him. He slams his fist into the floor next to my head, and I cringe away from it. The overwhelming laps of pure bliss overshadow his anger. The feel of his thick cock inside me as I spasm around him prolongs my climax even when he stares at me like he could kill me.

“That pleasure was mine,” he scolds harshly. He’s completely stopped. He doesn’t moan. He doesn’t breathe hard. The loathing in his stare makes me shrivel. Then, all at once, he drives forward again. All memories of my sweet Jax are gone. He drives into me so hard I’m thrown back to nights with Psycho. I grip his forearms but it only spurs him on. “Yes. Good girl, Kelly,” he emphasizes. “Sweet cunt. Yes.”

I stiffen as the name of another girl passes his lips while he enters me. He moansKellyagain and again as I lay there until he shivers, pulling out at the last second to catch his cum in his hand.

When he’s finished, he backs away, tearing the shirt off his back and using it to wipe his hands. Tossing it to the side, he pulls his pants up, stands, and walks up the stairs, leaving me on the floor still sore and alone. His callous, emotionless state freezes me in a state of shock-filled horror.

He disappears from view, and I double over from the pain that no amount of pills can touch. The tears that gathered when I realized he wasn’t even thinking about me, fall. They slip down my cheeks until I’m sobbing to ease the ache in my chest. I place my hand between my breasts, feeling the physical agony right beneath the surface. It’s palpable. Tangible. And it’s not going away any time soon. I pull myself onto the couch and curl up in a ball as I let it all out.

---