Page 34 of Jax

He’s still inspecting the sea of bodies, so I reach up to place my palm on his cheek, making him look at me. Those blue eyes have always centered me, and right now, the truth about why I’m here ripples under my skin like tacks. If Jax and I get too close, I’m liable to hurt him with it. Psycho isn’t someone who’ll just sit back. He thinks I’m his, and I’ve been a loyal soldier for a long time. He’ll fight for me. Bringing Jax, Finn, and Leenie into this hot mess is not something I can do lightly.

Jax drops his gaze to my lips, and they buzz. He hasn’t kissed me yet. Whether he ever will again remains unknown.

“Why do I think there’s more about you coming back than you’ve said? A guy like Psycho… He doesn’t strike me as letting you stay with us. He’ll come for you, won’t he?”

“I told you they want the Ring,” I answer, skirting the truth, dressing it up so it looks better than it is.

“I saw where you live, Sadie. They don’t have money to buy the Ring. Not that it’s for sale, anyway.”

“Of course it’s not,” I tell him, a smile turning my lips up. It’s crazy to think that Jax owns the building we’re standing in. This crowded, vibrant place is all his. “You did it,” I tell him. Pride sneaks in on me once more, and I can barely hold back the heart-warming emotions filling me. “What you always said you would do, you actually did it.”

Jax swallows as he stares at me. The lines around his eyes tighten and ease like he’s going through a myriad of emotions. But like the old Jax, he’s keeping them inside.

“It was fun to see you fight again.”

“Liar. You hate it when I fight.”

I shake my head with a sly grin. “You still don’t listen, do you? I hate when you get hurt. There’s a difference.”

“To fight is to get hurt.” He glances away, the same spot in his jaw ticking like crazy. “Everything is like that. The threat of getting hurt is around every corner if you’re doing something that matters to you.”

I close my eyes and lean my head on his chest. Beneath his Elite Boxing shirt, his heart pumps faster than the current rapid beat of the song playing overhead.

Jax places his finger under my chin and makes me look at him. “What do you want, Sadie?” he begs. I’m at the end of my lifeline with him. I might not have realized it before but from the look he’s giving me now, he’s been throwing me life preservers since I came back. Sure, he’s taken them away, too, but that’s what happens when two people have complicated pasts.

“What do I want? That’s easy.” I swallow the thickness in my throat. “I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

I stare into his eyes, trying to read him by finding the Jax I fell in love with. Iseehim. Deep, deep down, hovering underneath the surface. I move to my tiptoes, getting closer and closer to his lips. His hot breath hits my mouth, and my pulse flutters at my wrists. Just when I’m about to kiss him, he takes a step back, chest heaving in front of him as he watches me. It takes him all of a few seconds to grab my hand and lead me away from the dance floor. The crowd parts for him. As big as he is, it’s like a knife cutting through soft butter.

He tugs open the corner door and leads me down the hallway in the opposite direction of the locker room and office. We pass a couple of guys with black shirts that state Security over the chest. He doesn’t stop pulling me until he turns the knob on a non-descript door. Entering, he pulls me into the dark room after him. The smell of cleaning products assaults my nostrils.

A blue dot in the corner blinks on and off. From the sparse light coming in from beneath the door, I spy shelves filled with jugs and small boxes. Before I can complete my perusal, Jax walks me backward until my ass hits the door. “You don’t want to hurt? I’ve got a plan for that. First, let’s get you out of Leenie’s clothes. It’s killing it for me.” I snicker, and he gives me a look. “I love that girl like a sister.”

I gulp, knowing he means it. Jax doesn’t like many people, so when he opens up to others, it means something. Just from this ringing endorsement, I like her more and I already liked her well enough. “I’ll buy different clothes.”

I bite my lip as he tears the shirt over my head. “With what money?”

“Know anyone hiring?”

He laughs. It’s all deep and throaty and sends sparks through me. “If that’s your way of asking if you can work for me, fuck no. I don’t trust you enough for that.”

Though he doesn’t say it, I suspect he held back a “yet” at the end of that sentence. Before I can call him out though, he grips my breasts in his hands, kneading them. A low moan escapes my throat.

He skims his thumb over my nipple. “Here’s what’s going to happen, Sadie. I’m going to get down on my knees for you. I’m going to make you not think, and in the same vein, I’m not going to either. This is just sex.”

He unclasps the button on my jeans and slips the material past my hips. Following them down, he kneels before me. I spread my legs because I know he’s telling himself that it’s just sex. He wants this as much as I do, only it’s easier for him to handle it if he says it doesn’t mean anything.

My panties come off next, and I tangle my fingers in his hair while he lifts my leg over his shoulder. He nuzzles my cunt, sniffing me. The first touch of his tongue on my sensitive flesh has me crying out. “Shit, Jax.”

Instead of telling me to not say his name this time, he groans and circles my clit with the tip of his tongue. A move he knows I fucking love. He spent one whole day learning my every desire when it comes to oral. I’d never come so many times in my life but Psycho may have stolen that achievement when he used the vibrator on me.

I push all thoughts of him from my mind as Jax moans into me. “This scent is so uniquely you.”

He steamrolls ahead, knocking me back against the door. My nipples peak, brushing against the lace fabric of my bra as he works his magic. He starts flicking his tongue back and forth, and I cry out. “Jax, fuck. You remembered.”

“I know you inside and out. I knoweverythingabout you, Sadie.”

I lie my head back against the door, enjoying everything he’s willing to give. Euphoria sets in. A bliss I don’t often have when it comes to sex anymore. In my world, it’s a tool. A bartering system sometimes but usually punishment. Right here, right now, it’s so much more than that. Tears form in the corner of my eyes as hot as the blazing sun. They track down my cheeks while he works me over. “Jax, goddamn,” I breathe. “Like that.”

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