Page 40 of Jax

“Yeah, yeah.”

I turn my head toward Finn, inspecting his profile. I might’ve been a dick when he first met Leenie. I won’t admit it but I was jealous as fuck. I had what they had. I fucking had Sadie. I’d even looked her up when Leenie moved in and I saw how happy she and Finn were together. I Googled her name, and much like when I first got out of jail, nothing came up. She was still a ghost. I only knew from the Crew guys in lock up that K had kicked her out, but of course, no one knew where she went after that. For all I knew, she could’ve went across the country. She could’ve went to one of those places we dreamed about.

But I know where she ended up now. Psycho.

“This guy’s no good,” I tell Finn.

He doesn’t even have to ask who I mean. “Anyone who beats up on their girl is a piece of shit, but he just might be extra. Do you see her get jumpy sometimes? She doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. She’s skittish.”

“She had old bruises on her,” I tell him, pointing to my own collarbone and chest. He doesn’t ask me how I know, and there’s no fucking way I’d tell him. I prefer for Finn to still think of me as his hero, not the guy who took advantage of a girl who was already broken.

“Seems to me like the past might be repeating itself. Psycho is K all over again. Only this time, we’re a little older, a little wiser. We might be able to do something about it, man.”

Deep in my heart, I know I want to help her. It’s why she’s still fucking here. It’s why I can’t walk away. “Something is still off,” I tell him, shaking my head. I know Sadie inside and out, and she hasn’t told us everything. I can’t pinpoint what but I know she hasn’t. And because she’s not being honest, the mistrust blooms, growing like a weed.

“Just because she’s keeping something back doesn’t mean it’s to hurt you,” Finn reminds me. “From what it sounds like, she doesn’t much like herself. Maybe she’s worried you won’t like her either if she tells you everything.”

Been there already. “I told her I hated her,” I confess, waiting for his reaction.

Finn swallows. “Was it the truth?”

“Yeah,” I admit, the air punching from my lungs. “But it wasn’t the whole truth.”

Maybe it’s from being with Sadie, who at times, has felt like my complete opposite in every way that matters but I have a theory that hate is a beat away from love. And if that’s the case, the opposite is true, too: Love is a beat away from hate.

I’m still wondering which one will win out.

18

The next morning, everyone sleeps in. Max wakes me up by licking my face, and I have to admit, I love the little furball. We go through the motions of the morning. Jax ignores me, and I ignore him right back. Leenie and Finn are the only voices, and they don’t act like anything is off because honestly, it’s probably that way with them most of the time. Jax isn’t known for talking.

When I finish my yogurt, I sit there awkwardly. I have to tell them I’m leaving, and honestly, I keep waiting for Jax to tell me that I’ve overstayed my welcome anyway. Leenie, though, has other plans. “You and I are going shopping today, Sadie. The boys are going to do boy shit.”

I blink. When no one protests, I stare around the room, stopping on Jax. He’s still not looking at me, but he doesn’t tell Leenie no either. Shopping has never really been my thing but depending on where we’re going, I could take the opportunity to run away, so I reluctantly agree, not as if Leenie actually gave me a choice in the matter.

Twenty minutes later, we get into her car. Her eyes light up when she tells me we’re going to a thrift store. I wait until she’s told me all about this store and how she purchases her clothes and accessories there. “No offense,” I say. “But you’re with Finn. Can’t you afford to go to an actual store?”

Leenie chuckles. “No offense taken. They pay me a salary for running the Elite Boxing store, but I love a good thrift shop buy. Even if I had a hundred million dollars, I would still shop at this place. It’s kind of my thing.”

The longer the drive takes, the more the emotions whirl inside me. We’re well away from the Heights and the Flats. City streets turn into county and then a posh subdivision. We’re definitely nowhere near home.

Leenie smirks. “You’d be amazed at the shit these rich ladies get rid of,” she practically squeals. “It’s unreal. Jaz and I always come here.”

“You’ve talked about Jaz before. Who’s she?”

“My best friend. She had to get away for a while,” Leenie informs me, gaze darting away. “She had some shit to work through. But she’ll get back and then all three of us will come here. It’ll be fun.”

Her words offer a lifeline but she’s delirious. She has to see that I can’t live with them forever. “Just how long do you see me staying with you guys? I’m pretty sure Jax wants me out.”

Leenie waves my worries away and then she sits up in her seat, eyes bright. “We’re here,” she sings.

The shop is in a strip mall type setting with painted beige bricks. The cute sign over the door and the view through the front window looks like we’re literally walking into an upscale store. Leenie has a full-on smile on her face as we get out of the car, and she practically skips inside.

Leenie goes right to the women’s clothes section. She runs her hand over the many original store tags still on the clothes, and my jaw practically drops. “These are new clothes.”

“I know,” she squeals.

I follow Leenie’s lead, only looking at the racks she’s searching through though. A few things catch my eye, but I don’t let myself look too long. There’s no point when you don’t have any money.

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