Page 49 of Jax

“I’ll do it again,” Psycho threatens. I can’t see his eyes right now but I’m sure they’re lit up with excitement. “I’ll keep you in here. Just like last time.”

“Fine,” I tell him, lifting my chin defiantly though I doubt he can see the gesture. When he left me in here before, he broke me but I’ve realized there’s something worse: the loss of myself. Willingly. Giving myself to him with Jax’s smell still on me will kill my soul. I lick my lips, defiance rolling through me. “What I said in the car saved you from losing face. I could’ve said there was no way I’d come within ten feet of your dick but I gave you an out. You’re already prepping another girl to be me, why the fuck do you care if I don’t want you?”

“Because I am everything!” he screams in my face. The force of his voice makes me want to curl into myself. “You’ll do what I say, and so will everyone else. The moment I start giving someone the option not to, I lose control.”

“I told you not to send me on this job. You only have yourself to blame for this.”

“You’re trash,” Psycho says slowly. “He won’t want you once he learns you were aiming to bleed him dry.”

I want to retaliate, to tell him exactly what Jax knows but keeping that information private is probably the best thing right now.

“You think you can just go on living your life with him now, but you’re wrong. I have so much shit on you, Sade.Somuch shit. As soon as he hears what you’ve done, he won’t want you.”

Old panic slices through me. I didn’t tell Jax everything about the past. He knows big picture things, that I’ve done shit I’m not proud of but he doesn’t know the minute details that truly make what I did horrible. I never want him to know either. “What’s your plan, Psycho?”

“Bringing you back here will help me retain control of these guys. The girls, especially, started getting a mind of their own when you didn’t check in. They thought I’d be lenient on all of them even after I assured them you’d be checking in. That you’re not stupid enough to disobey me like that.”

“I don’t have anything for you yet, Psycho,” I tell him. If I were actually trying to get something, I probably could have. The memory of seeing the keys to the office wafts back to me but telling Psycho that would be a death sentence for Jax and Finn. He’d have his guy wipe everything they have. It would be untraceable, too. They might know it was Psycho but they wouldn’t be able to pin it on him nor get any of it back.

“You weren’t trying.” Psycho’s voice pitches low. “All of my efforts have been for nothing.”

“Pick different targets,” I reason. “You want something from someone else? I’ll do it. You want me to con an old grandfather out of his retirement money again? Let’s do it. I just can’t do it to them.”

He brings his hand back and smacks me across the face again. The tang of copper coats my mouth, and I spit it out on the concrete between us.

When Psycho talks next, I can tell he has the evil smirk on his face. He’s pleased with himself. “I was hoping it might go like this. You’ve just turned this into a ransom. Jax won’t get you back until he pays up.”

A skitter of nerves runs over my spine. My cheek still burns with the slap of his palm over it, and I realize I’m playing into whatever he wants. He doesn’t care how he gets the money, he’ll find a way. If he thinks Jax will come for me, he’ll ransom the money. If he thinks I’ll come to my senses and go back there while still under his control, he’ll approve me to try again.

Psycho is like a rabid dog with a bone. He won’t give up easily, and right now, he smells blood on Jax and Finn’s accounts.

“Leave them alone,” I growl.

Psycho laughs bitterly. “Can’t you see they have so much more than us? What happened to the Sadie who agreed it was unfair that everyone else had a life that we deserved? Some people have all the money. Some people have all the clout, the esteem. No one gives a shit about us. That’s why we do what we do.”

“It’s been a long time since that was your reason, Psycho. Now you only want control over everyone. You want everyone to do your bidding, and you don’t give a shit what you have to break in the journey to get there. But you’re not going to break me anymore, and I’m not going to let you take from them either.”

He’s silent for a moment, and I wish there was a bit of light in the room so I could see the look on his face. “I saved you,” he eventually says.

“You ruined me,” I retort. Something I’ve felt for a long time. I used to tell him he was my savior, pulling me up from the shithole I found myself in when K kicked me out but all Psycho did was drag me further and further down until I not only lost my body, I lost my mind too. It was all wrapped up in his fucked-up head, and I played along with it for a long time too. Too fucking long. No more.

Psycho shoves me backward. “Once I get what I want from you, you’re dead.”

I pull myself off the concrete wall and shrug even though I know he can’t see me. Honestly, I’ve been dead inside for a while. The existence I had before was nothing. It took being back with Jax to see how much I’d given up when I told K Jax raped me. I not only gave up our relationship, I gave up a part of me. Jax was right all along. I was being selfish. Iwassaving him, but I didn’t realize what it would do to him other than save his life. There’s more to life than just living. I know that now. “Be my guest,” I tell him, my words making my body relax with how true they are. I’d rather die than hurt Jax again.

“Keep it up, Sade, and I’ll not only take Jax’s money, I’ll make sure he ends up right beside you when I take you out.”

Fear puts a stranglehold on me. The deafening sound of the steel door closing me in here is like a dark punctuation mark on his words. He doesn’t back down from threats, so I need to take this seriously.

Hours drag on. The days in that old, familiar house make being in here that much worse than it was before. Out there, I could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. I saw that I could be someone different.

A footstep sounds outside the door, immediately piquing my interest. I’m so far removed from the rest of the warehouse that any little noise is a tip off that Psycho could be coming back. I’ve been sitting here dreaming of nightmarish scenarios where Psycho shoves Jax’s lifeless body into the room with me, so I start to panic. The slice of light blinds me for a moment as the door opens, and then a slight figure shuffles through. It’s too small to be Psycho, and when the figure talks, the voice is feminine.

“Hey,” she says. It only takes me a moment to place her voice.

“Hey,” I whisper back, my throat raw and sticky from disuse.

“I probably don’t need to tell you this, but Psycho has really gone off the deep end.”

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