Page 15 of Hush, Hush

To prove his point, he backs away a smidge. On alert, my brain tells me this is just part of his mind game, but fuck, I’m so close to the edge. I need the release. He can’t back away now. That’s the last thing I want. While I war within myself, he blows a hot breath over my core. I break. The sensations are just too overwhelming. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

Keegan moans deep in his throat. “You swear when you’re horny. Keep going.”

My skin bristles. “You keep going.” He pinches my hip, and a yelp escapes my throat. I glare at him, but once he has my attention, he flicks his tongue across my clit. My hips immediately reach to meet his mouth. Hot pleasure swirls in my core. “Yes, Keegan. Please.” He gives me a self-satisfied grin that twists my stomach. Instead of peering into eyes that tell me he knew he would win, I move my stare to the ceiling and focus on the complete bliss coursing through my limbs. He settles into a rhythm that barrels through me, the tip of his tongue circling my clit. My toes curl. “Yes, like that. God, it feels so good. More.”

The more I talk, the more Keegan gets into it. He yanks me forward and sucks on my clit like a man starved.

“Jesus...fuck!” I cry out as my orgasm hits. He sucks and sucks, and my body responds with a climax like no other. My body shakes. My pussy clenches rapidly. “Keegan!”

The post-orgasm high is a state of euphoria. It takes minutes for me to calm down, my muscles relaxing once more. Eventually, Keegan clears his throat. I peer up at him, cheeks heating at the smug grin on his face. “Like I said, sooner than you think.”

My heart constricts. It’s clear there’s a physical connection between us, but is there more? I don’t think I can ever live up to his ideal. “Keegan, I can’t be who you want me to be.”

“Neither can I, Dee. Neither can I.”

For the first time, sorrow blankets his features. Instead of talking it out, he spins, grabs his bag, and exits, leaving me there to pick up the pieces.

ChapterEight

Later that night, I spend time Googling why I let someone like Keegan do this to me—even crave it—when I know I shouldn’t. When I know he’ll just turn around and be a jerk to me at some point in the very near future. I’ll end up wallowing, asking myself every time: Why?

The all-knowing internet tells me it’s just science. He’s triggering my pleasure stimulus, so of course I want him to keep going, to bring me to climax no matter the consequences.

After reality sets in, though, the rational part of my brain takes over. Keegan’s trying to get me kicked out of the Knights. He never wanted me to be one in the first place because I somehow threaten his manhood by taking control of my own life.

I’m not going to be his arm candy for the rest of my life. I won’t be able to live with myself when he starts cheating and I have to pretend I don’t see, hear, or know anything. Sounds like the best way to slowly decay inside.

These thoughts spin through my head all through the night. I have a nightmare in which I’m Keegan’s date at a future work function. No one talks to me. No one even looks at me. They laugh and joke, but I stand mute at Keegan’s side. No matter how many times I try to open my mouth to join in on the conversation, something stops me every time. Eventually, I run away. Scrambling through a maze of halls, I frantically search for a mirror. When I finally find one, my lips are stitched together.

I wake with my heart beating like crazy as if it’s trapped in my chest. I refuse to let this be my future, for Keegan to paint me into a box that I have to stay in. Before I even get out of bed, I send him a text,We should talk.

Afterward, I take my shower, brush my teeth, and dress for the day. I was too focused on Keegan last night to get any homework done, so I fill my bag with books and head to the library to get some studying done before my first class.

The stone structure that houses the library is the most modern on campus. It’s been remodeled several times as the years have gone on, but there’s still some historical parts. Once inside, I take the stairs to the study area where wood beams span the entire ceiling. The arched windows let in a lot of light, streaming through onto the carpeted floor that’s the color of a deep, red wine.

“Psst.”

I glance toward the sound of the noise and find Devon. I wave to him and walk over. At this time of day, there aren’t a lot of people around, but we whisper anyway because of the way sounds carry in this building, especially so close to the rafters like this.

I set my bag down on his study table and sit opposite him. He peers up at me. “I was going to text you this morning. Are you okay?”

I take a deep breath and let it out. No matter how much I try not to think about Keegan’s tongue on me, I can’t seem to get it out of my head. I can’t talk about that with his cousin though, so I lie. “Yeah. I’m good.”

He narrows his gaze and calls me out. “Liar. Something else happened, didn’t it?”

I swallow down my trepidation. It’ll be good to get this out. I can’t talk to my parents. Obviously. And Eden won’t understand why I can’t let Keegan go. She’s always hated him. “Oh, just your cousin trying to ruin my life,” I deadpan, smiling at him afterward to soften the blow. Not that Devon cares. He and I are on the same page with Keegan.

He shakes his head. “I’ve never met two people who were both simultaneously so right for each other and yet, so, so wrong. I think you might actually end up killing him.”

I half snort. “I think it’s the opposite. He takes delight in being mean to me.”

“Not just you,” Devon points out. “Listen, I know he was all pissed yesterday because Anne-Marie sent him a photo of you and the guy at the café shaking hands. Like that’s some sort of crime. Did he do something else?”

I blink, recoiling slightly at this new information. “Anne-Marie sent him the photo? I thought he took it.” Honestly, the timeline makes more sense if he didn’t. He was most likely already having a chat with Sir Reginald when Anne-Marie snapped that picture of me and Tim.

“Yeah, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she’s basically all over your man.”

I shrug. If he’s going to let her be all over him, she can have him. I unzip my bag, take out a giant textbook, and open it. “Oh well.”

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