Page 53 of Lovely Deceit

This situation is looking bleaker and bleaker.

26

Leo

The shadows in this room move steadily across the wall as night turns to day. Usually, I take over the third-floor room when I’m staying in Jarvis. I set it up like I’m the king of the kingdom. When I first got here, I must’ve been too distracted to kick Oliver’s royal ass out of my space.

The shower turns on upstairs, and I incline my head toward the ceiling, tucking my hands underneath my pillow. All night, I’ve been dissecting the twisting in my gut when Eden said I didn’t care.

I guess fucking someone with a bottle isn’t like receiving a Valentine’s Day card. It wasn’t attached with sweet phrases, declarations, and promises.

But I thought she got me. And that, right there, is where I’ve gone wrong.

Me.

I’m not a fool. I knew what yesterday was about, but I still took the control right out of her slim fingers and did what I always do—took things a step further.

I don’t like losingcontrol. When I’m unhinged, I go back to that day—hands and knees sunk into the oriental rug, blood pooling around his pale form.

I’m winning a losing battle, and I don’t know how to stop it.

I tugged myself raw last night, waiting for the ultimate bliss to release through my dick and empty into my hand, but it was useless. Satisfaction never came, even though I was as stiff as I’ve ever been and turned on from playing the scene over and over in my head.

She fucking loved it. That much was obvious. But there was a flip side I didn’t count on. It feels like I’ve betrayed her all over again, and to be honest, I’m not sure I can stop.

Soft sounds of laughter work their way through the floors, and it drives me to finally get up. As soon as I swing my legs over the bed, my cell catches my eye. I kind of want to smash the device into tiny pieces, severing the connection between me and my grandfather.

There’s a text sitting there, waiting for me to answer.Do you know what Eden and Barclay discussed?I sure as fuck don’t, and it’s killing me inside. Not because I want to pass the information on to Grandfather, but I’m curious to know how Barclay is back here and she’s not pushing him away. How he managed to make her come without cheating.

The same desperation I felt yesterday claws up my back as I stride toward the bathroom. It hangs there heavily and then falls over my shoulders, just like the showerhead pounding water down on top of me.

I would’ve resorted to anything to make her come apart on my tongue, but as soon as I did it, I regretted it. I’ve always embraced the monster inside me, and I’ve done it for so long that I’m not even sure it’s tamable now.

Steam fills the room as I step out, dry off, dress, and collect myself before heading out into the main area. As suspected, Alaric is already sitting at the bar. He turns quickly when he hears the floor squeak, but frowns when all he finds is me. “Feeling’s mutual.”

I grab cereal and a bowl, shooting glances up the stairs. All the while, that text reverberates through my head. The urge to ask Alaric what they spoke about is bubbling at the surface. It’s not all my own curiosity either, which pisses me off further.

I can’t shake my grandfather. I want to so badly, but I’ve been conditioned to follow his orders above everything. It’s ingrained in me, like the need to eat in order to live. Like breathing.

Brainwashed. It’s the only way I can describe it.

“How pissed is your dad?” I ask, only to ruffle Alaric’s feathers. I just want to focus on someone else’s pain right now instead of my own.

“Fucking furious. I have no less than twenty voicemails, five texts, and an email that rivals the constitution of the United States.”

“She really got you,” I snicker.

“Probably far worse than she even imagined.”

I shrug. I don’t know about that. Eden is smart. She understands how this world works and still threw herself in with the Knights.

“I’d wipe that grin off your face. You know if she got me, she’ll be doing the same to you.”

I snort. There’s nothing she could do to me short of making my grandfather hate me, and she doesn’t know anything about my inheritance statutes. She has nothing on me, and I like it that way. I keep my circle small on purpose. Instead of saying all that, I shrug. “I’m the one who actually went after her.”

“For purely concerned reasons, I’m sure,” Alaric snaps, gaze darkening.

I don’t let him get to me. I’ve perfected the don’t-give-a-fuck attitude, and it’s worked well for me for many years. You can’t hurt someone who doesn’t care about anything.

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