Page 26 of The Puckable Playbook

“Listen, Trish was a bitch. It’s normal—”

“It’s not about Trish,” he snaps.

“It is.”

“Okay, fine, it is. She twisted me up inside. Had me thinking one way, then the other. It was like a rollercoaster.”

“And you were in it for the ride.”

“Yeah, except the ending sucked.” He pauses for a few moments as the faucet turns on, and I’m worried I’m going to miss something. Morbid curiosity and all that. But when it turns off, I can hear them perfectly again. “I don’t know if I can trust anyone right now.”

“You have to start sometime.”

Dozens of images flit through my mind. The kind of person I was around Trish. The kind of person she really was, deep down, when she let the monster come out. The way she used me to cheat on Zaiah. Of course, I didn’t know it at the time.

She had all of us played.

When I confronted her about it, she acted like she was some sort of diabolical mastermind instead of someone who truly cared about anyone. I couldn’t stand it. For once, I finally stuck up for myself. I told her no more, that she couldn’t use my name as an excuse to see her side boyfriend, and if she did it again and I found out about it, I’d tell Zaiah myself.

To my knowledge, she never did, but I told Zaiah anyway. Well, sort of. I didn’t go up to him and say, “Hey, I know Trish has been cheating on you.” I sent him an anonymous email with pictures I’d taken of a message thread on her cell phone.

I wasn’t sure he’d even read the email, let alone put much weight into the content, but before I knew it, he’d confronted her. To her only credit, she didn’t lie. She spun tale after tale about how they never said they were exclusive, but she didn’t lie.

If you’ve never heard a manipulator manipulate their way through a situation, it is horrific.

While listening to them argue, I picked out things here and there that sounded so familiar. Things she used to say to me that would make me feel crazy for being upset. She knew how I felt about that. We’d spent countless nights of me talking about my overbearing father, and yet she was manipulating me into submission, too.

The worst part of the whole scenario is that Ilether take away my voice.

I wish I’d had the balls to tell Zaiah about her cheating myself. Instead, I made it some sort of espionage mission. Call it immaturity or shyness, I’m not sure which, but sending him that anonymous email sounded like the best option at the time.

Hearing the anger still in his voice, I wish I’d given him that answer respectfully and with sympathy.

I’m glad she moved out. I’m glad she yelled all that awful shit at me and left immediately so I didn’t have the chance to forgive her.

I blow out a breath, and in my stillness of mind, their conversation comes back. “Nothing is going right, so no sense in starting a relationship with anyone. Plus, I’ll be graduating soon. Why begin something when in a few months, everyone will be headed their separate ways?”

“When did you become a nun?”

“I’m being smart. It’s called maturity.”

“I think you’re just scared.”

I close my notebook, my stomach turning over. Zaiah doesn’t want to date, and I don’t even know why I’m reacting like this. I guess there was still a part of me from that night when I was dancing on the table that held out hope…but it’s squashed now.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Zaiah

Lenore climbs into the RV.I peer over my shoulder at her while Izzy’s words swirl inside my head.Scared? Please. I punch people out on the ice if I have to. I’m not ready to have a girlfriend right now because the idea is stupid.

My sister opens her mouth again, and I hip-check her. Luckily, she looks back to find Lenore there. “Inspiration?” she asks her.

My roomie nods. “I have a mind like a sieve, so if I don’t write it down, I’ll forget. Then I’ll get mad at myself and won’t write because I’m convinced whatever thought I had previously was a better thought than any future thoughts.”

We both peer at her, my eyes giving her the “you’re crazy” look.

“It’s a vicious cycle,” she explains.

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