Page 101 of More Than Pen Pals

I look at my hands. “I think Leslie isn’t truly ready, either. I’m not saying what I did was right, but if Glenn hadn’t so recently screwed her over, I doubt she would’ve reacted so strongly to me tonight.”

“You might be right. You gonna tell her that?”

I look up at him. “Should I?”

“Maybe not in those exact words, but both of you need to sit down and talk this thing out—without touching each other.”

I nod. He was right about how the physical side of a relationship can get in the way.

“Ash, I’m sorry that the first time you’ve ever felt this way about a woman, it’s been this hard. Not that relationships are always easy, but you’ve had a pretty rocky start here.”

“It’s not Leslie’s fault, though.”

“Actually, both of you can take some of the blame for the situation you’re in, but it’s mostly that Glenn guy’s fault. Although if he hadn’t dumped her, none of this would be an issue for you, anyway.”

forty-nine

Idespise Glenn with the heat of a thousand supernovas. I thoroughly overreacted to Ash, and it’s all because of what Glenn did to me.

I also hate myself for thinking I’m ready to be with Ash simply because I don’t want to be with Glenn. I’ve proved I’m nowhere near ready, and I’m devastated I hurt Ash. The look on his face when I yelled at him is seared into my brain.

Although I would’ve much preferred to take a cab home, I was so angry when I left the bar I refused to justify the expense. Now, as I bump along in the bus next to an oversized man in serious need of a shower, I’m regretting my choice. But at least it’s given me time to calm down and realize what a fool I am.

Somehow, I contain my tears until I enter my building. As I let myself into my apartment, my phone rings. I have no intention of picking it up, so I let the machine get it.

Soon Wendy’s voice comes out of the answering machine. “Leslie, if you’re there, please pick up.” She pauses for a few seconds and then continues, “I know things didn’t go well with Ash.”

I snatch the phone up. “How do you know?” Maybe she does work for the CIA.

“He drove straight to Randall’s and told him to call and ask me to check up on you. He’s worried about you.”

I yelled at the man, accused him of being ashamed of me, and made a spectacle out of both of us by storming out of the bar, yet he wants to make sure I’m okay? I fall onto my bed and let the tears flow freely.

“I messed up, Wendy.” I sniffle.

“What happened?”

“What happened is I tried dating him too soon. I might be over Glenn, but I’m not over what he did to me.”

“Oh, honey. Do you feel like talking about it?”

I tell her about the conversation. “I totally overreacted,” I say when I finish.

“You did. But before we talk about that, let me assure you he’s not ashamed of you. He’s simply scared of his mother.”

“Is she really that scary?”

“Yes. And he probably should’ve cancelled on Melissa, but that’s not his style. Ash doesn’t like letting people down. He sees it as a personal failure. It sounds like he was trying to do the right thing concerning both of you by not canceling on Melissaandtelling you about it. He could’ve left you in the dark and you almost certainly would never have known.”

I wind the phone cord around my finger. “Do you think he hates me?” I brace myself for her answer.

“Absolutely not. If he did, he wouldn’t have cared about how you felt when you left the bar. He wouldn’t have wanted me to check on you.”

“Do you think he thinks I hate him?”

“No.”

“How do you know?”

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