Page 102 of More Than Pen Pals

“Because he knows what you’ve been through with Glenn, and he’s a reasonable man. And if he doesn’t see sense, Randall will help him see it.”

“Okay.” I hope she’s right.

“Now I have an apology for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I practically forced you to date Ash. During our meeting yesterday I could see how good you are together and how much you both yearned to be with each other, and I allowed that to override the fact that you might not be ready yet. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” I shake my head even though she can’t see me. “It was my decision.”

“But I helped you get there. I almost literally pushed you into Ash’s arms. Please let me take some of the blame.”

“If you insist. And did you really use the word ‘yearned’? Has anyone used that word since Victorian England?”

She giggles. “Maybe not. But I felt it suited the situation.”

I’m silent for a moment. “So what do we do now?”

“I don’t know. I can’t tell you exactly what to do. We’ve experienced my terrible advice on that front. But you need to talk to him and figure out together where you go from here. Until this point, you’ve made most of the decisions, and Ash was forced to go along with them. It might be time to try working together to determine what’s best for both of you.”

“I have been ordering him around, haven’t I?”

“Yes, and miraculously, he has mostly done what you demanded without argument, which is quite out of character for him. He must like you an awful lot.”

I hope he still does after the way I treated him tonight.

“Why don’t you give it a few hours and then call him?” she says.

“There’s only one problem with your plan.”

“What?”

“I don’t have his number.”

“How do you not have his phone number?”

I shrug. “It never came up. Do you have it?”

“No. He famously doesn’t give people his home number. And it’s unlisted, since he’s at his parents’ address. Part of me wonders if he even has a phone. Does he haveyournumber?”

“No. What am I going to do?”

“I’ll call Randall and give him your number. Then Ash can call you when he’s ready. That is, if you’re ready to talk to him. Are you?”

I blow out a long breath. “Yes.”

Unsurprisingly, I’m a nervous wreck after I get off the phone with Wendy. I don’t know how long it might be before Ash calls me. I also don’t know for sure where he is or if Randall can track him down to give him my number.

I’m starving and, as usual, have nothing to eat, but I’m not leaving if Ash might call. So I call Domino’s and order a pizza for delivery, feeling guilty for ordering from the chain when there are so many local pizza places around, but I’m desperate and it’s cheap and easy.

While I wait for both the pizza and the call, I turn on the TV to distract me. I flip to NBC in time to watch the winningWheel of Fortunecontestant shop for her prizes at the end. I always hope someone will choose the ceramic Dalmatian, but I’ve yet to see it happen.

When the game show ends, a rerun ofHighway to Heavencomes on. I watch mindlessly, mostly thinking about how it’s difficult to imagine Michael Landon as anyone other than Pa Ingalls. But then again, for the first few years ofLittle House on the Prairie,I couldn’t think of him as anyone other than Little Joe Cartwright fromBonanza.

My intercom buzzes, jerking me out of my reverie. I buzz the pizza guy up and dig through my purse for cash. We make the transaction, and I carry the pizza box over to my bed. No eating at the table for me tonight. I’m all about comfort, even if my sheets end up greasy.

I’m inhaling my fourth piece of pepperoni with mushroom when the phone rings.

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