Page 59 of Halstead House

Her words sobered me as well. “Yes, well, I’d stay here forever if I could. These past few weeks have been the best of my life. I truly mean that. This is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“I know.” She patted my arm.

“Ana, I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me...” I began.

She quickly interrupted. “No thanks necessary, Grace. We’re friends. It’s that simple.”

My throat thickened and tears rose at her words. She was right. I wished I had a way to pay her back, but I couldn’t see a thing that Ana needed that I could offer her. For now, I’d have to settle for being the best friend to her that I could be.

We had reached the side stairs leading into the conservatory when my phone began to ring. It pulled me from my thoughts and I fumbled with it before answering.

“Hello?”

“Grace, it’s Mother.”

My stomach immediately and involuntarily clenched at the sound of her voice. The husky, clipped tones had a way of putting me on edge before I’d even heard what she had to say. I hadn’t actually spoken to her in weeks. She’d occasionally sent me a text, but I’d only responded when absolutely necessary. Hearing her voice again broke some of the spell I’d allowed my life on Lavender to weave around me.

“Hello, Mother,” I said in a calm voice.

Ana heard and looked to me with concerned expression. She knew enough about Mother to know the relationship was complicated, and enough about me to hear the tension in my voice. She asked me a question with her eyes, and I answered by offering her a smile as I gestured to my favorite bench near the garden fountain, letting her know I’d take the call there. I mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her. She nodded and continued up the stairs into the house. I was sad to see her disappear into the conservatory and close the door behind her. I was alone.

“It’s been seven weeks, Grace. Surely that’s long enough to get this, thishouseout of your system.”

“My sabbatical was for three months. I plan to use all of it.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think, and frankly I’m offended and hurt that you didn’t discuss this with me. Surely the two of us could have come to an understanding.” Her tone changed to one of coaxing and wheedling. This was the tone that was supposed to shift blame to me. To make me look like the unreasonable daughter. It was the same argument she’d used the night I’d told her. She was always hurt and offended when I didn’t discuss my life with her—which is why my life had eventually become hers to run.

Time to practice what I’d been learning. Honesty, standing up for myself, and no apologizing when I’d done nothing wrong. “I don’t think we would have found common ground, Mother. I think you would have continued to tell me not to visit Halstead House, just as you have my entire life.”

Mother huffed. “I don’t see how that’s my fault. Mrs. Reed was unable to travel that far, and what was the point in visiting her childhood home without her?” I didn’t bother with an answer to the timeless argument. “I suppose if you insist on staying there for another month, then I’ll have to insist on coming to see you.”

A stone the size of Texas itself fell into my stomach at her words. No, no, no, no. She could not come here. I had found a place of refuge and escape. I had found a place of peace. I was learning about myself and growing braver day by day. She would somehow find a way to make it about her and push me back into the box where I’d been wasting away.

My mouth worked to form words into some kind of response, but nothing would come out. She had robbed me of speech with her pronouncement. I swallowed three times, hard, and cleared my throat.

“I didn’t think you had any interest in Halstead House,” I said at last.

“I don’t. What I have an interest in is seeing my daughter, and since she refuses to leave the place, I have no choice.”

“I don’t think you should come,” I replied. It had felt like forcing words through a dense fog, but I was proud of myself for getting them out.

“Why not? I’m all alone here. I miss you. You’re what my world revolves around.”

That’s what I was so afraid of. I didn’t want to be the focus of her world again, and I really didn’t want her to become the center of mine once more. “Mother, I really feel that you visiting would be a mistake. You’d like very little about Lavender Island, and I’m working, and you wouldn’t be able to stay with me.” I paused while desperately thinking of other reasons she should stay in Providence.

“Mrs. Reed always spoke about how large the mansion is.”

“It is. But it’s almost totally open to the public except for a few private bedrooms, and with the upcoming events it’ll be even tighter.” I rambled as I listed off any reason I could think of to keep her away.

“Grace Natalie, the fact that you’re trying so hard to keep me away tells me that I absolutely must come see what you’re up to. I’ve already purchased a non-refundable plane ticket. I arrive Thursday. You don’t need to pick me up. I’ve arranged a car for the week. I won’t push to stay with you, since you say I’d be uncomfortable. I’ll find a hotel nearby to stay in. You can expect to see me at Halstead House late afternoon.” I remained silent, taking agonizingly shallow breaths. “Grace, are you still there?”

“Yes,” I squeaked.

“Good. Think of all the wonderful times we’ve had together. We always have such fun, you and I. This will be our latest adventure.”

The truly worst part of the whole thing was knowing that we had indeed shared some good times. Mother wasn’t a total monster. She was lonely, deeply controlling, and selfish, but she had given me enough occasional moments of happiness to keep me off balance. The tug-of-war between loving her and wanting to escape her was beyond exhausting.

The line went dead. She may have said goodbye, but I’d been too preoccupied to hear it. I put my phone back in my pocket and remained seated on the bench for a few more minutes. The sound of the fountain gave me something to focus on as I did my best to talk myself out of a total panic attack.

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