Page 66 of Halstead House

“For a lot of reasons, none of which we need to discuss right now.” He quirked a smile at me, taking any possible sting out of his words, and looked straight ahead once more.

After another few steps he reached out and took my hand in his. I fought to keep from looking at him to see what he was thinking as he wrapped his fingers around my smaller ones. Heat flashed up my arm, and I swallowed hard as warm, gooey, confused happiness ran through my veins. Oh my gosh, this felt good.

“I feel awful that you had to come tonight, and...” I stuttered.

His hand squeezed, stopping my tongue-tied apology. “Don’t. I could have easily gotten out of dinner if I had wanted to. I’m only sorry I wasn’t around earlier. I tried to get home as fast as I could.”

My eyes shot to him. “You did?”

A corner of his mouth lifted as he nodded. Well, that was kind of the nicest thing. I let it wrap me up and bring some heat into my chilled body as we strolled along, in no hurry to catch up with my temperamental parent. It was a mistake, but maybe for the smallest of seconds I pretended we were just another couple out for an evening.

Mother was still facing away from us when we neared the car, heavily committed to pouting. Lucas let go of my hand and moved ahead to help Mother in when I unlocked the doors. The drive to her hotel was frosty. I could tell she had a lot she wanted to say to me but was holding back because we weren’t alone. Because that had stopped her from being an ogre the rest of the evening. Still, I appreciated the reprieve.

We pulled up to her hotel, and she opened the door, offering no goodbye, not even polite parting words to Lucas. I was getting out to walk her in, but she stopped me with a hand in the air.

“I am a perfectly capable adult. I will be in touch.”

Lucas had opened his door to get out, and we sat with our doors wide open watching her disappear. When she was out of sight we turned to each other with identical smirks before we started laughing.

“You might as well move up front.” I chuckled.

“You know that my life is crazy sometimes, right?” he asked when he’d entered the front passenger seat and closed his door. I nodded. “Nothing like this. This was a real treat.”

“I’m expecting a strongly worded phone call in the morning.”

The drive home was much less chilly. Lucas told me a little about his latest business efforts. I shared with him what I’d been up to around the house. It was so normal riding with him in the car—except for the part where he picked a piece of my hair up off my cheek and tucked it behind my ear. That part made my heart thump sweetly.

We rode up the elevator in silence for no other reason than that’s what happens in elevators. He took off his tie and undid the top button of his shirt, rotating his neck and running his hands through his hair. I understood the feeling. When we stepped off we turned to face each other to say goodnight. His hair looked a little mussed. His eyes were relaxed and still held hints of amusement as he looked down the few inches between us.

My heart decided to occupy my throat as I thought about how many weeks we’d wasted not liking each other. I’d been so wrong about him. My palms felt sweaty in the hushed hallway. I was in serious trouble of forgetting my resolve and falling for John Lucas Halstead.

“Lucas?” I gulped. He tilted his head, his eyes questioning. “She was an absolute terror to everyone, but you were... I’ll never... she always... but...” I shook my head, not liking the way the right words wouldn’t come. “I’m messing it up.”

He took a tiny step closer, and something instinctual inside of me reached for him without asking my brain permission. I closed the distance, raised up on my toes, and put my arms around his neck. The hug started out awkward, but he took over, putting both of his arms around me and turning the hug into something natural as he pulled me a little closer and turned his face toward mine, his beard lightly grazing my cheek.

He felt perfect. He smelled amazing. He’d come home early for me. Who was I kidding—I was already half in love with him. There were butterflies. Millions and millions of them, spreading like warm honey, making my heart beat slow and heavy. I felt overwhelmingly shy—and a little like I was about to pass out—so I started to pull away. His arms tightened around me when I shifted, and he turned his face a little more until I could feel his breath on my ear. We were both quiet for several heartbeats, until he released his hold and took a step back.

“I just wanted to thank you for everything.” My voice shook, so I pressed my teeth into my lower lip to stop the flow of nervous words.

“I’m glad I could be there.” A side of his mouth raised up, and he tucked his hands into his trouser pockets. “Goodnight, Grace,” he said.

“’Night.”

CHAPTER 16

Mother had been in town for fifty-two and a half grueling hours before I snapped. I sat on the bench next to the garden fountain after dropping her off at her hotel, devoid of the energy to make it back to my room. The air had turned full on muggy as the month of May took hold. It dampened my spirits as much as it did my light silk shirt. I could feel it sticking to my skin, but I didn’t care enough to pull it back away. The discomfort barely registered at the moment.

What was I going to do? I wasn’t sure I’d be able to fend off her strategic, offensive attack for the rest of her week-long visit. My friends had put up a good show, giving me words of encouragement and support, and Chef Lou had even baked me chocolate chip cookies two days in a row. I had thanked them by keeping Mother away from Halstead House. However, even with their support I felt lonelier and lonelier.

I hadn’t truly realized it before—or perhaps I hadn’t wanted to see it—but Mother was a pro at isolating me. She ate up my time, controlled my decisions, and generally kept me to herself. I was both horrified by the discovery and relieved. Relieved because it meant that perhapsIwasn’t the only reason my life had been without friendships. Maybe, just maybe, there wasn’t anything truly wrong with me other than an overbearing mother. I still wasn’t sure what I was going to do with this new understanding, but it gave me courage to keep pressing on in the face of her displeasure.

I pulled my hair out of its chignon and ran my fingers over my scalp, loosening the strands before tilting my head back and letting them hang free. I was hoping to catch at least a little breeze to cool my head where it was aching. I hadn’t done my hair so tightly in a while and...

Oh. My. Gosh. It hit me like a thundering train as I looked down at my pressed suit and the bobby pins I was still holding in my hands. I was back in uniform. I was wearing exactly what Mother had picked out for me. My hair and makeup were both done to her specifications. I had been loosening up and choosing my own style, and the moment she’d waltzed back in I’d stepped back into her mold. I’d meant to do it that first day, but I hadn’t meant to slide fully back into my past self.

Anger, hot and dark, flooded me. My hands and feet felt numb as the blood pumped to my racing heart. How had I not seen it? Ana had seen it the moment I’d walked into Halstead House that first day, and she’d done her best to crack the Lillian shell and find the Grace beneath it. Yet, I’d picked the shell back up and closed myself in the moment Mother showed up. How ridiculous that I’d ever thought there was a wolf inside of me. No, there were just layers and layers of sheep.

If I hadn’t known how ridiculous it would be to strip naked in the garden and cut up the suit with garden shears, I’d have done it. As it was, I kicked off my heels and chucked them over the garden wall into the street beyond. I hoped a car ran them over. No, I hoped that ten cars ran them over. The shoes were old and stodgy, and I was neither of those things anymore.

---