Page 76 of Halstead House

My head whipped around to look at him. It wasn’t easy to see his expression with just the moon for lighting, but he looked dead serious. “For what?”

“I shouldn’t have jumped into the fray with your mother. I should have allowed you to handle the situation yourself and stayed quiet.”

I took a moment to think through it. While I had really appreciated him being there for me, I hadn’t analyzed how I felt about him asking Mother to leave, or attempting to go head-to-head with her. Howhadit made me feel? Protected or incapable?

My silence must have made him nervous because he started speaking again. “I don’t want you to feel like you’ve traded one bossy person for another. If I made you feel that way this afternoon, I’m sorry.”

I used our twined hands to tug him to a stop and turned to face him. He was so handsome looking down at me with those eyes that were more vulnerable that I’d ever known they could be. He cared. He cared how I felt. He understood how his actions could have affected me.

And I knew then. I knew where the line stood between protector and jailer. A protector was in it for the person they cared for. A jailer was in it for themselves. Yes, Lucas had been temperamental and a bit harsh with Mother, but it hadn’t been because he doubted me or my abilities. It had been because he couldn’t stand by and watch someone he cared for be hurt.

“You care about me.” I didn’t mean to say it aloud, but I whispered the words before I could swallow them back.

His eyes transformed into something I could be swallowed up in. “Yes.”

I could barely breathe. Our gazes locked and everything else faded into the background. I had no words for what was happening to me—and only prayed that he was feeling it too—because I wanted this man to want me back. His face was close, his breath warm, his light eyes so incredibly beautiful I was lucky I didn’t liquefy on the spot.

He stole any further thought out of my head by closing the distance between us, putting his free hand under my chin to tip it upward, and leaning down to press his lips to mine. It was an immediate explosion of sensation. My stomach swooped and I reached my free hand up to the front of his shirt, balling it in my fist. It couldn’t be possible to live through this kind of pleasure. My bare toes dug into the sand, attempting to anchor me while my heart flew off into the darkness.

He released the hand he was holding and placed his palm on the small of my back as he pulled me in closer. My second hand joined my first, pressed against his chest for a moment before I slid them over his shoulders and around his neck. He was so warm and solid and real. I pulled myself against him, and I felt a small smile form on his lips before he deepened the kiss. His thumb caressed my jaw line for a moment, but much sooner than I’d have preferred he released me slowly and stepped back. When I opened my eyes my hands flew to my lips, almost as if to see if it had actually happened.

Lucas said nothing, just reached for my hand again, and tugged to get us walking. We walked without talking, the breeze floating between us, as we returned to the mansion. There didn’t seem to be a need for words, and I was so grateful for the time to process and let my mind wander as I relived the kiss over and over. Sleep would not be coming easily that night.

CHAPTER 18

The next day I was a bleary-eyed see-saw victim, toggling between heartache over the situation with my mother and the constant euphoria over Lucas kissing me. Both things were new and scary in their own way, and I couldn’t settle on one tangible emotion or thought about it all.

I spent the morning with Eliza, catching up on all that had happened over the weeks while she’d been away. We spoke only briefly about Mother, and I said nothing about my exchange with Lucas the night before. I was keeping all of that close to my heart where I could wonder and dissect it on my own time frame.

When I entered the kitchen for lunch, I was relieved to find Chef Lou, Ana, and Marshall chatting it up in a relaxed way. It had been a week of stiff and uncomfortable silences, and as I watched them now, guilt, cold and hard, settled in my stomach. I knew without them saying anything that my friends had endured some sadness. I once again wondered how many of my budding friendships had been lost to Mother.

“Grace!” Ana noticed me before the others and jumped up from her seat. “Welcome back to the land of the free,” she cheered. She ran to me and gave me a huge hug before tugging on my arm to drag me to the table. “We deserve a celebration, right, Marshall?”

“Sure do. What do you say to a night of dancing at the Warehouse tonight?” He smiled at me and reached across the table to pat my hand.

“Are you sure you want anything to do with me after what I put you all through this past week?” I looked at each of them, hoping my eyes conveyed my remorse.

“We’re fine.” Chef Lou surprised me by jumping in. “We had one week. You had many, many years.”

“He’s right,” Marshall said.

“I don’t...” I began.

“Now don’t you start. As far as we’re concerned it’s over,” Ana interrupted. “We’re heading to the Warehouse at eight, and I expect you to be ready to go, fully styled.”

“Fully styled?” I felt the icy guilt begin to melt.

“Fully.” Ana nodded.

“I’m not sure what that means, but I’m suddenly worried that it might involve glitter,” I joked.

“Glitter?” Marshall raised his eyebrows.

“A little extra sparkle never hurts.” Ana’s smile grew.

“It’s a date,” I said. Ana cheered and Marshall nodded happily. “I’ll see you all tonight.”

The rest of our lunch break was taken up with small talk and the usual teasing. I enjoyed re-submerging myself into the banter, but my mind was churning over Lucas. He’d kissed me yesterday, and I didn’t know what to expect from here. We both had jobs to do, and heaven knew his kept him busy. Most likely too busy to text or call, but didn’t people make time for all that? Was there some rule of etiquette that I was too inexperienced to know about? Even worse, did Lucas kiss a lot of women and I was taking it too seriously? I had, after all, kissed Jonathan on a total whim. Sigh.

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