Page 83 of Halstead House

I’d meant it as a genuine question, but his face hardened. “That doesn’t deserve an answer.”

Shame made my face burn. He didn’t deserve rudeness in response to his efforts to be a gentleman. Still... “What if I don’t want to take it slow?” I said.

“I think it’s best...”

I held up a hand and took a step back. “I hope you’re not about to tell me what you think is best for me, because we agreed not to do that.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “What about me taking it slow makes me such a bad guy? Because I don’t want to risk our friendship, or your relationship with Eliza, or your efforts toward finding yourself and healing, I’m the bad guy?”

“You’re twisting my words.” I made a noise and looked away for a moment. Then a thought struck and I turned back. “You gave me your time tonight, right?”

His eyes narrowed, but he gave a succinct nod. “Yes.” There was hesitation in his voice, but I didn’t care.

“Well, I want to spend some of that time kissing in a dark alley where we’ll probably get murdered, but at least we’ll go out happy.”

His face softened, and one side of his mouth tugged up as he reached out a hand and lightly brushed my hair out of my eyes. “I could think of worse things to be doing during a fatal mugging.”

“Lucas, what do you want?” I asked quietly. “I mean really, actually want?”

His eyes traveled over my face, seeming to soak in every little detail. The cold, worried place in my chest began to warm and fill as I saw things in his gaze that I’d only hoped to see.

“I want to spend some of my time kissing you in this sketchy alley,” he said at last.

I almost laughed with relief. “Stop trying so hard to protect me, then.”

He shook his head and some intensity returned as he whispered, “Never.”

Within that same breath he took my face in his hands and pressed a sweet, lingering kiss to my forehead that said more about his true feelings for me than he could have imagined. He moved to my cheeks, the side of my lips, and finally my mouth.

My hands trembled as I reached up to encircle his neck with my arms. I pulled myself closer against him so that our bodies were pressed together. He released my face and bent closer, his arms reaching around me to enclose me entirely.

As requested, he didn’t hold back, and it was the stuff of dreams. I could never have imagined wanting another person the way I wanted all of Lucas. I wanted to know his thoughts, dreams, hopes, fears, and everything in between. It was dangerous, and heady, and terrifying... and I poured it all into him, letting him take it and taste it.

I couldn’t say how long we kissed in that alley, because it didn’t matter. Time was on our side for once. No one interrupted us—or mugged us, thankfully—and neither of us pulled away or asked the other to take it easy. I found something in Lucas’s kiss that healed the sore spots inside of me, and I hoped that he found the same in me.

CHAPTER 19

“Something’s wrong with me,” I said to Ana as I flopped down next to her on the beach where she sat facing the water. The sun was just setting behind us and the waves were soothing. I didn’t notice the beauty. “I can’t focus.” I dropped my head into my hands and continued before she had a chance to say anything. “I’m doing a terrible job of assisting Eliza. I haven’t stopped to look at the stained-glass window even once or been to the beach in a week. I’m a wreck.”

“Yep.”

“Gee, thanks for your words of comfort,” I grumped.

She chuckled. “You’re not telling me anything I didn’t already know. We’ve all noticed you moping around the mansion, obsessively checking your phone for messages.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” I pursed my lips in annoyance.

“It’s exactly what you’re doing.”

“Don’t you have some of your island therapist magic to make me better?” I raised my head to look at her.

Her smile was kindly amused. “I can’t therapy away the fact that you’re twitterpated.”

“Not that again. I’m not a Bambi character. I have a little more dignity than that.”

“Twitterpation is the kryptonite of dignity,” she replied deadpan.

I decided to change tracks. “It’s not like him being out of town is anything new, so it can’t be that. He’s gone all the time.”

---