Page 54 of A Class of Her Own

I raised my eyebrows and pushed down a giggle. Top points for descriptions tonight. And why would Hazel be in a high school locker room?

Brooks held up his hands. “Yes, it’s bad. I think we can all agree that if someone uses the kitchen here, they need to clean it thoroughly and take out all garbage.”

“Who was it?” Leland asked. “No one would be using it without reserving it. I say we find the person responsible and charge them a fee.”

“A fee for what?” Brooks asked.

“For sensory damages,” Hazel wrinkled her nose, “and the cost of fumigating the building.”

“It’s not that bad.” Brooks stated. “And we can’t suddenly make up new fees.”

“It’s like broccoli and tuna had a baby in the office lunch area and then someone microwaved it,” Shayla argued, waving a hand in front of her face.

Well, points for Shayla. I didn’t think she had a creative bone in her body. Brooks laughed at her description, which had her beaming from ear to ear, and my smile completely disappearing from my face. I refocused on Hazel as she banged her fist on the table and wondered why I cared about Brooks sharing a little friendly moment with a member of his board.

“I’d like to motion that Leland finds the responsible party, and they receive a fine.” Hazel raised a hand and glared around the room until two more people raised theirs, too. She nodded her head. “Perfect. I’ll make a note of it in the minutes.”

“No nail gun injury this week?” Leland asked her in a sarcastically sweet tone that was so low I was probably the only one close enough to hear it. I stifled a laugh while Hazel shot him a look. “Just glad you can write again.”

“We’ll readdress the fine later,” Brooks murmured down the table to Hazel, who pretended not to hear him. He looked up again and sighed. “Alright. Now that the matter of the smell has been addressed, let’s move on to our actual agenda,” Brooks said. Hazel handed him a paper from a knitted bag. It was folded a few times, and he patiently unfolded it as he thanked Hazel. “First up on the list tonight. Fines for . . .”

He paused, and I watched as he cleared his throat and rubbed at his beard-covered cheek for a split second. I observed him closely, realizing that in the past I’d have assumed he was annoyed, but now the tight line of his mouth seemed to be . . . struggling not to laugh? No . . . I had to be wrong. He cleared his throat and bit at his lip once more before pushing on.

“Uh, setting fines for homeowners with felines weighing over fifteen pounds.” He didn’t look up immediately, and I wondered what he was thinking. When he did look up, he seemed to be looking over everyone’s heads at the back wall. “The floor is open for discussion.”

His voice sounded strained, not with the cockiness I’d have accused him of before, but with hilarity trying to break free. While I agreed with him that it was hilarious, I also found it to be a gigantic waste of time to even be discussing it. Sure, he had to discuss the items put forth by people, but come on. I turned to see if anyone wanted to say anything before I jumped in with a question. Yes, a question, even though I wanted to kick it off with open mockery.

“Maybe we could get a little clarification on that, Brooks.” Mrs. Parker called before I opened my mouth. She didn’t bother to leave her seat or raise her hand. “What exactly are we discussing here?”

Brooks looked back at the paper and sucked his lips into his mouth so hard they disappeared. It hit me again, clear as day, that he was trying not to laugh. The realization took me a moment to process even though I’d already had an inkling moments before. All this time I’d thought he was fightingforthese people and it was my job to stop this runaway train, but really he was just doing his best to fulfill his presidential role by letting people have their say. I suddenly decided to do something I’d never done before. I was going to sit back and watch. Observe only and see where Brooks took things.

It was only logical, after all, to test my theory.

“Well, Ann, it seems that whoever submitted this request has left off that level of detail. Uh, just that if people own a cat and that cat weighs over fifteen pounds, they would be noncompliant with the HOA codes and owe a fine,” Brooks responded with remarkable calm.

“I don’t understand the problem,” Mrs. Parker murmured to her husband, Dennis. “Are fifteen-pound cats terrorizing the neighborhood?” Dennis shook his head and shrugged.

“Does anyone have anything to add here? If not, we’ll take a vote,” Brooks said.

“Is fifteen pounds heavy for a cat?” another woman asked. I’d been watching Brooks, so I wasn’t sure who.

“Ms. Atwood has a cat,” Brooks replied, looking to me. “Maybe she can answer that.”

If I hadn’t been watching, I wouldn’t have noticed that his eyes were crinkled up at the corners. He was having fun redirecting it at me, and, suddenly, I felt like part of an inside joke—something I had only experienced with my friends and never expected to share with him. He was teaming upwithme rather thanagainstme, and my mind whirled.

“She’s probably the one who put this on the agenda,” someone grumbled behind me, bursting the bubble a bit.

I spun around to stare everyone down before I remembered I was trying to play it cool tonight. I hurried to change my expression to something less threatening. “Anyone who comes to these meetings knows this is exactly the kind of thing I’d consider frivolous. I didn’t submit this request. To answer the question, my cat, Betty, is around nine pounds.”

“Is Betty heavy or thin?” Mrs. Parker asked.

“I’d say she’s neither. She’s at a healthy weight,” I replied.

“Okay, well, fat cats have nothing to do with anything as far as I can tell,” Hazel spoke up. “Let’s have a quick vote so that we can dismiss this and move to the next item.”

She jotted a few things down, and as Brooks opened his mouth to call for a vote, Linda Jackman, an outspoken older woman with too much time on her hands, jumped to her feet and raised her hand.

“Having an overweight cat shows that you don’t care about the health and well-being of your animal. Studies have shown that people who are cruel to animals are cruel to humans and often destructive to property. It’s a measuring post, and an important one.” She was nearly out of breath when she finished.

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