Page 37 of Class Clown

“Good luck here,” I responded, and headed out the door with a smile in spite of the fact that I wasn’t a tip-top shape hiker. I was a smell-the-roses kind of person.Easily distractable, was how some of my teachers had put it.

I did as Cole instructed, changing my jeans into the new purple quick-dri pants I’d ordered and slipping on my good hiking boots. I was excited to try out the new breathable pants, knowing I was going to sweat. Look, I’m a curvy girl and I know women like to say they glisten, but I sweat. I’ve accepted it, I’ve moved on from the years of hating it, and I’m prepared for it. Double swipes of triple strength deodorant would help. So would pulling up my hair and tying a bandana around my forehead to keep thedrips from going into my eyes, because sweat stings. It didn’t hurt that the bandana made me look tough.

I rubbed on some sunscreen and slung my pack on my back. I had pre-loaded it with supplies before coming to the camp and was secure in my preparedness level. No one was going to go without medical attention on this hike.

I hustled up the path, throwing a scowl at porcupine Quinn as he hobbled along to the side of me, and joined up with the crew in the cafeteria as they were finishing up lunch prep. Nico looked up from where he was helping a young boy put the straps of his small pack over his skinny shoulders.

“Cole told you I’m the substitute help today?” I asked. He nodded. “What do you need?”

He directed me to my lunch, which someone had already made, and a filled canteen, which I strapped over my shoulder letting it bump against my hip. Gina gave me a friendly wave, her face light with the joy I knew she must be feeling. I waved back as I tucked my lunch into my pack, and before too long we were in a single file line marching our way into the forest.

Quinn followed.

Darn that rodent. I wished he’d just quill me, stink me out, and put me out of my misery, because this waiting for the attack was shredding my nerves. I’d tried to internalize Nico’s advice and strive for a peaceful ignoring, but I was half afraid to walk under any trees. The forest rangers were taking their sweet time to re-home him. Every day they didn’t show up was a day Quinn grew more confident. He was no longer hiding in the long grasses. He was out in the open. And believe me, our relationship was public knowledge. The entire camp staff found it hilarious to watch this big round ball of death-needles waddle around camp after me. Cole even said he hoped the forest rangers didn’t come, because Quinn was great at letting him know where I was. They clearly didn’t see the malevolence in his aura. (Not that I see auras, I simply felt like being super dramatic there.)

Nico was at the front of the line, striding along confidently, a ball cap tugged low over his eyes. He had on athletic wear, and moved with the confidence of a man who’d hiked many miles over various terrains. In my private thoughts I’d stopped pretending that I didn’t enjoy the way hemoved. He was nice to watch. Gina seemed to agree, because she’d taken up a spot in the middle of the line and not looked away from Nico’s back even once.

Meanwhile, the kids - who I’d learned were in the youngest cabin of campers, making them eight years-old - were chasing grasshoppers and pointing out butterflies, and falling out of line. Nico didn’t notice, probably because he was used to military life and expected to be followed with no questions asked. Gina didn’t notice because she was laser-focused on Nico. I noticed, and followed them to see all the things they were pointing out. There were eight of the little scamps and I found their gap-toothed smiles and shouts of excitement irresistible.

We were all huddled around an ant hill several minutes into our hike, crouched down to see better, when our fearless leader and his number one fan finally noticed they were on a hike for two.

“Oh,” I heard Gina call out.

I looked up in time to see Nico stop and turn around. They were far enough ahead of us by that point that I couldn’t see the looks on their faces. Gina laughed and began to jog back toward us, but Nico stood still, watching and waiting.

I raised from my crouch and adjusted my pack. “Alright, kiddos, it looks like Nico and Gina got ahead of us a bit. Let’s keep going. I’m sure there will be other things to see on the way.”

“But if we walk too fast that porcupine friend won’t be able to keep up with us,” one of the campers said, pointing to where Quinn had laid down to sun himself.

“I think he’ll be okay,” I replied with an eye-roll, not at them, but at the porker on the ground. “Let’s get moving.”

Gina had rejoined us and she cheerfully herded the kids back into their number order and marched them forward to catch up with Nico. Her hair blazed bright in the sunlight and I thought it was so beautiful against the backdrop of green forest and blue sky. Her fiery coloring mixed with Nico’s dark, moody looks would create stunning children. My mind whirled with the possibilities.

“Sorry,” she said to me with a sheepish grin. “I can’t believe I lost track of the kids.”

I wiggled my eyebrows and looked ahead meaningfully. “I’m sure the view was taking up your attention.”

She giggled. “No complaints there, right?”

The kids stayed in line better once we reached the trees, simply because the path was narrow and there weren’t as many animals and things frolicking around. The shade felt wonderful, and the scent of the pine all around me had me falling into my own sort of trance. The crunching of footsteps on the dry pine needles, and occasional bird calls were heavenly. I looked up, enjoying peeks at the deep blue sky, and reached out my fingers to run them over the rough bark as we passed through, zig-zagging lazily.

I wondered how I could get Nico on a private hike for two with Gina. Maybe I could offer to take the kids back early, or leave something at the picnic site that only Gina and Nico could retrieve. I knew that neither of those plans would work, but I wasn’t afraid of a little brainstorming.

“How much further?” the little girl in front of me asked.

I shrugged. “I have no idea. I’ve never been on this hike. But I think it’s really pretty.”

“Yeah. My mom would say that too,” she grumped.

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. “Do you want me to teach you a song to sing while we walk? It might make it more fun.”

She lifted her shoulders up and down quickly. “If you want.”

More squelched laughter. “Alright. Here we go.” I launched into song, and the entire line stopped and turned to look at me as I did. “Do your ears , do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow, can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your ears, hang low?”

I looked around at the group and was happy to see the kids and Gina laughing. Nico was doing his typical observation technique, but with one side of his mouth pulled up, and his smile grew when some of the braver kids joined me for the last line.

Seeing that they liked it I kicked it off again. “Let’s walk while we sing. Join me this time!” The line turned and little feet began marching as we sang the first verse again. “Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow, can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your ears, hang low?”

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