Page 45 of Class Clown

“I’m trusting you with concerning information here, so please act accordingly.” She murmured agreement and I pushed on. “Nico’s handsome, sure, and we’re sort of together all the time which makes it easy to catch false feelings. But the thing is, I’ve never thought he had any personality and my goal this summer was to set him up with either Gina or Kristy.”

“Remind me who they are?”

“My assistant nurse and one of the counselors.”

“Right.”

“So, he’s the last person I want to tingle with.”

“Well, we’re also attracted to people who look healthy and fertile, and I’ve seen his picture. The man is both things.” A low voice signaled that Ford had thoughts on that comment, which had Hailey laughing into the phone, before playfully adding. “That’s probably the main reason I fell so hard for Ford.”

“Ford proves that middle-aged men are in their prime,” I agreed. “He’s a total catch.”

Hailey repeated what I’d said and Ford leaned close to her phone mic to thank me.

“Here’s the thing, though,” I said, getting more serious, “I can’t zing with Nico. I’m coming off a bad experience with Bodhi and I had an epiphany. I’m getting too old to chase every butterfly that tickles at my stomach. I like guys, and romance, and the thrill of the chase, but I’m also tired and lonely and, frankly, angry that I can’t find one decent, reliable, kind man who wants to take me into his arms for eternity.”

“And Nico is none of those things?”

“I’ve never felt anything toward him other than ambivalence. But now . . ..” I let out a deep breath. “I can admit that he’s kind of funny, and thoughtful, and yes, he’s reliable. The other day while I was getting ready for bed, I told him about my theory that King Kong is coming off some generational trauma and needs therapy and a cozy sweater, and rather thanlaughing he thought about it for a minute and told me he could see my point of view.”

“Oh, wow.”

“I mean, come on. That’s hot.”

Hailey laughed. “Totally.”

“But now I find myself tempted to buy a ticket to the same old romance rollercoaster and I don’t want to get back on it. I want to stick with my plans to come away from here better and stronger, while setting him up with a nice girl. How am I supposed to do that when he keep surprising me? What do I do?”

“Oh, Rubes,” she sighed. “One thought that has been a very helpful truth in my life is that feelings are temporary. We can flare hot, but if we don’t do anything to keep stoking that fire it will burn out. Sadness eventually fades, happiness does too. And love . . .”

“I didn’t say one word about love!” I cried. “This was a tiny zing. The littlest thing, really. And it was mostly the tea.”

“The tea?”

I quickly told her about our disastrous hike and how I’d come back to the cabin to find that he’d packed me a change of clothes and made me some hot tea.

“Oh, boy. That’s pretty tingly stuff.”

“I know.” I grumped. “But I’ve zinged before and been in some seriously strange half relationships. The zing is a liar.”

“The zing only shows you possibilities, but it makes no promises.”

“You’re right and I like what you said. Let’s assume that I tingled because Nico is a healthy male who would make good babies, and because we’re stuck in close quarters, but this is nothing more than ancestral biology and it will fade if I don’t feed it.”

“Do you want it to fade?” she asked gently.

“Yes. Nico is the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.”

Hailey giggled. “An Austen quote?”

“Obviously.”

“I love you, Rubes. Don’t stress too much about this. Just have fun living with an attractive man this summer, and keep enjoying making a new friend. He’s Cole’s bestie, it’s probably good if the two of you get along after all this time. Play matchmaker and then tell me everything.”

I laughed, relieved. “Deal.”

A few days later I didn’t think I’d be able to keep my deal with Hailey. Today was reservoir day. It was the one day a week that the entire camp went and played on the lake. I had never gone because some poor camper had always been sick and I’d stayed back to care for them, but this week I was finally here. I’d been looking forward to this day. I loved water and its healing, soothing powers.

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